iRead: Waxy by Camilla Grudova

iRead: Waxy by Camilla Grudova

“The man ordered a whole Golden Syrup Toast from himself and ate it greedily, chewing with his mouth wide open in a grin. I felt ill, and never went back to that café again. It didn’t much matter, the café menus were the same everywhere:

COFFEE

GOLDEN SYRUP TOAST

BOILED TINNED MEAT WITH TOAST

The tinned meat became grey when it was boiled and made the toast all wet; most people just ordered the Golden Syrup Toast with Coffee.” – Waxy (Pg. 43 Grudova, 2017)

As a Writer, we have the super-power to create any world we wish! From the Wizarding World of Hogwarts, right through to cafes all around offering the same menu. I think it’s easy to forget that we are here to create! I inherently know I was born to create, and that’s all I do.

There are no rules to a Writers creation – You are the Creator in your world of Writing.  I want you to remember that. Even if you are only starting today, or you started a while ago, you are in charge of your creative pieces, and I implore you to create whatever you wish, in your own words.

Ted Hughes wrote Iron Man

JK Rowling created Harry Potter

Richard Siken penned You Are Jeff

And I created Exit Sasha

Creative Writing isn’t about writing for the sake of it and hoping it’s incredible. For me, it’s about writing from the heart, while remaining true to my mind. My amazing mind that produces unique pieces!

What super-powers do you possess as a writer? What advice would you share in this day and age?

I appreciate everyone who reads my blog, and I hope that you gain something positive from your visit.

Unique

About Earlier

📸: Taken by Crow

About Earlier

I went for a run.

Crow stayed near our home.

I went for a scan and was asked to return next week. Apparently, my bladder was not full.

I walked, and I walked, embracing the quieter roads and sounds of nature.

I bought mushrooms, broccoli, onions and rice.

I returned home and baked a banana loaf.

I sniffed the tulips, that rest upon the coffee table. I hate coffee.

Crow snuggled up in the corner of the window, the sunlight making his sapphire blue eyes sparkle like the crystals next to him.

We’re both introverts.

We’re both thriving.

We’re both happy.

Tomorrow, I will continue to read The Dolls Alphabet, and Crow will interrupt every three minutes. I like number three.

Now we sleep.

Lockdown

For the past few days, Unique has been indoors; anxiety has her paranoid.

Daily, she sprays disinfectant and prepares vegan food. Moaning at Crow, ‘stay indoors!’

But Crow wants bagels, Crow want’s joy. ‘Stop being a worrier; it’s not a pandemic its all a ploy.

Unique has not eaten much since last Wednesday I’m told, she’s developed an aversion to food – through worrying about the sick, elderly and the homeless. During a shopping trip Wednesday morning, she witnessed people with full trolleys fighting over pasta while elderly customers struggled to navigate through the crowds to get any essentials.

     Unique returned home and saw videos posted online showing selfish people stockpiling on essential items – Who needs so much loo roll? When did the flu cause you to shit more than usual? That’s unusual.

     Unique saw some positive posts via Instagram, showing fishes, swans and dolphins return to clear waters in Venice. Bull-fights have been cancelled, Cheltenham Horse racing cancelled and the consumption of plant-based milk soaring.

Yet, she remains indoors!

Crow lusts after the chances to fly out and explore the supposedly vacant streets. But Unique is down, and she’s his only reason for staying indoors…

*If you care about your friends, family and community you live in. I implore you to stay indoors!

Please follow the government’s advice and stay indoors! Those of you who have to go out for work, buying food, etc., please adhere to social distancing rules.

As Unique climbed into bed, Crow swooped down onto her headboard and whispered – ‘Heal the world, make it a better place, for you and for me and the entire human race. There are people dying if you care enough for the living make it a better place for you and for me’ – Michael Jackson

Crow Knows Virus

From the files of Crow

I sneezed on a train earlier today, and people looked on in horror and disgust.

I had sneezed into my tissue, my Kleenex tissue, my menthol double-layered Kleenex tissue.

I saw the Dark Lord appear.

He hopped from a fat person’s fat head to an anorexic’s knee and said, ‘Tell me, oh! Tell me, how does one identify the Coronavirus?’

I sneezed again and folded my tissue around my nose, for snot had peeked out and well, I suppose, nose-wiping is permitted.

The crowd ignored the Dark Lord. The flabby man raised his scarf over his mouth.

‘I’m told by God that the flu kills more people each year than Corona. But you filthy fuckers scorn Unique! Was a black man not lynched the other week? Is there not a war being fought overseas? Didn’t good old Mrs Smith from Chiswick die from heart failure?’ He tilts his little head to the side and sees a woman with red hair, squeeze hand gel onto her hands, rubbing them vigorously together and then rubbing it over her face.

Our Dark Lord Crow stops the train; a few wrists are broken in the process. The red-haired woman falls onto her back, Crow glides down and perches on her disinfected face. ‘So tell me,’ he whispers, ‘how does a mortal know the difference between the flu and its cousin the Coronavirus.’

The red-haired lady stutters, from her view, all she can see is the ass of a blackbird. ‘The news, news said, said that, that you can catch it from infected people.’

‘So you’re telling me Unique is bad bacteria?’

‘No, but, but she sneezed.’

‘So you’re telling me Unique has the coronavirus?’

But before she could answer our Dark Lord Crow, turned to face her and hurled out the most disgusting sneezed ever witness on board a train. It was a blend of the usual snot and mucus. But it also contained rotten bits of bagel, congealed blood and a small piece of a rats tail. Once he finished sneezing, Unique knelt and wiped his face with a baby wipe. Kissed his little head and said, ‘time to go home now.’

He glared at all the other passengers before infiltrating the announcement system, ‘CROW KNOWS VIRUS, CROW KNOWS VIRUS.’

They both returned home and enjoyed a discounted bottle of Corona beer.

Bah! Humbug!

📸: Unsplash

Bah Humbug!

December is the month we indulge and be indulged, overeating roasted flesh and vegetables that accompany the dish.

We like to spend!

We like to spend what we have.

We like to spend what we don’t have.

TREAT YOURSELF!

Scream the lights hung up inside windows of our local ‘Highstreet.’ We hate being told what to do, but we are obedient when those lights tell us what to do.

Bah Humbug!

To the one use only Christmas jumpers – Yes! I know you felt you would get your wear out of it. But you say this every year, and every year you buy a new jumper. Donating £2 no £3 to the Christmas Jumper day charitable event.

Which as some say, ‘every little helps.’

How much did you spend on gifts this year?

Ooh! How much have you spent on food?

Don’t worry, you donated a few cans of chickpeas back in March to your local food bank. That’s alright, someone will benefit from your out of date donation. What did you say you’re having for Christmas dinner again? Ah! Let’s recap.

Starters

  • King prawns roasted in garlic butter laid on a bed of lettuce.
  • Sweet Thai chilli chicken, served on bruschetta.

Main

  • Roast Turkey/Chicken/Lamb/Salmon/Duck/Pig
  • Roast potatoes
  • Various vegetables – Must have sprouts
  • Pan-fried bits of bacon
  • Rice
  • Lashings of gravy
  • Stuffing balls

Pudding

  • Apple-pie
  • Apple Crumble
  • Christmas Pudding
  • Jam Roly-poly
  • Ice cream

A general idea of what some families have on Christmas day

It’s sad. We do so little to help those less fortunate – I’m not knocking your mini donations, a £1 here or a £1 there. ‘Every little helps.’ How much did you say Christmas dinner costs?

Christmas Day, one measly day out of the entire year. I use the term measly because it’s a day where the many are for themselves, and the few go on to suffer…

Bah Humbug!

Indoors overeating and eating, feeling full and still eating. Some people in receipt of gifts and tweeting their disgust, ‘I didn’t ask for this! I wanted that!’

Tis the season to be jolly.

You deserve all your heart desires and more. Let’s not think about the homeless this season. You received £600 worth of gifts. But that’s not enough! You expected more, you’re worth more.

John received a meal and a pair of socks, which was a gift from a charity.  On Boxing Day the 26th of December, most of the nation will be battling their way through the sales. Indulging even more.

There exists a plethora of reasons why I don’t like Christmas, and overindulgence is my primary one. It’s like we are a world of split-personalities. On the one hand, we infrequently feel charitable and donate from time to time. What is £1 compared to £600? Well it’s £1 more than £0

     I wish the month of December weren’t so commercialised. That we helped one another willingly and showed gratitude genuinely. It’s tiresome seeing the fights recorded the day after Christmas.

Our world is being destroyed by our own destructive choices, our indulgence in consumption and our lack of care for others.

“Heal the world

Make it a better place

For you and for me

And the entire human race

There are people dying

If you care enough for the living

Make it a better place

For you and for me”

– Michael Jackson

Green

📸: Unsplash

Gratitude

I expect what I expect, and I want what I want, I demand what I feel like at the time I state it. Only, it’s not mine to ask for. The image I see before me looks appetising, everyone is beautiful, and the materials that cover them, with the objects that surround that are luxurious.

*I click LIKE!

I love that you post up and show up.

*A few more LIKES!

Oh! How delightful you are, I just adore your outfits and the setting.

#GOALS

#MyLife

#Love

#MoneyMoves

Rude

I message you, I call, I email, I write, I want to see you. It’s rude as fuck when you are too busy for me. I know, I know, I’m asking a lot from you. But you know, there’s an old saying, ‘if you don’t ask, you don’t get.’ So I ask, and I ask and well, I haven’t gotten anything.

I mean, do people now die from replies?

Were you injured from texting?

I’m kidding, come on, I mean it’s not as if you would do that on purpose now. KMT

Envy

Yes! I heard that’s what my behaviour can be described as, but I’m not envious. Why would I be? I don’t even care about whatever I asked you about three days ago. I mean, that was three days ago, it’s forgotten.

It was only something about where did you purchase your dress from? But, I forgot about that come nightfall. I found something better online.

I found this er, this dress from? Oh, sugar! I can’t remember which site exactly, I had a bit of a splurge that night, I’m positive it was Wednesday night! I must have spent like? A lot!

I even bought those earrings, you know the ones you’re wearing in the pic you posted up onto Insta. I think you posted it that morning, beautiful earrings and yes! That’s why I called you a few times.

Evil

Why on earth would anyone describe me as evil? What have I done exactly? I know I had to send your correspondence to voicemail, but I was so busy. I had family over from Canada, and well, you know what happens when family from overseas visit, it’s like they each need a minder!

Honestly, hun, I wasn’t ignoring you.

I would never do that. I was just busy, you know with work and family, and I felt sick, I had a cough.

I didn’t complain when you were the same, a mere two weeks ago! Not that anyone is counting dates or anything.

Nonsensical

I’m unbothered.

You’re paranoid. Do you really think I could be so? Childish? I mean, I don’t even recall half the things you’re complaining about. But that’s okay, I know you’re going through it, so I’m going to just leave you to it.

Whatever you think it is, it really isn’t that deep.

I mean, you say it like I’m jealous or something.

Secrets are Secret

Photo credit: Unsplash

Have you ever felt so strong that if you were shot, you could take it?

Like right here, right now.

BANG!

Through the centre of my heart, a bullet made from diamond pieced through.

My love for you poured out, crimson in colour, the temperature was the body.

Are you comfortable enough?

My heart is now faulty.

Pain, what pain? I’m too shocked to notice.

Eyes closed I hear your voice, ‘Unique, stay with me, baby.’

Like a baby, I lay helpless.

But I love this shade of red, it suits me.

You always looked impeccable in a suit darling, always.

I feel the warmth of your whisky infused breath, upon my eyebrows.

‘You can’t leave me Unique, we have a whole future together!’

I wonder if you noticed the expiry date when we joined up?

Thinking ‘forever’ never means the definition.

I found that out twenty seconds ago.

Have you ever felt so powerful, that if you were shot at, they would miss?

Rat-ta-ta-tah

(Pop, pop, Pop)

A bullet scrapes by the side of my neck. But you’re alright darling, that’s all that matters.

‘Unique, I love you with all my heart.’

My heart bleeds out, air drifts away from me.

I can’t feel your breathing anymore, I struggle to open my eyes.

I know I’m dying.

Rat-ta-tah!

‘Unique, I’m sorry baby. You know I love you, I do.’

Rah-ta-ta-tah, Rah-ta-ta-tah!

(Pop, pop, pop)

Every time you come around.

I take a few steps back, you make ten strides forward.

I tell you no.

You answer for me.

I lay motionless with a 5cm hole through my heart.

The beats are fading out.

Every time.

You return like the predicted coming of Jesus.

Only you’re here, right now.

BANG!

My brown eyes open the moment the bullet cuts into the skin between my eyebrows.

Breathing

My sun, my moon, my peace.

Everything I did was for you.

My moon, my sun, I sleep.

Everything you did was for you.

Never again will I see, never again will I feel.

Once loved, twice shot.

Twice shot, lovers plot.

11:11

Lovers plot? What’s the essence?

To kill for love, to kill equates to no sense.

No senses are working, I’m sorry.

Time of death.

‘I’m sorry, Unique! Please don’t die. I don’t know what came over me. I never wanted you to leave me. I’m sorry.’

He cradles my body and his tears and hysterics shower me with wasted energy.

‘I, I only wanted you to be mine. I wanted you to love me, just like I love you. Look, I wanted us to get married.’

He picks up the diamond ring from the side of my thigh and pushes it onto my ring finger.

He presses his lips upon mine and somehow ignores the blood that covering my Ruby Woo.

‘I panicked. Please, GOD! Please don’t let her die.’

His phone beeps.

He sends a reply.

He looks at pictures of us taken yesterday.

Plays the video

‘I wish we could spend the rest of our lives together, just us.’

‘I do too, baby girl.’

He phones the police.

Secrets are Secret