Untitled – 22.09.2021
The times have changed and I have refreshed.
I know I don’t need you.
I believe I don’t want you.
I wish I could forget you.
Only, seeing your potential fade right in front of me cements lifelong memories in my mind.
I want you to know that I have grown.
On a Tuesday
For a long time, I held on like super-glue on the minds of the dumb and reckless.
I gave birth to resentment and fed jealousy all the nonsense it needed to thrive.
I processed negative thoughts and entertained deception.
I blended life with extra drama and gave hate a glorious reception.
Today I write this to let you know, that today is the day I let old pain go.
I searched deep within and located blue notes of fortune.
I played back the tune and remembered the connection I once shared with you.
The tune went over and through my existence. I feel warm and excited at releasing my stubborn resistance.
I miss you, I love you and this post ain’t no joke!
I wish we could reconnect and remain connected this time. I pushed you and pushed you away at the time. I was a tyrant to our growth – I feared having hope.
I accept that part was wrong and I should’ve stopped when you spoke.
Anything good in my life I don’t believe it, you see.
I poke it and prick it and build walls around me.
I feared being happy, as you made me happy so much so. There were shit times, you were shit at times – all acknowledged and I’ve let go.
Back then I did what I felt was right.
I pushed you away and set our bond on fire. I retreated to my safe space and watched memories burn away.
If you ever call I’d say, ‘It’s okay. I understand.’
I did nothing.
I’ve done nothing.
I’ll do nothing.
Karma has you, hung, strung and burnt alive with ice.
Nightmare Series: Unique Is…
A total mindfuck.
A wink and a stare.
Your best friend, who lifts you high into blissful moments.
Your lover, your one and only! A cherry kiss from her red lips.
A quiet thought with a pinch of care.
One wrong move and Crow will gut you, right after or just before you ask God for forgiveness.
Unique is this thing that flourishes in your life.
Unique is an amazing thought process, wrapped up in pain and anxiety.
Don’t ask her to choose, life is full of commonplace varieties.
NEVER ask the opinion of everyday society!
Don’t stare too long, Crow will tear you from out of that seat at their table of peace. For one cannot dream of what Unique is, without something good to eat?
Unique is a mixture of warmth and ice, like cookie dough and ice-cream with added observations.
No cinnamon sprinkles, it’s fucking disgusting.
Unique is a plethora of stars made into human form.
Unique is living remnants of our universe from way back when.
Keep asking questions.
Keep watching your shadows.
Did you know, Crow prefers homemade banana bread?
Complete with heartache and suffering and that bitches ignorant head!
Unique is your bestie! Your homie beyond death you’ll never part.
Unique is pure mind-games, surreal like Dali art.
Unique is present, past and your future.
Unique is your tears as they profusely flow.
Unique is the end game and that is no joke.
Crow is listening to your thoughts.
Unique is above average in fact beyond the range of online surroundings.
Unique is Pandora’s Box in a misunderstanding.
Unique is the gift of lava burning through your soul.
Unique does not exist in this world, therefore you’ll never know.
Remember to close your windows and lock your doors, the evil one flies through the night…
Nightmare Series: Pain
I’m, I’m Unique.
I’m in pain.
Because you stabbed me.
I’m bleeding out.
Remember our first kiss?
I’ve been feeling pain, trying to hold on.
I tried. Albeit haphazardly.
But when is it right to wanna end my existence?
The only thing I did wrong was choosing you to rest my heart on.
Let it be known that I truly believed that together we would be phenomenal. Only you don’t think you deserve a woman as amazing as me.
At the fall of my last tear, you turn your back and begin to cry.
Regret is your mindset.
Pain Series: Perplexed
My heart going wild within my chest.
Everything is a mess!
There’s no escape.
I shudder at the endless variations on the next event. I fear failure and a steel tent over my need to communicate.
I feel faint…I…
_we both know what was said during that conversation. Your title holds little weight with outside communication. I don’t know when I don’t know how but I’ll find you in the future.
I’ll open my eyes and gut your soul, placing an end to our contention.
Pain Series: The Stained Glass Heart
At first glance on a bright sunny day, the colours consume you, in awe, some may say.
Through the core of a black woman, radiating pure love.
Incomparable to the rings around her, due to hatred from eyes self-positioned above.
Educate all and any along the way.
Allow the strength of your soul to shine through, your stained glass heart, always.
Pain Series: Dark Thoughts
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Pain Series: Inactive
There are times I’ve deleted whole conversations, in an attempt to forget the hurt they’ve caused.
Imposed a block on social media, to hide away from emotions exposed.
Laidback and did nothing, to try to forget.
Permeated through bedsheets, fear had me losing sleep.
Inactive is my status, so you experience no notion of my turmoil.
You created this.
You caused this.
You impressed this.
You developed this.
You strangled my words with this.
I lay still as a baby lamb 4 hours after being slaughtered.
Fuck how I feel – it’s all apart of your culture.
Pain Series: No Remorse
Once I let go,
I let go,
I let go.
In an instant, I would push your soul into an active volcano.
Pain Series: Separation
My mind is awesome for the same reasons it’s not.
Memory x Detail x Accuracy
Pain upsets me.
Are my thoughts distorted?
Is this the start of my downfall?
Am I operating on notion?
Pain opens me up, I convulse and I transmit. What/who/when did this pain commit?
Times I’m distraught are the times my rage is caged. It’s all in my head and I hate to say this, but I’ve come close to…
Pain Series: It Must Be
Strange how I hold on to pain. I dispel it throughout my writing and relive nightmares again.
The car was operated from the rear left wheel. It was a whole mini car as a stand-alone piece.
I remember every word.
Images are too vivid in my mind.
It’s the fear I felt at the time, the emotional hurt.
The Pain Series by Dame Unique
Welcome to mid-October!
Over several days I’ll be sharing creative pieces from The Pain Series.
After preparing a post for World Mental Health Day and abandoning it, then preparing a new one. I thought about the times I’ve felt pain in my life and how I’ve dealt with that emotion.
During my time reflecting this weekend, I felt inspired to produce a mini-series on pain. It’s an emotion in life that we are all destined to experience. I can’t tell you how many times, as it will differ for each of us. However, I felt compelled to put PAIN into words and creatively articulate this emotion.
No one in our entire universe is absolved from pain. It forms a vital part of our lives and shapes our behaviour from that moment forward.
To me, pain is painful and sometimes that pain becomes a burden that overstays, long after its point has been made. Some moments in my life came unexpected and it’s true, I’ve cried a hundred times over, to no avail.
This October, I share the pain born from life itself.
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