Old Pain

For a long time, I held on like super-glue on the minds of the dumb and reckless.

I gave birth to resentment and fed jealousy all the nonsense it needed to thrive.

I processed negative thoughts and entertained deception.

I blended life with extra drama and gave hate a glorious reception.

Today I write this to let you know, that today is the day I let old pain go.

I searched deep within and located blue notes of fortune.

I played back the tune and remembered the connection I once shared with you.

The tune went over and through my existence. I feel warm and excited at releasing my stubborn resistance.

I miss you, I love you and this post ain’t no joke!

I wish we could reconnect and remain connected this time. I pushed you and pushed you away at the time. I was a tyrant to our growth – I feared having hope.

I accept that part was wrong and I should’ve stopped when you spoke.

Anything good in my life I don’t believe it, you see.

I poke it and prick it and build walls around me.

I feared being happy, as you made me happy so much so. There were shit times, you were shit at times – all acknowledged and I’ve let go.

Back then I did what I felt was right.

I pushed you away and set our bond on fire. I retreated to my safe space and watched memories burn away.

I apologise.

I’m sorry.

If you ever call I’d say, ‘It’s okay. I understand.’

Unique