We talk about life and how it is better to do something now rather than leave it until later because of YOLO.
But the truth is, you only die once!
You can love and become destroyed all within the same relationship.
A lack of consistency with earnings can push you into a lane riddled with broken glass, and you’ll stop walking because the end result is not worth the pain, especially as there is no guarantee of a better ending than where you currently stand.
Tears are temporary and dangerously futile – I cried over heartbreak, and my heart crumbled even more.
Who am I to ask for more when life suggests I need less until I fade away to nothingness.
Why are you waiting for something to happen for you to progress? Or rather, why don’t you trust that you are more than capable of committing to your goals and surpassing them.
Or maybe you are vanishing into the grey mist of confusion, and before you know it, you’re 84 and taking a leap into life.
A Saturday of Significance – 19.06.2021
Some mornings I wake up and see mini reels of those days, playback in my mind. You had known me for the best part of more than two years, yet when an indignant person decided to speak lies into the ears of few, you sided with them over my heart.
When I sought your support, you turned your back and fixed your mouth to speak sideways from your neck. In-person, you silently chose to side with a liar.
When apart, you voiced how real their story felt. Yet, you and a few others ignore the fact that you know I have never done anything like or similar to the words this attention seeker repeated.
It is incredible how liars become victims these days, and their target receives hate and a tainted reputation – all from a lie.
The most significant memory that tortures me is where I welcome this person into the group. I educate this person and uplift them. I provide for them and encourage them to step up onto the next stage and fly!
Imagine for a moment the smile that beams from their burgundy painted lips. ‘Good Morning Unique! Thanks for everything you have done for me; I couldn’t have managed this week without you.’ Words that instil a positive vibe within any form of relationship, facial expressions that gain trust and assure you that this person is genuine and respectful.
Little did I know back then that behind every smile was a whisper to another that I’m the bad guy. Layered between every compliment was a personal attack, sent above and around me, about me.
Some mornings, like this morning, I wake up and playback a period in my life where I was framed. I was made a scapegoat, and my lips were sealed together with lawful threats. There are seconds when I notice I’m not breathing or I’m breathing too fast. Where I freeze, and my tears scream to be freed, but I know I’m tired of crying. I wonder if I should have highlighted how I was tormented, used and discarded because…
I draw comfort from our universe as I know karma exists. I understand that time is key, and justice will arrive at the right moment.
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For a long time, I held on like super-glue on the minds of the dumb and reckless.
I gave birth to resentment and fed jealousy all the nonsense it needed to thrive.
I processed negative thoughts and entertained deception.
I blended life with extra drama and gave hate a glorious reception.
Today I write this to let you know, that today is the day I let old pain go.
I searched deep within and located blue notes of fortune.
I played back the tune and remembered the connection I once shared with you.
The tune went over and through my existence. I feel warm and excited at releasing my stubborn resistance.
I miss you, I love you and this post ain’t no joke!
I wish we could reconnect and remain connected this time. I pushed you and pushed you away at the time. I was a tyrant to our growth – I feared having hope.
I accept that part was wrong and I should’ve stopped when you spoke.
Anything good in my life I don’t believe it, you see.
I poke it and prick it and build walls around me.
I feared being happy, as you made me happy so much so. There were shit times, you were shit at times – all acknowledged and I’ve let go.
Back then I did what I felt was right.
I pushed you away and set our bond on fire. I retreated to my safe space and watched memories burn away.
If you ever call I’d say, ‘It’s okay. I understand.’
Almost daily I miss our bond.
I love you and I’m sorry we never remained friends.
I know in my heart we were bought together to educate specific areas of my life.
I know in my soul that were it not for your presence, I would never have levelled up!
You may never reach out following our last conversation. However, if you did? Know I’ll be happy to hear from you.
I may never contact you in this world. However, take comfort in the fact that I want to.
I’m in a place where my thoughts are valued and my points are understood. I’ve found a space for my creativity to thrive and for my heart to expand with joy.
I have a bounty of gratitude I reflect upon daily.
Our initial bond gave birth to a whole new universe and I’ll forever remain dedicated to the gift. Your role in this has been noted and tears have fallen.