Mask On! Fucking Mask On!

In the 1900s* the United Kingdom drafted men between the ages of 18 and 40, to fight in the war. I think it’s fair to assume that many of these men and their loved ones, feared for their lives.

Fast forward to 2020 and the UK Government has asked that all of us:

  • HANDS – Wash our hands for at least 20 seconds.
  • FACE – Wear a face covering to protect yourself and others from contracting/transmitting COVID19
  • SPACE – Maintain a distance of at least 2 metres, where possible.

Log onto social media platform and you’ll see people complaining, about having to wear a face covering. I mean, when I first saw the barrage of complaints, I thought? We’re not being drafted to fight in a war! We are being asked to cover part of our faces, for our health and safety.

A few days after, I visited my local supermarket and a random person walked in shouting, ‘The Government are liars! They want to keep us in a muzzle, its all a lie COVID19 is fake!’ They weren’t wearing a mask on and stomped around the store, with no respect for the social distancing measures in place to protect.

I don’t like wearing a facemask, but I wear one to stop myself from spreading coronavirus – as science educates us and has advised, we can be asymptomatic and transmit this virus. I wear a facemask to minimise the chance of contracting the virus from others. I repeat I do not like wearing a facemask, but I wear it to do my bit and help limit the tragic loss of life.

It’s like the ones who don’t give a fuck about others, will continue to ignore the guidelines and flaunt it online. #SayNo2Muzzles #NoMask

I know some of you reading this may find my next few sentences utterly abhorrent. However, I feel I must say this, for all those that feel a mask should not be worn, they should sign a waiver.

I must pay for a coronavirus test if I feel I have symptoms.

I do not deserve to be treated if I test positive for coronavirus/I will pay for treatment if I test positive for COVID19

I believe that these people won’t ever take this seriously until a family/friend gets the virus and it proves to be fatal.

Equally, I do understand that for the majority of the UK, we’ve been in lockdown since March 20th 2020. Feelings of restlessness and upset are beaming out and we are tired of this ongoing critical global issue.  However, the longer we have people ignoring all the safety measures in place, the longer it will take to reach the end of this crisis.

We are experiencing unprecedented times, yes! We ALL are going through it together. Please recognise it only take one #Covidiot to inspire masses of anti-maskers to ignite the spread and kill more people.

Again, I do not like wearing a mask, but I wear one for the sake of humanity.

In the 1900s* the United Kingdom drafted men between the ages of 18 and 40, to fight in the war. I think it’s fair to assume that many of these men and their loved ones feared for their lives.

‘Heal the world.
Make it a better place.
For you and for me.
And the entire human race.
There are people dying!
If you care enough for the living.
Make it a better place.
For you and for me’ Michael Jackson

Snakes Invade my Space

Snakes Invade my Space

They wear suits.

They appear friendly.

They stab your soul and act as you’ve harmed them.

Their lies are accepted by those who look akin to their reflection.

They wear burgundy, they dress professionally.

They spread lies – faster than coronavirus.

They breed and multiply, they outlive the good ones. It’s like they never fade away and die.

Snakes slither around my feet, acting weak and in need like their life is deep and unseen by Unique.

They don’t strike out and bite into my Achilles muscle. They slither back and report I stomped on their heads. The slither by again, slower than the first time, they smile as they’ve successfully poisoned the ignorant heartbeats, within my space.

A group of snakes can hiss the same shit, they can do that daily. This does not equal the truth being reiterated by one.

 A pit of snakes slid through my path, they tricked the masses and smiled at me during the process. Upon reflection, I now realise your life was never more than an insignificant birth.

Cold Nation

📸 Unsplash

Cold Nation

Walk by the beggars that beg; maybe it’s for drugs? Maybe it’s for alcohol?

We can’t hear them.

News: The government say they have put aside millions of pounds to house the homeless during the coronavirus pandemic.

Viewers – Aww, that’s brilliant.

Walk by beggars who ask you to spare some change. They’re probably spending it on drugs and my money isn’t going to a crackhead.

Let’s get in the queue for McDonald’s, we haven’t had Maccys in weeks! We deserve a treat.

‘Spare some change please Luv?’

Sorry, I only have my card on me.

‘God bless you.’

A Gradual Ease


No socialising, no socialising. I forbid you to fucking socialise.

2 Metres, 2 metres no more than 2 metres.

1 metre and 2 bubbles! Oooh, pub crawls from July 4th. The rest of your educational year is still prohibited.


RIP, ‘Thankfully, only a few hundred people have died since last week.’

‘Remember, to wash your hands!’


I hate Rona’ just as much as anyone else. But Rona’s presence has caused me to start over – I now go jogging/running at least 3 days a week.

  • I read more (guess I miss being able to visit the library.)
  • I value the little things more! Far too many to list.


Crow Knows Virus

From the files of Crow

I sneezed on a train earlier today, and people looked on in horror and disgust.

I had sneezed into my tissue, my Kleenex tissue, my menthol double-layered Kleenex tissue.

I saw the Dark Lord appear.

He hopped from a fat person’s fat head to an anorexic’s knee and said, ‘Tell me, oh! Tell me, how does one identify the Coronavirus?’

I sneezed again and folded my tissue around my nose, for snot had peeked out and well, I suppose, nose-wiping is permitted.

The crowd ignored the Dark Lord. The flabby man raised his scarf over his mouth.

‘I’m told by God that the flu kills more people each year than Corona. But you filthy fuckers scorn Unique! Was a black man not lynched the other week? Is there not a war being fought overseas? Didn’t good old Mrs Smith from Chiswick die from heart failure?’ He tilts his little head to the side and sees a woman with red hair, squeeze hand gel onto her hands, rubbing them vigorously together and then rubbing it over her face.

Our Dark Lord Crow stops the train; a few wrists are broken in the process. The red-haired woman falls onto her back, Crow glides down and perches on her disinfected face. ‘So tell me,’ he whispers, ‘how does a mortal know the difference between the flu and its cousin the Coronavirus.’

The red-haired lady stutters, from her view, all she can see is the ass of a blackbird. ‘The news, news said, said that, that you can catch it from infected people.’

‘So you’re telling me Unique is bad bacteria?’

‘No, but, but she sneezed.’

‘So you’re telling me Unique has the coronavirus?’

But before she could answer our Dark Lord Crow, turned to face her and hurled out the most disgusting sneezed ever witness on board a train. It was a blend of the usual snot and mucus. But it also contained rotten bits of bagel, congealed blood and a small piece of a rats tail. Once he finished sneezing, Unique knelt and wiped his face with a baby wipe. Kissed his little head and said, ‘time to go home now.’

He glared at all the other passengers before infiltrating the announcement system, ‘CROW KNOWS VIRUS, CROW KNOWS VIRUS.’

They both returned home and enjoyed a discounted bottle of Corona beer.