I don't write. I create.
I confess I’m a narcissist. I need to hear what I already know.
But I need you to say it, and even then I won’t go.
I must hear it from your lips, in your voice, your accent, even in a whisper.
Tell me how amazing I am!
Tell me now and tell me so.
Stroke my colossal ego and then fuck off. GO!
Blow up to the sky, to wish upon a star.
I know, not forever.
I run slow but walk far.
I chase the tinkle from afar.
I feel the cold air upon my lips.
I press them onto you because the goodbye fits.
Sugar poured through my DMs with offerings of joy and money.
Sugar said, ‘Unique, I want you!’
Sugar said, ‘decide now or never?’
I licked my lips and pondered about sending sexy pics. But how many pairs of boobs are available on Google?
Sugar sprinkled around my DMs offered sweet talk but no therapy.
I deleted his messages.
‘I wish I had met you years ago!’
Said the man that claimed to love me so.
Back to the whore of his child’s mother, he spoke.
Silently, longing to choke!
YOU!
Crow peered into your beautiful eyes and said, ‘my dear child, they’re almost as beautiful as mine. You should never have lied!’
Years ago wasn’t the right time.
I left the room, thus leaving you to cry, for a broken heart, was never truly mine.
Goes by and eventually a week turns into forever.
I’m precious don’t touch me.
I tell you often you literally make me feel so small.
My life is a subscription to you.
I’m a notification on silent.
I’m a hashtag for the archive.
While you play God with an Atheist.
If this is depression, this is YOU.
If this is insanity, this is YOU.
If this is a complex onslaught of emotions, then this is my final day here on Earth.
I cry real tears.
You drain me and I try.
You act and I believe the show.
You manipulate and like a newborn lamb, I listen.
I’m done.
Off.
Like cows milk rotting away in an office fridge.
Like stale bread that begins to foam.
Like my line that you keep calling.
To love you before.
What does that look like online?
Mute.
Block.
Unfollow.
Follow with a promise then unfollow.
A silent DM.
A plethora of likes for you to notice?
@ followed by a beg ‘please, follow me!’
#SincerlyYoursStan
PS: I get you!
I know no one famous.
I piggyback on my own back.
I’ve never taken anything offered. Actually, all that you provided was fake.
When did your words come into fruition?
I’ve never sat at a free desk and completed a piece.
You lied then.
You lie now.
Please leave a message at the tone.
Dress up, because dressing down is impossible for you.
Pose for the cam.
Post on the gram.
Hashtag I am and credit yourself as a somebody.
Surrounded by opportunity, I do not envy you.
Influence me bitch and live your life as a star.
I had Pringles for breakfast call me Fatso.
I told a lie last month. I’m no Pinocchio.
I bled for five days. I’m human.
Let it be known I have no time for you.
Only time for the process for you to fade away.
Cremation is my preference too.
I have no friends.
Only faint memories of interactions I once had with some.
I want you to picture me overeating and gaining weight rapidly.
I want you to imagine I Smell like bullshit and I don’t try to mask it with pleasantries.
Dream about my life, a life of wasted potential. I am wallowing in a bottomless pit of sadness.
I want you to wish hard that I’m crying and my heart pines for yours.
I want you to believe your actions were inconsequential, but spot on.
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