Out of Office: 19.01.2023

Thursday, 19 January 2023

14:07

I returned to work on Tuesday after taking one day off sick due to poor mental health.

I had people who don’t usually communicate with me outside of work, sending unsolicited messages—asking questions under the guise of concern.

On Wednesday, one said to me, ‘Are you okay? Because you don’t seem yourself!’

Me: ‘Yes, I’m fine, thanks for asking.’

Idiot: ‘Are you sure? Because you don’t seem yourself!’

Me: ‘I’m fine. Thank you.’

Idiot: ‘Are you sure? You just don’t seem yourself at all. I’m here if you need anything. If you need to talk, I mean, I’m, I’m right, here okay.’

Me: ‘I’m fine. Thank you.’

I mean, a return to work was completed with my Line Manager, So why do others feel they are now competent enough or even wanted in my personal space? Why do they feel entitled to know why I was off work? Even when I’ve politely shut the topic down, they still push for information.

I could not wait to get out and finish my shift. Yes, there are many obvious reasons for being employed. However, self-employment is the true path for me.

Others say they mean well; they’re just looking out for you. But I never ticked a box to say, hey, I accept nosey fake doctors in my life. We’re not even close like that – never have been, never will.

In addition to the above, I would not have returned if I did not feel ready, nor would I disclose my reasons for being off sick. In short, leave me the fuck alone.

Kind regards

Unique

Vulnerable

Two nights ago, I dreamt about the meaning of the word vulnerable.

I realised I had misunderstood the meaning of the word. I was out by pages.

I stood up and apologised in the only way I knew best – through writing.

I have spent another twenty-four hours ruminating over the word’s meaning and actions.

I mean, I’m not the most intelligent form of existence.

You feel vulnerable with me.

What is happening is a fine blend of elements that take time to create.

Wax seal over the opening.

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Until June 2022

Wow! What a year it has been, the good, the bad, the dangerous? Cast aside to my think bin.

I set a few goals, a bit of this, and some of that; nothing has made me happier than writing. Though, after another 12 months of trying to play catch-up and not having the time to complete all I know I can. After 12 months of consideration, I have decided to take a break from blogging – it won’t be forever, just until June 2022.

I want to thank every one of you for supporting and inspiring my life. 2021 has been quite the challenge, and I officially recognise, I need to take a step back from this and focus intensely on my main goal. Of course, I will continue to read other blogs and show my love and support for my fellow Creative Writers – But for now, Crow and I shall fly through the skies in the hopes to return to you in two thousand and twenty-two.

With love,

Dame Unique

Welcome December 2021

Hello December!

What a time it has been so far; I’ve been restless with my thoughts and lacklustre with my writing—November of a month of planning and preparing but failing to execute everything.

I’ve listened to an array of audiobooks but did not complete the chain by reading paperbacks. Often I feel guilty about that, for I have a vast collection of creative pieces written by amazing people. Yet, I pass them by each day and note the new layer of dust each week.

At the end of November, I accepted that I had not written due to a mental blockage. Instead, I’m riddled with self-doubt and overcome with stress and fear of failing. It appears I have been struggling for months, and I need to break free to thrive and flourish.

Today is the day I will restart the chain!

Goal: Write 100 words per day.

Unique

Welcome September 2021

Welcome, September 2021!

I’ve been dreading your arrival and now you’re here, I want to embrace you and remind myself that I need to put in the work. There was so much I had wanted to achieve in August and unfortunately, I did not.

Even yesterday, I confided in a friend and expressed that I feel like I have failed. They then asked, why? I explained I had set many goals for August and unfortunately, I barely achieved anything.

Less of the dwelling.

It is now September and as you would be right in assuming that I’ve carried over the unmet goals and I’m currently amending my weekly planners, as I strive to see the result of all my endeavours.

I aim to visit a few places I have never explored before and to spend a few hours in a cosy, café. Oh, yes! I almost forgot I’m going to complete the leisurely reading that I started in August and tease out areas of inspiration and motivation, for new creative pieces.

September is about rejuvenating my focus and practising an hour of deep work per day. After all, looking back and feeling sad about what I did not accomplish, won’t change the fact.

Therefore, I must continue on my pathway and sweep the sticks out of the way.

Unique