Tag: Choices

Salty Saturdays: Could Give a Fuck 29.05.2021

It was what it was; I was right on the mark!

I said this; I said that – the shit I spoke was pure. But you added salt on a bitch and called me wavy. You acted like you were a God of some mad world and what you spoke was gospel.

You’re a messy bitch.

You step up and into my spine, the leverage you needed at the time to start a new chapter.

Fuck it! I’m burning slow.

I could give a fuck about your life.

I’m the embers you forgot about when you skipped on grass that ain’t greener than my lawn.

The life that flourishes here won’t ever be over there.

Stay back; I don’t want your ashes to fall near me. However, I will stand in awe of your rotten soul fading away into nothingness.

Salty Saturdays: Excuse Me! 27.03.2021

Salty Saturdays: Excuse Me

He visited her house on a Friday night, 3 out of 4 Friday nights.

Usually, she has prepared dinner and scented candles sparkle throughout the open space.

Only on Thursday night, she received a notification from her friend who was out shopping in Tesco!

A short video came through showing a handsome man, laughing and joking with a young boy. If they were the same age you would assume they were twins. With the age difference, you can assume they have some form of relation to one another.

The woman in the video picks up some plant-based milk and shows the man. He kisses her head and thanks her for wanting to try it out with him.

The clip ends with the little boy screaming, ‘DADDY! Can we have pancakes tomorrow for breakfast, again? Please!’

Last night he visited her house. Please remember that last night was Friday night.

Although she unlocked the door and let him in, she wasn’t particularly welcoming. She backed away from their usual 5 minutes of kissing on her doorstep. She strode into her kitchen and began to wash the dishes with some lemon-scented liquid.

He closed the front door and entered the kitchen.

Wrapped his arms around her tiny waist and kissed her along the right-hand side of her neck.

She was aroused. But annoyed. She dropped the sponge into the suds and dried off her hands. Walked away and into the living room, picking up a glass of red wine that was waiting close by the remaining contents of a red bottle of wine.

He asked if she was okay?

She looked at him and turned her head away. She reached for her phone and then pressed play on the video.

He recognised the voices and simple said, ‘excuse me, I need to use the loo.’

As he walked slowly up the stairs to the bathroom, he considered the following:

  • Is the sex that good to deal with an argument and get back in her good books?
  • Dionne is less stressful to deal with but has that fat cat all in the bedroom.
  • Shannon is a great cook though and I love everything she whips up, especially for ME!

He reaches down to push the flush button, runs the tap briefly but doesn’t wash his hands.

Runs downstairs and leaves.

After finishing the last bit of wine, Shannon heads slowly upstairs in floods of tears. She enters her beautifully white bathroom and as she steps closer to the toilet, she feels her feet slide a little. She looks down and sees a large puddle of piss, with remnants all around the toilet seat, toilet lid and on the small white rug she has in the middle of the floor.

The Coin

In my pocket

I had £1 in my pocket. Left pocket, coat pocket.

I held it tight.

‘Spare some change please love?’

But what of this love? Who’s love? I don’t love you. You don’t know me. I’m walking by, right past you.

I reply, ‘sorry, I don’t have any spare change.’

What of spare change? Who has spare money? How would one define spare?

‘God bless you.’

What of this God? Why does he not bless you with the spare change you seek? Why do you ask for the change from strangers, when God is known as ‘all-mighty’ and women are seen as weak?

My coin is now hot.

My pocket is toasty and warm.

My mind wonders if God will return and save you, from your likelihood of doom.

Bah! Humbug!

📸: Unsplash

Bah Humbug!

December is the month we indulge and be indulged, overeating roasted flesh and vegetables that accompany the dish.

We like to spend!

We like to spend what we have.

We like to spend what we don’t have.

TREAT YOURSELF!

Scream the lights hung up inside windows of our local ‘Highstreet.’ We hate being told what to do, but we are obedient when those lights tell us what to do.

Bah Humbug!

To the one use only Christmas jumpers – Yes! I know you felt you would get your wear out of it. But you say this every year, and every year you buy a new jumper. Donating £2 no £3 to the Christmas Jumper day charitable event.

Which as some say, ‘every little helps.’

How much did you spend on gifts this year?

Ooh! How much have you spent on food?

Don’t worry, you donated a few cans of chickpeas back in March to your local food bank. That’s alright, someone will benefit from your out of date donation. What did you say you’re having for Christmas dinner again? Ah! Let’s recap.

Starters

  • King prawns roasted in garlic butter laid on a bed of lettuce.
  • Sweet Thai chilli chicken, served on bruschetta.

Main

  • Roast Turkey/Chicken/Lamb/Salmon/Duck/Pig
  • Roast potatoes
  • Various vegetables – Must have sprouts
  • Pan-fried bits of bacon
  • Rice
  • Lashings of gravy
  • Stuffing balls

Pudding

  • Apple-pie
  • Apple Crumble
  • Christmas Pudding
  • Jam Roly-poly
  • Ice cream

A general idea of what some families have on Christmas day

It’s sad. We do so little to help those less fortunate – I’m not knocking your mini donations, a £1 here or a £1 there. ‘Every little helps.’ How much did you say Christmas dinner costs?

Christmas Day, one measly day out of the entire year. I use the term measly because it’s a day where the many are for themselves, and the few go on to suffer…

Bah Humbug!

Indoors overeating and eating, feeling full and still eating. Some people in receipt of gifts and tweeting their disgust, ‘I didn’t ask for this! I wanted that!’

Tis the season to be jolly.

You deserve all your heart desires and more. Let’s not think about the homeless this season. You received £600 worth of gifts. But that’s not enough! You expected more, you’re worth more.

John received a meal and a pair of socks, which was a gift from a charity.  On Boxing Day the 26th of December, most of the nation will be battling their way through the sales. Indulging even more.

There exists a plethora of reasons why I don’t like Christmas, and overindulgence is my primary one. It’s like we are a world of split-personalities. On the one hand, we infrequently feel charitable and donate from time to time. What is £1 compared to £600? Well it’s £1 more than £0

     I wish the month of December weren’t so commercialised. That we helped one another willingly and showed gratitude genuinely. It’s tiresome seeing the fights recorded the day after Christmas.

Our world is being destroyed by our own destructive choices, our indulgence in consumption and our lack of care for others.

“Heal the world

Make it a better place

For you and for me

And the entire human race

There are people dying

If you care enough for the living

Make it a better place

For you and for me”

– Michael Jackson

Who Do You Love, Are You Sure?

Photo credit: Pixabay

Before

I fell in love with a man that ticked all the boxes.

My list went on forever, about a meter in length, Time New Roman, font size 10.

He lived alone, knew how to drive and earned a decent wage. Our first date was near the beach, and it all began with a wave – Hey Unique.

I had high expectations, which he met and surpassed. He was health-conscious, earth-conscious and his positivity was unmatched.

Did we ever fall in love? No. But I was sure then he was my happily ever after.

After

I fell in love with a man that externally was a catch for all.

My list was crippled by my internal anxiety. I told myself I was never good enough for him.

I made sure I was there.

He drove, cycled, owned his own apartment, cooked, earned a wealthy wage and was polite.

He made me believe I was never good enough, by the silence he often bestowed. He used to pick me up so high, love me and drop me like a bag of plastic tossed into the sea.

As I’m sinking, I see his menacing glare, but before I’m fully submerged, he would pick me up and embrace me. He would hold me so tightly, felt like he would never let go.

My expectations bounced from one end to the other – this man loves me? No. We just fucked like passionate lovers.

Who Do You Love, Are You Sure?

‘Who do you love, are you sure?’ – LL Cool J

We love one another, we sometimes love ourselves.

We’ve loved many others, before and after tales.

Emotions are draining and powerful at the same time, emotions are unpredictable, and even then, they’re all beautiful.

I was sure about before, I was sure about after, now in my future, I look back, and I’m past that.

I loved him then, and there ever after. That was at the time, I knew nothing past that.

Currently

I became friends with a fellow creative, we both adore the art of writing.

Infrequently exploring the universe together, amidst our surrounding circles of blended passion and lightening.

 Our bond is beautiful, and I must tell you so, I know I love this man and I know, he’ll never know.

‘I wish we met years ago!’

I wish the same things too.

Writing these words right now, and I only want to correspond with you. ‘I do.’

I’m as sure as my heart beats, I know my emotion so. I’ll always be here for you and my words you should know.

To build a connection, created from our starlight, our universe is ours, and forever we shall illuminate.

Who do I love? You, my love.

Are you sure? Unconditionally.

Who do I love? Blue, I love blue.

Are you sure? Like the depths of the ocean.

Who do I love? You, I love you.

Are you sure? Yes.

Who Do You Love, Are You sure?

iRead: Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe

Was it possible they heard not? Almighty God! – no, no! They heard! – they suspected! – they knew! – they were making a mockery of my horror! – This I thought, and this, I think. But anything was better than this agony! Anything was more tolerable than this derision! I could bear those hypocritical smiles for no longer! I felt that I must scream or die! And now – again! – Hark! Louder! Louder! Louder! Louder!

“Villains!” I shrieked, “dissemble no more! I admit the deed! – Tear up the planks! Here, here! – It is the beating of his hideous heart!” – The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe

 

Our sins

Many of us spend a lot of time depleting our energy, over situations we have caused. We plummet our thoughts into a downward spiral of negative thinking. We slap the blame upon the heads of those around us, but we never take ownership of our ‘own’ actions.

Why do many of us select the option to remove others, rather than to naturally and wisely, remove ourselves?

Think for a moment about all the times a situation has occurred, and we do the following:

  • Broadcast it to others (remember we’re involved in the events unfolding.)
  • Omit the part we played that caused this to happen.
  • Highlight to the masses that ‘I’m so shocked and angry!’ But fail to own up to how we are the cause.

 

Why do we choose, yes, choose! To inflict pain and suffering onto others? Why not simply remove ourselves from the situation and live our best lives?

I want you to remember that in the short-term, you may wish to fulfil the urge and push through with your negative actions. However, I must remind you that the ‘same’ actions/choices will bring on the same results. Your negative actions will wink at you like the evil eye, and you’ll forever be tethered to your own negative assumptions.

You have the choice, the option the awareness to walk away from negativity. You have the option to redirect your energy into positive opportunities.

Spotless Mind

I was listening to Spotless Mind by Jhene Aiko earlier.

Change is inevitable
Why hold on to what you have to let go of?
Like, did I really break your heart?
Was it all my fault?
If you don’t knock it off
You know like I know where this was headed
I’m a wanderer
I’m a wanderer, baby
I’m a wanderer
I’m a wanderer

 

It made me think about how I sometimes approach parts of my life. I’m naturally analytical and often think about ‘all possible’ outcomes before deciding to take action. And usually, the effect is that I do nothing.

But as the first line highlights, ‘Change is inevitable.’ Meaning no matter what you choose to do in life, Change is inevitable. You can choose whether or not you wish to participate. However, if you don’t join, time goes by, and you miss out on experiences and experience in life.

The next sentence, ‘why hold onto what you have you have to let go of?‘ Infrequently I fear to let go of things, that I have become accustomed to. I often think about ways in which I can hold onto something, just in case the new situation, leads to failure.

However, I’m learning that sometimes you have to just cut things out and walk over to the next. You can’t live your life in fear of living! Be bold, be courageous and live your best life.

Simply put, there is no point in roaming around/online venting about all the negative strands of your life. ‘You know like I know where this was headed.‘

Go out there and be a wanderer, nourish your needs, wants and desires. Irrigate your confidence and cultivate a spotless mind.

Unique