
Purification – 29.09.2025

I don't write. I create.

‘I’ll miss you now, but you’ll miss me the rest of your life.’ – Rosie
Today, she gave herself permission to let go.
Though she felt completely dead inside, she knew that her weakness was the source of all her pain.
Today, she allowed her heart to open up and become the target. Her mind regurgitated memories of the lies he sang to her in the form of a unique connection and emotional bond.
Today, she created an opportunity for him to reassure her mind. Instead, he doubled down on his deceitful behaviour, and she sensed a hint of pleasure in his goodbye. It was akin to being bitten by a venomous snake and having the power to cure the heart. Choosing to smile in the face of someone who unequivocally valued you, prioritised you, and though you promised you’ll never hurt her.
Your smile beams, glancing at the antidote and her life fading in…three, two, one.
Admittedly, the tears she created today were nothing in comparison to before. Her gift forced her to see the truth even before she was ready.
Her heart told her to stay and continued to pour into a non-existent soul.
May she treat herself with kindness and stop wishing she never existed in such a heartless world. May her mind stop mocking her emotional intelligence and laughing at her inability to connect with a good man. May her memories stop belittling her luck, with constant reminders of all the red flags he stitched right before her.
Today, she gave herself permission to let go.
She cried for forty-four minutes, switched the track to 16 Carriages by Beyoncé, wiped tears from her face, blew her nose, then sat back in bed and asked our universe for peace of mind.

The way your lips move when you speak has always fascinated me.
Let’s be real; no one is interested in you.
The way your fingers twitch when you tweet, and your voice wails out.
Let’s be real; no one cares about you.
The way you lie and you lie, and you gaslight and lie and reverse over a swan you ran over earlier. Then you fall asleep. Wake up and swear to your God that you’re innocent, and you hate how witnesses are reporting your crimes.
You cry out like a bitch to the feds about how your traits are on the line here, and you don’t think it’s fair that the news is printing eyewitness testimony.
After all, you know you’re innocent, right?
Let’s be accurate; you think what you think, and even the truth has no space in your life. So your head has you spinning, allegedly.
You make up shit and assume that the editor is spending time pouring gold on. She knows nothing about you, to write about you. However, past and present witnesses have the mic and the timeline of deceit, and most importantly, they can attest under oath that you regularly attack swans.
Crow chants out at 1800; your body bears witness to all your violent crimes.
Your lips move and echo your lies, with tears and pain on the hour. You snarl and snigger at your brilliant ways of manipulation. You play victim so well, yet you hold the knife perfectly, not even bothered about cross-contamination; you raise, and you stab. You stab, and you twist. You twist and assign blame, stating, ‘Your response made me do this.’
Then you hide your weapons, you cry wolf and explain to the authorities that you were attacked! Your character was defamed, and your traits were contaminated.
Crow now perches on my left shoulder, and he plucks a prawn from my portion of King Prawn egg fried rice with the soya-ginger sauce in a small dipping bowl.
We are silent in this space.
One of the surviving swans makes a statement that coincides with witness testimony.
You scream out, ‘I’m innocent’, as the detective finds evidence to prove you’re a liar.
Liar.

‘That’s not fair!’
‘What about life, is?’
You are there as a suppressant. I listen, I ingest, I digest.
My limbs aren’t getting me out of bed.
My eyes keep filling with tears and releasing streams down my face. My lips part, but my vocal cords are stiff.
My brain is screaming at me. Trapped beneath layers of your lies. Your deceit is fueled by my decline, nourished by my fear of growth. Yet you foolishly compare ‘accomplishments’ to credits you will never earn.
Crow shall not hide away.
Crow will not seal his beak.
Crow will never stand down.
Crow is forever.
Unique will not bend and serve.
Unique shall paint with every hue of blue.
Unique will speak through twisted coherence, and those who disobey will lose inexplicably.
Yes, I will console and consider. However, Crow will fly, and my voice will blend into everything.
There’s no escape.
Cry, cry, baby.

Tonight
My head is tired.
My thoughts are on high-speed.
Abandonment is painful.
Everyone goes, eventually.
Trust is costly, and time is a trait of age.
I’m frozen with the memory that my writing was admonished for expressing my feelings. I’m cold with the thoughts that I thought you would never behave in this way.
Even knowing my trauma, you opened the curtains and re-enacted one of the worst things anyone has ever done in my life.
He saw I was down, injured by shards of misinterpretation. No! Misrepresentation! The information was ambiguous and clearly indicated a meeting.
I bled out, and he asked, ‘What are you up to?’
Then left me there for 24hrs.
Thankfully, I managed to get help. Miraculously, I survived the night. Regrettably, I sent a text. Notably, it went unanswered. Lazily, one word was sent in response. Secretly, I pondered over my next move.
I’m awake now. I reckon I’ll be okay. My new scars cover old scars, hiding my love for the unknown and perhaps the inconsiderate.
Tears are there, and a great escape is pending, but I push back. Well, step back. This is too much.
Now he’s gone.













You went on like you forgot to buy condoms.
I acted like it was okay! I didn’t want a piece of latex to ruin our moment in time.
My period was late.
My period never arrived.
I tested positive.
I cried.
I waited for what I thought was the right time to tell you and you offered to book me into a private abortion clinic.
I hadn’t reacted and you assumed I agreed with your offer.
When two people declare love and love has been shown, one can’t help but imagine that whatever comes their way, they will face it as one.
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