One Year

This time last year I was being lied to. I trusted this person and they lied to me. For months…at the final hour, they departed my life.

 Piano Sonata No.14 Beethoven plays as I type.

They then tried to keep hold of aspects. It was a challenging moment, but I managed to free myself from all detrimental scenario(s.)

They tried to keep hold of what they lacked without my presence. 

This time last year I felt these negative vibes – I ignored them in exchange for temporary details.

     Burning red flags presented themselves at every turn. I fanned them away, in favour of something amazing? Like I said, this person had my trust!

This time last year, I danced with deception and flirted with fakery. 

The impact

  • They’ve permanently lost my confidence in their ability, to be honest, and show integrity.
  • I can’t comprehend why I ignored the inferno that roared inches from my body.
  • Our universe will raise them up and at their pinnacle moment of self-actualisation cracks will deepen into graves for their bounty of happiness.
  • I’ll pay my respects with a single hemp seed.

Update

  • private & confidential.
  • My circles are trustworthy.
  • My life is abundant in love.
  • All red flags are acknowledged.

Future Scope

  • We will never see one another again.
  • We will never correspond in any way, shape or form.
  • When the last petal falls and they burn away the facade, I won’t hear the formation of a river from painful tears.

  Legacy

  • They ignited this insatiable thirst. I drink deeply, daily!
  • I’m grateful for the double-edged sword they used to slit gaps in my circulation. I can’t stop the bleed – vampires wait to be fed. They present lies in exchange for life.
  • Private and confidential.

Inside

You never know what people are going through behind the scenes.

Sometimes your thoughts take you down blind roads. You feel warm but you’re scared.

You try reaching out to people you once deemed as trustworthy but they’re focused on their lives – you no longer meet their requirements.

Confidence is broken.

They’ve moved on.

You’re abandoned, you feel your heart beating and you want it to stop!

You want to lay there in bed and understand what you did wrong?

You feel alone.

They’ve gone.

Your fragile heart is broken and your mind full.

Ignored because you’re faulty.

Like drugs, you consume more and fuck up your perspective.

You make comparisons and you conduct a study.

You don’t comprehend the results, because everything points toward your favour.

Only you see red.

You imagine your absence to be peaceful.

Cold Nation

📸 Unsplash

Cold Nation

Walk by the beggars that beg; maybe it’s for drugs? Maybe it’s for alcohol?

We can’t hear them.

News: The government say they have put aside millions of pounds to house the homeless during the coronavirus pandemic.

Viewers – Aww, that’s brilliant.

Walk by beggars who ask you to spare some change. They’re probably spending it on drugs and my money isn’t going to a crackhead.

Let’s get in the queue for McDonald’s, we haven’t had Maccys in weeks! We deserve a treat.

‘Spare some change please Luv?’

Sorry, I only have my card on me.

‘God bless you.’

A Gradual Ease

📸Unsplash

No socialising, no socialising. I forbid you to fucking socialise.

2 Metres, 2 metres no more than 2 metres.

1 metre and 2 bubbles! Oooh, pub crawls from July 4th. The rest of your educational year is still prohibited.

STAY ALERT – CONTROL THE VIRUS – SAVE LIVES

RIP, ‘Thankfully, only a few hundred people have died since last week.’

‘Remember, to wash your hands!’

I Saw Blue

From the files of Unique

I saw blue

Inhale and ask, I’ll hear and maybe listen.

Exhale and step back…I’m hurting.

I try to save myself, but I see my veins turning blue. My favourite hue so I don’t stop it.

Say my name!

Save me!

Do I need you?

Uncertainty pushes stagnation deeper and I plunge into darkness.

I need someone to help me up.

I need an anecdote. Something amusing.

I’ve already tried forgiveness.

I tried believing.

 Inhale and maybe I’ll hear your voice.

Exhale, step back…I’m crying.

You’re acting kinda shady!

What’s my name?

I’m not a temporary thing.

I’m not your option.

I’m not a fuckin time stamp!

I’m not your second or third.

I’m not your escape.

I’m not your therapist.

Equally, I’m not your bitch!

Oo blue oozes out of my purpose. I find it hard to cry because I’ve done that many times before and nothing changes.

Who am I?

You like to fuck with my conscience. That’s why I’m in this position.

You act like I don’t exist.

You act like I don’t exist.

You act like I don’t exist.

Today is not a year ago!

FUCK YOU!

Why am I here?

Why did you drag me here?

Why didn’t you leave me there?

Blue bleeds through the air I breathe.

I often drown into memories of your eyes.

I saw blue…

Disconnection

📸: Pixabay

No arguments.

No additional information.

No reminders.

No pleas!

No statements.

No subliminal memes on my status updates.

No cryptic tweets.

No hashtag.

No handwritten letters.

No obvious notion.

No phone call.

No smokescreen.

No emails.

No screenshots.

No reminiscing.

No dreams about cutting you up into tiny pieces, seasoning you with a pinch of salt and a cup of pepper and feeding you to a murder of CROWS.

*I simply blocked and deleted your connections to me.

Over

📸: Pixabay

How did I arrive here?

When did I start to detest you?

[You hurt me]

I hear you want my magic, again.

I feel you miss me.

I know you need us.

Only over my dead body…

When did I become so lost?

Why did I lose focus?

How did love get so stale?

[You stabbed me 33 times]

I know you want to hold me.

I sense you genuinely care.

I heard you call my mind out.

Over my dead body…

When did I forget who I am?

How did I fail to acknowledge the red flags?

Why did I swipe right on you?

[You disrespected our relationship]

I know you’d never have left me.

I hurt from the mental abuse.

I cry for the physical detriment.

Over my dead body…

To feel my heart beating was a privilege you’ll never experience again.

To have my fine elixir drown your handsome face will never be repeated in this life or the next.

To hear my voice whisper how amazing you are will remain a pretty dream you have before my presence in your life haunts you.

Now I know your mind is defeated, I can sleep with ease.

Rest In Peace

Unique