I don't write. I create.
Crow kicked the ball; it rolled and rolled.
Crow kicked the ball, and it rolled.
The meat inside had lied. He lied!
Crow kicked the ball, and it rolled.
The softball lied.
Gas was lit beneath, and Crow danced and danced.
Strike the match and dance some more.
Crow kicked the ball, and IT cried.
Crow kicked the ball, and it screamed.
Crow kicked the ball, and it died.
And just like that, sense has prevailed, and the fog has dispersed. You should’ve made it clear, my dear. You should’ve been truthful. 📵 ‘Fuck that liar! Fuck his friends and fuck his bitch.’ – Life Mantra
I arrived late on Wednesday and was upset.
I walked into an unoccupied room and let the tears flow to a man I don’t have much respect for – a man who has treated me like shit and stepped out of his role into a cloud of ignorance.
I was crying due to a range of emotions festering in my mind. After all, who wants to listen to the negative aspects of your life? Like, I am going through a lot right now, and my head was about to explode. Surprisingly, it helped. Thank you.
Then followed the slurry of colleagues asking more than once, ‘are you okay?’
I had not slept in over 24 hours, and my body felt like shutting down. My eyes flickered shut on the cusp of five-minute intervals, and I struggled to complete my shift. I understand some people have good intentions; however, after I have answered you twice! Why would you ask another three times?
Sometimes, you should read the space and mind your business.
Regards,
Unique
Thursday, 19 January 2023
14:07
I returned to work on Tuesday after taking one day off sick due to poor mental health.
I had people who don’t usually communicate with me outside of work, sending unsolicited messages—asking questions under the guise of concern.
On Wednesday, one said to me, ‘Are you okay? Because you don’t seem yourself!’
Me: ‘Yes, I’m fine, thanks for asking.’
Idiot: ‘Are you sure? Because you don’t seem yourself!’
Me: ‘I’m fine. Thank you.’
Idiot: ‘Are you sure? You just don’t seem yourself at all. I’m here if you need anything. If you need to talk, I mean, I’m, I’m right, here okay.’
Me: ‘I’m fine. Thank you.’
I mean, a return to work was completed with my Line Manager, So why do others feel they are now competent enough or even wanted in my personal space? Why do they feel entitled to know why I was off work? Even when I’ve politely shut the topic down, they still push for information.
I could not wait to get out and finish my shift. Yes, there are many obvious reasons for being employed. However, self-employment is the true path for me.
Others say they mean well; they’re just looking out for you. But I never ticked a box to say, hey, I accept nosey fake doctors in my life. We’re not even close like that – never have been, never will.
In addition to the above, I would not have returned if I did not feel ready, nor would I disclose my reasons for being off sick. In short, leave me the fuck alone.
Kind regards
Unique
Two nights ago, I dreamt about the meaning of the word vulnerable.
I realised I had misunderstood the meaning of the word. I was out by pages.
I stood up and apologised in the only way I knew best – through writing.
I have spent another twenty-four hours ruminating over the word’s meaning and actions.
I mean, I’m not the most intelligent form of existence.
You feel vulnerable with me.
What is happening is a fine blend of elements that take time to create.
Wax seal over the opening.
Shards of glass at my feet cut through my feed and create feuds of the heart and mind.
I remember the last time I smiled. At the time of composure, I cry. Maybe in another life, things wouldn’t be so tough? Perhaps friendships would mean what they do on the tin?
I get it; I do. To flow nicely in this world, my mind needs to be shut down. Only I respect my thoughts more than my sanity.
From the moment I understood my plight until this arduous second – I understand I walk alone to a destination unknown.
Wow! What a year it has been, the good, the bad, the dangerous? Cast aside to my think bin.
I set a few goals, a bit of this, and some of that; nothing has made me happier than writing. Though, after another 12 months of trying to play catch-up and not having the time to complete all I know I can. After 12 months of consideration, I have decided to take a break from blogging – it won’t be forever, just until June 2022.
I want to thank every one of you for supporting and inspiring my life. 2021 has been quite the challenge, and I officially recognise, I need to take a step back from this and focus intensely on my main goal. Of course, I will continue to read other blogs and show my love and support for my fellow Creative Writers – But for now, Crow and I shall fly through the skies in the hopes to return to you in two thousand and twenty-two.
With love,
Dame Unique
I am lying in bed, allowing my thoughts to fuel my anxiety.
I’m feeling a great deal of stress today, so forgive my absence. I think my phone will be turned off most of the time.
No one understands the pressure and expectations. No one appreciates that I’m one woman – I need a hug, not a demand.
The majority of my time is spent doing things for others. Many vultures circle my life, waiting to pick at my essence when I’m not 100%
E.g. I volunteer between work/research – I wasn’t available yesterday, as I was working. The organiser sent a rude email about ‘why?’ I replied articulately, and she apologised. **Why is there a sense of entitlement around the gifts I bring to those around my circles
Sometimes I need space from everyone.
Sometimes I need a break from my thoughts.
Sometimes I need a Tuesday to be alone.
📵
❤️
I love you all. I need some time…
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How I long for the cog that turns and triggers a new system!
For an income appreciative of the god-like blessings I bestow on many lives around.
Yes! My status is minus.
-Love
-Time
I’m in the red.
Sometimes I wonder why my success is determined by your happiness?
Be free. Explore. Remember.
Hello December!
What a time it has been so far; I’ve been restless with my thoughts and lacklustre with my writing—November of a month of planning and preparing but failing to execute everything.
I’ve listened to an array of audiobooks but did not complete the chain by reading paperbacks. Often I feel guilty about that, for I have a vast collection of creative pieces written by amazing people. Yet, I pass them by each day and note the new layer of dust each week.
At the end of November, I accepted that I had not written due to a mental blockage. Instead, I’m riddled with self-doubt and overcome with stress and fear of failing. It appears I have been struggling for months, and I need to break free to thrive and flourish.
Today is the day I will restart the chain!
Goal: Write 100 words per day.
Unique
We disagreed and argued.
We spat fire into the eyes of the other.
I boiled, you bubbled, and we burned one another.
The next day my eyes wept, and your mind seeped until we formed a solid understanding.
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You split your heart in half and made love to me.
I accepted my half and consoled you.
You gave me time and memories I’ll cherish forever.
I told myself that…
Sometimes, some things are best left unsaid.
I wipe away the 76th tear of the day.
I told her, I warned her, I pleaded, ‘do not go!’
I blocked out the sun so that only night would show.
I set the streets on fire and smoked out her journey.
Unique went anyway. She had left early.
Returning with a smile, she beckoned my time to listen.
Listen!
‘I will not allow another period to pass, for purity to consume my vision and you to walk freely.
I promise you, from your mind, I’ll ensure you bleed deeply.’
– Crow
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