One day common sense caught up with my age and reminded me that you are insular.
I frowned at my reflection in a car window; the car was parked illegally on a double yellow line.
How has it taken me so long?
You’re a vampire that drains my energy store, similar to a lack of iron and B12.
I’m a woman that cares deeply.
Only you actively choose to exploit my good nature and drain me whilst making out that you’re the one suffering.
My Therapist advised me to remove myself from toxicity! He said, ‘Unique, why do you keep allowing that vampire to encourage your anxiety? Increase your OCD behaviour? Or even have them in your space?’
I’m nice, and you know it.
I’m nice, and you take advantage of that fact often.
I’m nice because I always see the good in you. *Disclaimer, the good is part of the delusion that fogs my mind when you’re around.
Recently, I bumped into my peace! It wrapped me up in an abundance of love and sprinkled respect on my name.
The fragments of a heart that you crushed reunited and began to beat.
You will forever be remembered as? Nothing.
You trigger my OCD to scales I’ve never processed before.
You trigger my anxiety beyond this realm of emotion.
You trigger tsunamis of stress; often, I’m drowning – I call your name, and you can’t hear me dying. You’re too busy living up to your name.
Wow! What a year it has been, the good, the bad, the dangerous? Cast aside to my think bin.
I set a few goals, a bit of this, and some of that; nothing has made me happier than writing. Though, after another 12 months of trying to play catch-up and not having the time to complete all I know I can. After 12 months of consideration, I have decided to take a break from blogging – it won’t be forever, just until June 2022.
I want to thank every one of you for supporting and inspiring my life. 2021 has been quite the challenge, and I officially recognise, I need to take a step back from this and focus intensely on my main goal. Of course, I will continue to read other blogs and show my love and support for my fellow Creative Writers – But for now, Crow and I shall fly through the skies in the hopes to return to you in two thousand and twenty-two.
I am lying in bed, allowing my thoughts to fuel my anxiety.
I’m feeling a great deal of stress today, so forgive my absence. I think my phone will be turned off most of the time.
No one understands the pressure and expectations. No one appreciates that I’m one woman – I need a hug, not a demand.
The majority of my time is spent doing things for others. Many vultures circle my life, waiting to pick at my essence when I’m not 100%
E.g. I volunteer between work/research – I wasn’t available yesterday, as I was working. The organiser sent a rude email about ‘why?’ I replied articulately, and she apologised. **Why is there a sense of entitlement around the gifts I bring to those around my circles
What a time it has been so far; I’ve been restless with my thoughts and lacklustre with my writing—November of a month of planning and preparing but failing to execute everything.
I’ve listened to an array of audiobooks but did not complete the chain by reading paperbacks. Often I feel guilty about that, for I have a vast collection of creative pieces written by amazing people. Yet, I pass them by each day and note the new layer of dust each week.
At the end of November, I accepted that I had not written due to a mental blockage. Instead, I’m riddled with self-doubt and overcome with stress and fear of failing. It appears I have been struggling for months, and I need to break free to thrive and flourish.