Before

I fell in love with a man that ticked all the boxes.

My list went on forever, about a meter in length, Time New Roman, font size 10.

He lived alone, knew how to drive and earned a decent wage. Our first date was near the beach, and it all began with a wave – Hey Unique.

I had high expectations, which he met and surpassed. He was health-conscious, earth-conscious and his positivity was unmatched.

Did we ever fall in love? No. But I was sure then he was my happily ever after.

After

I fell in love with a man that externally was a catch for all.

My list was crippled by my internal anxiety. I told myself I was never good enough for him.

I made sure I was there.

He drove, cycled, owned his own apartment, cooked, earned a wealthy wage and was polite.

He made me believe I was never good enough, by the silence he often bestowed. He used to pick me up so high, love me and drop me like a bag of plastic tossed into the sea.

As I’m sinking, I see his menacing glare, but before I’m fully submerged, he would pick me up and embrace me. He would hold me so tightly, felt like he would never let go.

My expectations bounced from one end to the other – this man loves me? No. We just fucked like passionate lovers.

Who Do You Love, Are You Sure?

‘Who do you love, are you sure?’ – LL Cool J

We love one another, we sometimes love ourselves.

We’ve loved many others, before and after tales.

Emotions are draining and powerful at the same time, emotions are unpredictable, and even then, they’re all beautiful.

I was sure about before, I was sure about after, now in my future, I look back, and I’m past that.

I loved him then, and there ever after. That was at the time, I knew nothing past that.

Currently

I became friends with a fellow creative, we both adore the art of writing.

Infrequently exploring the universe together, amidst our surrounding circles of blended passion and lightening.

 Our bond is beautiful, and I must tell you so, I know I love this man and I know, he’ll never know.

‘I wish we met years ago!’

I wish the same things too.

Writing these words right now, and I only want to correspond with you. ‘I do.’

I’m as sure as my heart beats, I know my emotion so. I’ll always be here for you and my words you should know.

To build a connection, created from our starlight, our universe is ours, and forever we shall illuminate.

Who do I love? You, my love.

Are you sure? Unconditionally.

Who do I love? Blue, I love blue.

Are you sure? Like the depths of the ocean.

Who do I love? You, I love you.

Are you sure? Yes.

Who Do You Love, Are You sure?