That was the first feeling I felt after reading this man made a video apologising for sextin’ underaged boys.
I’m still wondering why his channel is still active? Why people are still following him?
Why he hasn’t been quote on quote ‘cancelled?’
Why he hasn’t been arrested?
Why he hasn’t been charged?
Why he hasn’t been punished for his crimes against young boys?
Why he hasn’t received custodial sentencing?
It’s like if you’re popular and your poppin’ you’re more likely than not, to have your criminal behaviour exonerated from the pop culture before authority does anything if anything.
CHILD ABUSE IS CHILD ABUSE
SEXUAL ABUSE IS SEXUAL ABUSE
A PAEDOPHILE IS A PAEDOPHILE
A CRIME IS A CRIME
A CHARGE IS A CHARGE
AN ARREST IS AN ARREST
That apology was dead upon exiting that mans mouth.
We could call it whatever we like, essentially we set the rules surrounding our lives.
Our relationship has intensified in areas we did not expect.
Burning questions, life lessons and stealth deception.
We dreamt of becoming the couple that wins at everything. Only we end up losing because neither of us accepts the fact that we aren’t like the pictures we post up on our social media platforms.
#BAE
We dare not part, for the blogs would type and the users would read, the creators would make memes and our lie would be free!
That’s why each week we pencil in a day, well a block of time for us to try and reach and match our still images of happiness with reality.
He visited her house on a Friday night, 3 out of 4 Friday nights.
Usually, she has prepared dinner and scented candles sparkle throughout the open space.
Only on Thursday night, she received a notification from her friend who was out shopping in Tesco!
A short video came through showing a handsome man, laughing and joking with a young boy. If they were the same age you would assume they were twins. With the age difference, you can assume they have some form of relation to one another.
The woman in the video picks up some plant-based milk and shows the man. He kisses her head and thanks her for wanting to try it out with him.
The clip ends with the little boy screaming, ‘DADDY! Can we have pancakes tomorrow for breakfast, again? Please!’
Last night he visited her house. Please remember that last night was Friday night.
Although she unlocked the door and let him in, she wasn’t particularly welcoming. She backed away from their usual 5 minutes of kissing on her doorstep. She strode into her kitchen and began to wash the dishes with some lemon-scented liquid.
He closed the front door and entered the kitchen.
Wrapped his arms around her tiny waist and kissed her along the right-hand side of her neck.
She was aroused. But annoyed. She dropped the sponge into the suds and dried off her hands. Walked away and into the living room, picking up a glass of red wine that was waiting close by the remaining contents of a red bottle of wine.
He asked if she was okay?
She looked at him and turned her head away. She reached for her phone and then pressed play on the video.
He recognised the voices and simple said, ‘excuse me, I need to use the loo.’
As he walked slowly up the stairs to the bathroom, he considered the following:
Is the sex that good to deal with an argument and get back in her good books?
Dionne is less stressful to deal with but has that fat cat all in the bedroom.
Shannon is a great cook though and I love everything she whips up, especially for ME!
He reaches down to push the flush button, runs the tap briefly but doesn’t wash his hands.
Runs downstairs and leaves.
After finishing the last bit of wine, Shannon heads slowly upstairs in floods of tears. She enters her beautifully white bathroom and as she steps closer to the toilet, she feels her feet slide a little. She looks down and sees a large puddle of piss, with remnants all around the toilet seat, toilet lid and on the small white rug she has in the middle of the floor.
For a long time, I held on like super-glue on the minds of the dumb and reckless.
I gave birth to resentment and fed jealousy all the nonsense it needed to thrive.
I processed negative thoughts and entertained deception.
I blended life with extra drama and gave hate a glorious reception.
Today I write this to let you know, that today is the day I let old pain go.
I searched deep within and located blue notes of fortune.
I played back the tune and remembered the connection I once shared with you.
The tune went over and through my existence. I feel warm and excited at releasing my stubborn resistance.
I miss you, I love you and this post ain’t no joke!
I wish we could reconnect and remain connected this time. I pushed you and pushed you away at the time. I was a tyrant to our growth – I feared having hope.
I accept that part was wrong and I should’ve stopped when you spoke.
Anything good in my life I don’t believe it, you see.
I poke it and prick it and build walls around me.
I feared being happy, as you made me happy so much so. There were shit times, you were shit at times – all acknowledged and I’ve let go.
Back then I did what I felt was right.
I pushed you away and set our bond on fire. I retreated to my safe space and watched memories burn away.
I apologise.
I’m sorry.
If you ever call I’d say, ‘It’s okay. I understand.’
I love you and I’m sorry we never remained friends.
I know in my heart we were bought together to educate specific areas of my life.
I know in my soul that were it not for your presence, I would never have levelled up!
You may never reach out following our last conversation. However, if you did? Know I’ll be happy to hear from you.
I may never contact you in this world. However, take comfort in the fact that I want to.
I’m in a place where my thoughts are valued and my points are understood. I’ve found a space for my creativity to thrive and for my heart to expand with joy.
I have a bounty of gratitude I reflect upon daily.
Our initial bond gave birth to a whole new universe and I’ll forever remain dedicated to the gift. Your role in this has been noted and tears have fallen.
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