One Year

This time last year I was being lied to. I trusted this person and they lied to me. For months…at the final hour, they departed my life.

 Piano Sonata No.14 Beethoven plays as I type.

They then tried to keep hold of aspects. It was a challenging moment, but I managed to free myself from all detrimental scenario(s.)

They tried to keep hold of what they lacked without my presence. 

This time last year I felt these negative vibes – I ignored them in exchange for temporary details.

     Burning red flags presented themselves at every turn. I fanned them away, in favour of something amazing? Like I said, this person had my trust!

This time last year, I danced with deception and flirted with fakery. 

The impact

  • They’ve permanently lost my confidence in their ability, to be honest, and show integrity.
  • I can’t comprehend why I ignored the inferno that roared inches from my body.
  • Our universe will raise them up and at their pinnacle moment of self-actualisation cracks will deepen into graves for their bounty of happiness.
  • I’ll pay my respects with a single hemp seed.

Update

  • private & confidential.
  • My circles are trustworthy.
  • My life is abundant in love.
  • All red flags are acknowledged.

Future Scope

  • We will never see one another again.
  • We will never correspond in any way, shape or form.
  • When the last petal falls and they burn away the facade, I won’t hear the formation of a river from painful tears.

  Legacy

  • They ignited this insatiable thirst. I drink deeply, daily!
  • I’m grateful for the double-edged sword they used to slit gaps in my circulation. I can’t stop the bleed – vampires wait to be fed. They present lies in exchange for life.
  • Private and confidential.
Featured

Crow: 100 Followers

📸Unique

     ‘Unique! Guess what day it is today?’

     ‘Sunday the 12th of July.’

     ‘But Unique, guess what day it is today?’

     ‘I’ve just guessed.’

     ‘Try again!’

He opens the blinds in my bedroom and although it’s 0444 the sky is pitch black.

I blink a few times and then rub my eyes.

     I noticed his sapphire blue eyes are gleaming now, Crow is happy. Elated in fact. I slip out of bed and say, ‘what happened the sun?’

     ‘Unique, don’t you know what day it is today?’

     ‘Crow, sweetie, I’ve already told you – Sunday the 12th of July 2020’

I then wink at Crow and head into the bathroom. I’m guessing I’m imagining the blackness outside. Maybe the time is wrong, and I’ve been woken up in the middle of the night? Either way, something is off today.

I brush my teeth.

I squeeze a large portion of coconut shower gel onto my navy-blue washcloth and wash away the night before.

A fine ballad of tweeting reverberates through our home and shakes the blueberry candle, just a little.

I dry off, dress and apply the perfect layer of Ruby Woo by Mac on my lips.

I enter the kitchen and look around for Crow. He’s not here – he’s usually eating bagels by the time I finish getting ready. I glance outside and see that it’s pitch-black. I check my watch and see the time is 0722. The sun is usually out by now.

I walk cautiously out into the hallway and slowly open the front door. The sweet song from above is utterly divine. I’m looking up and above my house is a? Well, what looks like a giant-size sheet of? Black. I walk down the driveway and hum along with the blackness above me. I recognise this tune, only I’ve never heard it in this manner. Piano Sonata No. 14 Beethoven

The shape above me looks like a triangle, off in the distance I see sunlight and at the very front of this black triangle, I notice a glint of blue.

The blue moves forward, separating itself from the shape. And there I realise Crow has grown – at a guess, he’s 3 metres long and his sapphire blue eyes are the size of Granny Smith apples.

He swoops down toward me, shouting, ‘UNIQUE GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS?’

I smile as he lands right beside me, his jet-black feathers blowing the last few shower droplets out of my sapphire blue braids. I stroke his left-wing and whisper, ‘we now have 100 followers!’

Crow squawks to the black plume above and that’s when I see a murder of 100 crows breakaway from one another and release blue sparkly words of love and appreciation.

They then disperse and fly away in different directions, across our universe.

Crow and I stand at the end of our driveway and salute all of you!

Thank you.

Love

Crow & Unique

Crow: The Bake Off

I had been submerged into an acai-berry infused salt bath, that kissed my brown skin with extra sweetness. Cherry scented candles glowing upon my windowsill and blending delights through the air when I heard the smoke alarm going off.

I enter the kitchen and I’m smothered by a plume of smoke – Crow has the oven door open.

     ‘Unique, I thought I would treat you to some cake, but I became too engrossed watching Money Heist on Netflix.’

     ‘Sweetie, this does not smell like a treat!’ I stretch over his little head and open all four windows. I heave and push my head out of one. ‘Crow, what on earth have you been doing?’

     ‘Baking a banana loaf! It’s all the range during lockdown.’

     ‘I can’t smell bananas.’

     ‘Because I added my own special touches to your recipe, look.’ He pointed a claw to the recipe book on the table.

                3 Very ripe bananas

                110g soft light brown sugar

                2 large eggs

                120ml sunflower oil

                225g plain flour

                1tsp bicarbonate of baking soda

                75g of chopped walnuts

That was what was printed originally – ‘You like my additions?’ Crow cheered as I looked closer at the page.

                3 Very ripe bananas 7 bananas (any kind)

                110g soft light brown sugar

                2 large eggs

                120ml sunflower oil Oil from Leslies liver

                225g plain flour 225g of Mr Bakers charred skin

                1tsp bicarbonate of baking soda

                75g of chopped walnuts 75g of chopped nuts from selfish men

I put on the oven mitts and waved away some of the smoke. I picked up the cake tin and carefully placed it onto the glass worktop saver.

As the smoke clears, I see a bubbling ball of? Well, I don’t know what it is. It looks disgusting.

Crow flies over and lands on my right shoulder and says, ‘ladies first.’

I turned to the sink and threw up.

Thoughts On: A Married Mans Story – K. Mansfield

“Tell me – do you think physical beauty is sp very important? I don’t like to think about how often she rehearsed that question. And do you know what I answered? At that moment, as if at my command, there came a gush of hard bright sound from the band. And I managed to shout above it – cheerfully – ‘I didn’t hear what you said.’ Devilish wasn’t it? Perhaps not wholly. She looked like the poor patient who hears the surgeon say, ‘It will certainly be necessary to perform the operation – but not now!’ pg. 7

This short story by Katherine Mansfield reminds me of the way many of us approach our relationships. We act! A lot of the time; surprised, shocked, sad, happy, pleasured. That list could go on and on and on.

     Rather than just be ourselves and express our natural reaction to something – many of us plot away scenarios. We dream of the outcomes, which more often than not are visuals that everything works in our favour.

     Only, in reality, we have no control over the actions of others – Yes! We can influence people, close by and those that you’ll never meet or even know of their existence. But you have no control over their reactions/actions/behaviours.

This story resonates with me quite a lot: the need to please your partner, the desires for validity without explicitly asking for reassurances. The weird intrigue, trying to understand the way your partner thinks? I chuckled to myself, as both characters reminded me of the past and my random approaches to things within a relationship.

     I’ve learnt a lot throughout life and I don’t doubt it will be useful in my future. I know deep down I’ll keep in mind the times I chose stupidity over normalcy. I’m sure my love life will grow rich with knowledge and bare fruits of gratitude, for the power of love.

Inside

You never know what people are going through behind the scenes.

Sometimes your thoughts take you down blind roads. You feel warm but you’re scared.

You try reaching out to people you once deemed as trustworthy but they’re focused on their lives – you no longer meet their requirements.

Confidence is broken.

They’ve moved on.

You’re abandoned, you feel your heart beating and you want it to stop!

You want to lay there in bed and understand what you did wrong?

You feel alone.

They’ve gone.

Your fragile heart is broken and your mind full.

Ignored because you’re faulty.

Like drugs, you consume more and fuck up your perspective.

You make comparisons and you conduct a study.

You don’t comprehend the results, because everything points toward your favour.

Only you see red.

You imagine your absence to be peaceful.

Featured

Reading Plan: July 2020

As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. I only endorse products that I use personally and have something positive to share with you all.

It is now July 1st 2020!

Reflecting over the previous month, I admit to myself that I haven’t read as much as I had intended.  I felt awful, as the only way to improve my writing is to read more – and I’ll be the first to admit, my writing is treacherous.

I have a few collections of short stories and it was hard to choose which one I shall use in the challenge I’ve set for this month. However, after careful consideration I went with The Story Love, Loss & the Lives of Women – 100 Great Short Stories Chosen by Victoria Hislop

Please feel free to join me on my reading journey, I welcome your comments below.
PS: Attached is a PDF copy of which stories I’ll be reading each day.
Enjoy!
Dame Unique

📸 Dame Unique

Cold Nation

📸 Unsplash

Cold Nation

Walk by the beggars that beg; maybe it’s for drugs? Maybe it’s for alcohol?

We can’t hear them.

News: The government say they have put aside millions of pounds to house the homeless during the coronavirus pandemic.

Viewers – Aww, that’s brilliant.

Walk by beggars who ask you to spare some change. They’re probably spending it on drugs and my money isn’t going to a crackhead.

Let’s get in the queue for McDonald’s, we haven’t had Maccys in weeks! We deserve a treat.

‘Spare some change please Luv?’

Sorry, I only have my card on me.

‘God bless you.’