Crow: 100 Followers


     ‘Unique! Guess what day it is today?’

     ‘Sunday the 12th of July.’

     ‘But Unique, guess what day it is today?’

     ‘I’ve just guessed.’

     ‘Try again!’

He opens the blinds in my bedroom and although it’s 0444 the sky is pitch black.

I blink a few times and then rub my eyes.

     I noticed his sapphire blue eyes are gleaming now, Crow is happy. Elated in fact. I slip out of bed and say, ‘what happened the sun?’

     ‘Unique, don’t you know what day it is today?’

     ‘Crow, sweetie, I’ve already told you – Sunday the 12th of July 2020’

I then wink at Crow and head into the bathroom. I’m guessing I’m imagining the blackness outside. Maybe the time is wrong, and I’ve been woken up in the middle of the night? Either way, something is off today.

I brush my teeth.

I squeeze a large portion of coconut shower gel onto my navy-blue washcloth and wash away the night before.

A fine ballad of tweeting reverberates through our home and shakes the blueberry candle, just a little.

I dry off, dress and apply the perfect layer of Ruby Woo by Mac on my lips.

I enter the kitchen and look around for Crow. He’s not here – he’s usually eating bagels by the time I finish getting ready. I glance outside and see that it’s pitch-black. I check my watch and see the time is 0722. The sun is usually out by now.

I walk cautiously out into the hallway and slowly open the front door. The sweet song from above is utterly divine. I’m looking up and above my house is a? Well, what looks like a giant-size sheet of? Black. I walk down the driveway and hum along with the blackness above me. I recognise this tune, only I’ve never heard it in this manner. Piano Sonata No. 14 Beethoven

The shape above me looks like a triangle, off in the distance I see sunlight and at the very front of this black triangle, I notice a glint of blue.

The blue moves forward, separating itself from the shape. And there I realise Crow has grown – at a guess, he’s 3 metres long and his sapphire blue eyes are the size of Granny Smith apples.

He swoops down toward me, shouting, ‘UNIQUE GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS?’

I smile as he lands right beside me, his jet-black feathers blowing the last few shower droplets out of my sapphire blue braids. I stroke his left-wing and whisper, ‘we now have 100 followers!’

Crow squawks to the black plume above and that’s when I see a murder of 100 crows breakaway from one another and release blue sparkly words of love and appreciation.

They then disperse and fly away in different directions, across our universe.

Crow and I stand at the end of our driveway and salute all of you!

Thank you.


Crow & Unique

Crow: The Bake Off

I had been submerged into an acai-berry infused salt bath, that kissed my brown skin with extra sweetness. Cherry scented candles glowing upon my windowsill and blending delights through the air when I heard the smoke alarm going off.

I enter the kitchen and I’m smothered by a plume of smoke – Crow has the oven door open.

     ‘Unique, I thought I would treat you to some cake, but I became too engrossed watching Money Heist on Netflix.’

     ‘Sweetie, this does not smell like a treat!’ I stretch over his little head and open all four windows. I heave and push my head out of one. ‘Crow, what on earth have you been doing?’

     ‘Baking a banana loaf! It’s all the range during lockdown.’

     ‘I can’t smell bananas.’

     ‘Because I added my own special touches to your recipe, look.’ He pointed a claw to the recipe book on the table.

                3 Very ripe bananas

                110g soft light brown sugar

                2 large eggs

                120ml sunflower oil

                225g plain flour

                1tsp bicarbonate of baking soda

                75g of chopped walnuts

That was what was printed originally – ‘You like my additions?’ Crow cheered as I looked closer at the page.

                3 Very ripe bananas 7 bananas (any kind)

                110g soft light brown sugar

                2 large eggs

                120ml sunflower oil Oil from Leslies liver

                225g plain flour 225g of Mr Bakers charred skin

                1tsp bicarbonate of baking soda

                75g of chopped walnuts 75g of chopped nuts from selfish men

I put on the oven mitts and waved away some of the smoke. I picked up the cake tin and carefully placed it onto the glass worktop saver.

As the smoke clears, I see a bubbling ball of? Well, I don’t know what it is. It looks disgusting.

Crow flies over and lands on my right shoulder and says, ‘ladies first.’

I turned to the sink and threw up.

Crow: Happy Fathers Day


The sun shone brightly and beautifully over everything here today in this space. The trees, bees, birds and I. The bees, birds, trees and Crow.

Together, side by side we perched on a wooden bench. Mrs Anna Smith 2019 was engraved into a bit of copper behind my back. Crows sapphire eyes rested at the scene and my heart eased at the setting.

     Earlier this morning we had woken up at 0400 and then again at 1000. We had eaten waffles for breakfast! Crow made 3, one for me, one for himself and the other one for later. I had told him to just make it later, only he insists we won’t have time.

Many years ago I prayed for your return. I prayed for you to be here, to hold me and to lead the role that you created in my-life by default.

Today, I turn and ask Crow, ‘Where’s your father?’

     ‘I’m am the father.’ He squints his eyes at me and swallows 1/4 of his waffle. ‘But Crow, I mean, you never speak about your family.’ He sips some water and whispers, ‘I am the sun.’ I smile and reply, ‘you’re right about that, you brighten up my day, every day.’

As I was saying, we’re currently perched side by side on a wooden bench. We’ve been seated for about 3hrs now.  Crow begins to peck at his cold maple syrup-drenched waffle.

     It’s a weird feeling seeing you again after all these years. You’ve aged, you smell like something I’ve never smelt before. You’re silent and you look amazing in crimson.

     I know you would be crying with both eyes, but Crow explained that he had pecked the left one out as you spat on his left-wing. I imagine you would apologise, but Crow pointed out that you threatened that God will strike him down dead!

     Now we wait, sunset will arrive after 2100 only by then, I’ll be at home asleep and alone. Crow promised me that he will shower you with the same energy you gave to your beliefs in God.

At 2103…Unique is at home sleeping peacefully after a nice hot bath. She had drizzled honey and sprinkled sugar over the water. Apparently, this is how you curate sweet dreams.

  Crows final thought: ‘I am the father. I am the sun and I am Crow!’

He urinates on your head and you move your head to the left slightly. His piss burns your visible wounds and you cry. Crow laughs because the people around you can’t hear you. Maggots chewed out their brains and worms wiggled through their souls.

‘Cemeteries are for the dead! Which you will be apart of in precisely 34 minutes.’

 Crow flies up into the light dusky sky and shouts across to the world, ‘I am the Holy Spirit! Happy Fathers Day.’

From the Files of Unique: Remember When

Remember when I was a scientist aged 12.

Remember when I became an Artist shortly after.

Remember when My voice was the twin tone of Mariah Carey’s.

Remember when My body was slim and appealing.

Remember when I had friends who I could trust wholeheartedly.

Remember when I used to eat meat.

Remember when I gave up meat.

Remember when I was a Hairdresser and cut my sister’s hair off.

Remember when My heart belonged to a selfish bastard.

Remember when I used to spend hours understanding people.

Remember when I called every Wednesday after work and awarded you two hours or more of deep and meaningful conversation. I used to listen to your nonsense.

Remember when I told you I loved you.

Remember when you hit the spot and pushed for my everything.

Remember when I considered myself to be a psychologist.

Remember when I wrote you a four paged letter and enclosed it with a kiss.

My memories are all that I have left…

Crow: Don’t

They gon’ tweet about it. Go tweet about it.

Don’t think they know, but they say they saw…CROW ripped out his larynx because Unique did not like that voice.

Twitter – @Dame_Unique: They don’t know about us, they don’t know about it. 😈

Don’t think they know, but they say they saw…CROW set alight a bull, in broad daylight. #AnimalAbuse They tweeted.

Don’t think they know, but they say they saw…CROW peck away at the bulls burning ankles.

Don’t think they know, but they say they saw…CROW toss away bits of charred flesh, seagulls gather and fought over the scraps of bull. But dare not interfere with CROW.

Don’t think they know, but they say they saw…CROW devouring the bull’s midsection. They swore that with every bite he grew a few more inches.

They gon’ tweet about it, go tweet about it.

Twitter – @Dame_Unique: Don’t listen to what people say, they don’t know about my life VS my reality

Crow: Hey B

📸: Pixabay

I see you most days and I wanna gut you and spread your vegan filled intestines across the forest I filled with bagels.

[Unique is on amber]

The moment her mind thinks ‘yes,’ I’ll be there for you; for your depressed aura and your lying lips. I imagine peeling them from your face slowly, then throwing them out for the owl to scoop up a snack during nightly ventures.

I see your social media activity. BULLSHIT!

Don’t you close your eyes.

Crow: The Burning Bush

When the LORD saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, “Moses! Moses!” And Moses said, “Here I am.” – Holy Bible

The flames raced around the perimeter of the bush, some leaves burnt to a crisp, but others stayed alive and green. As the random burning parts of the bush went from green to brown, to black and then grey. A small black ball was noticed – it appeared to be rocking from left to right.

I once heard that if you hear a burning bush call out to you, that you should run away as fast as you can. If you can’t run, then you should pray! Pray for the heavens to open up and wash away the irritating flames.

     I mean, some people suffer from asthma and others feel their eyes burning when smoke floats by. I mean in a world of social media, who wouldn’t stop to film a live stream of a man named Moses, talking to a burning bush?

God calls out again, ‘Moses! Moses!’ and once again Moses answers, ‘Here I am.’

The black sphere appears to grow, and a whisper is faint but clear, ‘Here I am, here I am, how do you do?’ Moses steps back and asks, ‘God, is that you?’ But God’s reply is broken up and all he hears is, ‘Moses! – Don’t! – Unreal – Bird.’

The whisper then mimics the word of God, but this time it’s even louder than before. ‘Moses! Moses!’ the flames burn blue and new leaves begin to bud. The black-feathered ball grows 15 more inches, his shiny beak now peering out the bush. Moses shouts one last time, ‘Here I am!’

Crow pushes his smooth black head through the blue-flamed burning bush and squarks back at Moses. ‘I asked you, how do you do!’ His wings now stretched but seem to be extending, they look about a metre long. Crow looks around and then turns back to Moses, he lowers his gaze and whispers, ‘And your God said serve Crow.’

Unique pokes Crow’s stomach then rolls her eyes and faces the rest of their visitors, ‘Whenever someone asks his age, he tells them this cheesy story about when he met Moses.’ Some people laugh, others move away from the BBQ, they’ve noticed the blue flames making everything tender.’

Crow: The Green Light

Once upon a time, there lived a crow, with sapphire blue eyes and black feathers you know.

Crow lived with a woman, a woman with blue hair, she met a man with blue eyes – that was it, love was…there?

Fast forward, fast forward, keep going…wait!

He lied to her.

He lied again and some more.

The woman was fragile and her heart broke even more.

Crow watched her at night, every night she cried.

One day Crow flew out and returned with a pair of blue eyes.

Encased in crystal with a green glow shining through.

I recognised those eyes, I recognised you.

The subtext to this is something you can’t see.

Crow gifted me your vision, so now you’ll only see me.

The woman you mistreated and lied to on occasion.

Images outside a green light, your eternal vacation

Forgive Me, Maybe?

I do what I do because I listen to my heart and trust my mind.

I did what I did because I knew you were a black hole in my life.

I jumped out of the plane you flew into the sun.

I landed on a field of pineapples.

My arms ached but I picked myself up.

I know it’s unusual, but I witnessed your burnout.

Crow appeared and witnessed me witnessing your demise.

My dimples are gleeful on my face.

You were always a fucking disgrace!’

Crow asks if I want to watch your demise over. I spoke with no words, of course, he knows what I’m thinking. And for 33 more times, we watched as your plane crashed into the sun.

We heard your screams.

We told no one.

We spoke about breakfast, on our way home.

Crow: Bravo

Did you hear the story about the bird that flew high above the clouds?

He woke up early in the morning a few days ago and said, ‘Today I shall exceed the limit of the sky.’

A few pedestrians saw a black feathered ball fly high into the sky, one person thought it was a UFO.

When Crow returned home, he placed a rock on the kitchen table and explained, ‘Unique, I plucked this from a crater on the moon.’ I was about to congratulate him when I saw a beautiful blue eye blinking from the base. ‘I saw that horrible fucking cunt who swore at you, remember Unique?’

I had remembered. I had visited the supermarket to purchase some essentials; self-raising flour, oat-milk, oats, spinach, granola and apples. I waited outside at two metres distance between the person in front of me and the couple standing behind me.

     I entered the supermarket and followed the one way only route, to navigate the store. Whilst selecting bread (well checking the use-by date,) a hand went right in front of my line of vision. I turned and there was a man now standing in the same space as me. I pointed out that he needs to follow the rules of social distancing, he snorted, ‘I’m only fucking browsing.’ He stepped closer, I stepped back and exclaimed, ‘social distancing!’ he laughed and walked away.

    At the time I remember his beautiful blue eyes! Not as stunning as Crow’s eyes, but lovely all the same. I had never said any of this to Crow.

‘Unique! I found him during his morning run. I pulled him into a quieter street, he kept stuttering something about birds not being able to talk.’

     Crow had hammered ten-inch nails through both arms, removed his lips and removed a stunning eyeball from its home. Flew to the moon, carved out and small rock; returning home just in time for dinner. ‘You should’ve heard him trying to cry without a tongue.’ Crow hopped around our kitchen table bobbing his head left and right, sticking his little black tongue out screaming, ‘I’m so…sor…sorr…so…sorreeeeee!’

     It’s difficult to covey the tremendous volume from Crow’s voice through this text. I mean, he’s this lil blackbird, a bird that speaks English. He stared into my eyes and said, ‘Unique, your eyes are so pretty. Brown eyes remind me of tigers, and I love tigers.’

He places the moon fragment with its super-glued picturesque eyeball on our windowsill. I plate up and for a brief moment, I glance at this original decoration – I could’ve sworn the eye moved.

Under the Rock

From Under the Rock

Intuitively, I’ve thought about people who I no longer associate with. They’ve crossed my mind lately, as I was the one that cut them off and walked away.

This decision ranges across a variety of different events/scenarios; however, the reason remains the same, ‘I’m responsible for my happiness.’

Please note: I hold no remorse over the above, for I am happier and more relaxed. *Yes, I closed friendships where I believed at the time; it was one that will remain forever. I’m sure it’s common for many of us to think of those that no longer exist within our lives. I know factually that I’m not the only one. Some of the objects that were strong connections to those people, I’ve discarded; I don’t like to keep negative energy sources around me.

Why? You may ask. Or you may assume I’m a selfish person? Either way, your opinion on my choices bare no attention from me. However, I will construct a form of an answer?

People who are overly negative, inherently toxic, stagnant or outright duplicitous, I remove myself from their lives. – I don’t have the energy to be mystified with negativity on the continuous rotating ring of hell.

I wish Rona aka COVID-19 would fuck right off, but I must point out the insight they have given to me. I hear from those who genuinely care for me in this weird time.

Those that don’t care, I won’t ever hear from, but neither will you.

The cockroaches and cretin from under the rocks are coming out in full force. ‘Hey Unique, long time no see! How are you? You crossed my mind today.’

It’s beautiful how our minds work, we are all the same, yet we are all intricately different. Only, we are linked in ways we are still learning.

Questions form as I ignore the calls.

Delete the messages.

Spam the e-mails.

‘Do you miss me, really?’

‘Is this the social version of the last supper?’

In this life, I keep repeating the above actions.

In that alternate universe, I pour lava over the rocks that rumble and Crow sings a sweet song.


I heard your rhythm and ignored your flow. I still ignore it.

Your heartbeat was special Crow once said. So much so, I permitted him to pierce through your chest.

Like a torpedo of war, he flew up at the chance – slid through you as you presented, you had no chance.
     ‘To hide that is!’ Interjects Crow with glee.

     ‘To hide from Unique, as you’ve only just met me.’

Out your back protrudes a beak, followed by your beat and a little black ball.

407 metres high he flew before he dropped your beat like the shit you kept on going.
‘How long did he say?’ Shouts Crow from a dark cloud.    ‘I’ve made it rain crimson Unique.’
   ‘Crow, my love, I’m so proud!’

With a final thump, your beat splats near my feet. I take my right foot and rub your final beats deep in.
‘Concrete!’ Screams Crow. ‘That’s where you belong! No room for nonsense in Unique’s world, no room for shitty beats in my song.’

‘Belated Happy Birthday,’ caws Crow with a smile, ‘I love Birthdays Unique, I never miss a beat, that’s not my style.’


Unique, stored hearts in the box.

Pull storms out the sky and pushed them in the box.

Crow spat on the hearts in the box.

Unique tossed sparks in the box.

Crow praised Unique for the box.

Unique tossed notes in the box.

Crow added K to the box.

Unique, sprinkled glitter in the box.

The storm brewed in the box.

Crow whispered curses to the box.

Crow scratched the corners of the box.

Crow backed away from the box.

Unique smiled at the box.

Unique placed her heart in the box.

Unique sealed her heart in the box.

They buried the box in a secret location…Pandora began to grow.