Salty Saturdays: Excuse Me! 27.03.2021

Salty Saturdays: Excuse Me

He visited her house on a Friday night, 3 out of 4 Friday nights.

Usually, she has prepared dinner and scented candles sparkle throughout the open space.

Only on Thursday night, she received a notification from her friend who was out shopping in Tesco!

A short video came through showing a handsome man, laughing and joking with a young boy. If they were the same age you would assume they were twins. With the age difference, you can assume they have some form of relation to one another.

The woman in the video picks up some plant-based milk and shows the man. He kisses her head and thanks her for wanting to try it out with him.

The clip ends with the little boy screaming, ‘DADDY! Can we have pancakes tomorrow for breakfast, again? Please!’

Last night he visited her house. Please remember that last night was Friday night.

Although she unlocked the door and let him in, she wasn’t particularly welcoming. She backed away from their usual 5 minutes of kissing on her doorstep. She strode into her kitchen and began to wash the dishes with some lemon-scented liquid.

He closed the front door and entered the kitchen.

Wrapped his arms around her tiny waist and kissed her along the right-hand side of her neck.

She was aroused. But annoyed. She dropped the sponge into the suds and dried off her hands. Walked away and into the living room, picking up a glass of red wine that was waiting close by the remaining contents of a red bottle of wine.

He asked if she was okay?

She looked at him and turned her head away. She reached for her phone and then pressed play on the video.

He recognised the voices and simple said, ‘excuse me, I need to use the loo.’

As he walked slowly up the stairs to the bathroom, he considered the following:

  • Is the sex that good to deal with an argument and get back in her good books?
  • Dionne is less stressful to deal with but has that fat cat all in the bedroom.
  • Shannon is a great cook though and I love everything she whips up, especially for ME!

He reaches down to push the flush button, runs the tap briefly but doesn’t wash his hands.

Runs downstairs and leaves.

After finishing the last bit of wine, Shannon heads slowly upstairs in floods of tears. She enters her beautifully white bathroom and as she steps closer to the toilet, she feels her feet slide a little. She looks down and sees a large puddle of piss, with remnants all around the toilet seat, toilet lid and on the small white rug she has in the middle of the floor.

I Blocked the Bitch!

I blocked the bitch.

I blocked the bitch.

I stopped the bitch.

I locked off the bitch.

I dropped the bitch.

Cut off the bitch.

Read the bitch and shocked the bitch.

Keep your one sided activities, ignorant mindset and lack of complete narrative. I don’t need any of it.

The understanding that you are who you are: means that I’ll always grow being true to myself.

Malefic Mondays: The Barking Stopped

Once upon a time, a scruffy dog used to bark and bark and bark, all day long.

One night after tossing and turning in bed, the neighbour next door – the one that smiles at the dogs’ owners every day and has never expressed his annoyance about their cute little dog. Took some slices of ham out of his fridge and went quietly into his back garden.

The dog saw him and through the joy of familiarity, wagged his tail excitedly and watched carefully as this friendly man hopped over the fence with some slices of succulent, honey-glazed ham.

The neighbour tossed a slice and the little dog jumped up and caught it.

The neighbour tossed a second slice. Only this slice landed right by the neighbours left foot.

The cheerful (now quiet) but excited dog. Trotted over to the neighbour, and bent down to eat another tasty treat.

The neighbour knelt and looped a cable tie around the dog’s neck.  At first, the dog yelped in horror, but seconds later the little squeals came to an untimely end. The neighbour cut the cable tie, picked up the limp dog and placed him gently into his kennel.

The neighbour hopped back over the fence. Back into his house, into the bathroom to wash his hands and then with a delightful smile across his face, he drifted off into a deep sleep.

Throw Money

At the bitch who acts like she knows shit but needs you to survive.

At the one that knows shit but would rather leave you to cry.

At the other, that takes more than they’re due.

At the stank looking one, who claims that they’re looking out for you.

At the people of people who’s people know people in need.

At bricks and mortar because every bitch needs a deed – for free.

At your habits, bad habits, needy fucking issues.

At a box of Kleenex because every dick needs tissues.

Disconnection

📸: Pixabay

No arguments.

No additional information.

No reminders.

No pleas!

No statements.

No subliminal memes on my status updates.

No cryptic tweets.

No hashtag.

No handwritten letters.

No obvious notion.

No phone call.

No smokescreen.

No emails.

No screenshots.

No reminiscing.

No dreams about cutting you up into tiny pieces, seasoning you with a pinch of salt and a cup of pepper and feeding you to a murder of CROWS.

*I simply blocked and deleted your connections to me.

Rain

📸: Unsplash

With my tears, I could flood a whole city.

I always paid attention to you.

April 22nd I cut that lifeline.

I cut you out of my life.

I was your line.

Emotions poured out like a river running wild, transforming into a tsunami and breaking the rules around love and the living.

Cascading through the area and hoping the glue melts away.

I held you up and gave you my energy.

You floated away and came back with new sight.

I see not your blue eyes.

I see not your grey eyes.

I see not your green eyes.

I can’t stop this!

I need to explode, rather implode on myself. I’m expressing today, I’m expressing.

At my knees, my tears caress my calves. The fragrance is cherry…I used to kiss you with cherry flavoured Carmex.

I lay on my bed and feel my tears submerge my thoughts.

9 times out of 10 I’m in my feelings…

With the negative memories you left behind, I lift the roof off my home and let the tears of the hurt ones pour in like rain.

I’m weighed down to the bed as my heart is heavy and drowning in memories seems fitting.

Attention

Up! Two, three, four – Where the fuck is your girlfriend?

Why do your tears clog my drains?

What happened this time?

Where did you say you were again? Ah! Yes, you were floating away on cloud 9.

Bitch better get off my back.

Release my fucking hope! Stop clinging onto to me like the worthless piece of fucking shit you are.

One! Two, three four – Where the fuck is your lifeline?

Fall off my fucking boat! – Stop shouting for help and crying for the Captain.

Up! Two, three, four – Unique is not here no more.

Five, six, seven, eight – Unique is strong, and Crow is great.

Nine, ten, eleven, twelve – Crow made me happy, and I no longer dwell.