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Goodnight

Anxiety

It keeps pulling up over the years and tries its best to drag me down.

If I smile in your presence I’m truly delighted.

The processes have me seduced by the flow. The many flows, within veins I’ve never thought to go.

Exploration of cavities can lead me to race through the darkness in my mind.

Toxins, disguised as love, always catch me by surprise.

I fear the dark side, yet my arms remain open.

I cringe at the nightmares that invade my day-dreams.

I shudder away from all signs of love, as I sense evil within loves true meaning.

Anxiety

It keeps comin’ thru’ like an old flame burning bridges. Like a snake in unicorn skin, only I see the ridges!

The diagram you place before me isn’t accurate, to say the least.

Deep in your eyes, I see jealously and bewilderment. I see love and comfort entangled around an iron blade. I see the lies you are eager to share, delivered alongside the thorny steams of white roses.

I kiss you then close my eyes.

Goodnight.

Blackout

I’ve been tormented by your silence.

Incapacitated by your love.

Lost time over how you’ve treated me.

Scars on my arms and etched into my mind.

I never asked for this. I only wanted to love and be loved.

When you don’t like an action I’ve taken, you impose an order of silence.

I wait anxiously to discover the consequence.

I lay beside you, awake.

You hold me tightly and whisper.

Inside I’m broken.

Inside I’m broken.

Inside I’m broken.

I wake up and you’ve made breakfast.

You’re happy! You kiss me.

I’m confused.

Did you not?

Did we not?

Did I not?

Your body embraces mine on a sunlit balcony.

I want to feel bliss. But fear races through me.

Why am I afraid of you?

Mrs Pepperdew

📸: Pixabay

Mrs Pepperdew peppered you with spice.

Mrs Pepperdew peppered you how nice?

Mrs Pepperdew flummoxed you each time.

Mrs Pepperdew connected you through rhyme.

Mrs Pepperdew sang to you, with aromatic spices.

Mrs Pepperdew convinced you that you could sing. But Mrs Pepperdew mocked you, as crow swooped in, ripped your tongue out and tossed it into the fire.

It snapped, it crackled, it fizzed, and it banged.

Mrs Pepperdew sang and she sang, and she sang!

I Died First

📸: Pixabay

‪I died 1st‬

‪I woke, I worried, I wondered, I fed.‬
‪I worried more.‬
‪I pondered.‬
‪I identified. I stressed.‬

‪I tapped, I thought.‬

‪I cried. I cried. I imploded, I scowled. ‬
‪I was vex.‬
‪It was a mess.‬

‪You had lied.‬

‪I dispatched our connect.‬

‪She died 1st.‬

‪#Poetry #CreativeWriting‬

What I Learned in 2019

📸: Unsplash
  1. Friendships: I learnt that I don’t need years upon years to call someone a friend. I’ve met some fantastic people this year, and I’m happy that they’re in my life.
  2. Discussions: In 2020, I won’t be discussing the following aspects of my life – love, finances and challenges. I found through talking about such topics, it led to people watering down things and entwining their opinions with that they feel should be my actions.
  3. Advice: This links into the above a little, I won’t be taking any advice on the above. This year, I’ve asked for advice, and it’s all been nonsense. I’ve no time for it.
  4. Time: My time is just that, MINE! Some people have this sense of entitlement as if I owe a debt of time that can be paid back in random instalments. Time is so precious, I know that saying is cliché, but it is true. No longer will I allow my time to be stolen by time thieves, who never seem to grasp that I have no obligation to fulfil their requests.
  5. Creativity: This year, I have tapped into a part of my creativity that has allowed me to produce some amazing pieces. (I’m eternally thankful.) I’ve been writing more and I’m both proud and astonished at the short-stories I have created. Some have taken me months to tease out of my mind and translate onto paper.
  6. Reflection: I have a period of reflection every single day. I think about what goals I have completed and plan for the next day. It helps me to relax, as an introvert, I need to use a lot of mental energy, so reflective thinking is beautiful.

Although 2019 will be over in a few hours, I’m not running away from it. I accept it has been a turbulent year for me and with turbulence comes lessons learnt. I’m taking this knowledge into 2020 and building upon it.

Resolutions?

I don’t make resolutions, as goals I set, I start them the day I set them. No point in waiting for New Year’s Eve, life is never guaranteed.

Thank you all for following me on my creative journey, I shall try to post more frequently and read more. I truly appreciate your continuous support.

Thank you 2019

Unique

xX

Bah! Humbug!

📸: Unsplash

Bah Humbug!

December is the month we indulge and be indulged, overeating roasted flesh and vegetables that accompany the dish.

We like to spend!

We like to spend what we have.

We like to spend what we don’t have.

TREAT YOURSELF!

Scream the lights hung up inside windows of our local ‘Highstreet.’ We hate being told what to do, but we are obedient when those lights tell us what to do.

Bah Humbug!

To the one use only Christmas jumpers – Yes! I know you felt you would get your wear out of it. But you say this every year, and every year you buy a new jumper. Donating £2 no £3 to the Christmas Jumper day charitable event.

Which as some say, ‘every little helps.’

How much did you spend on gifts this year?

Ooh! How much have you spent on food?

Don’t worry, you donated a few cans of chickpeas back in March to your local food bank. That’s alright, someone will benefit from your out of date donation. What did you say you’re having for Christmas dinner again? Ah! Let’s recap.

Starters

  • King prawns roasted in garlic butter laid on a bed of lettuce.
  • Sweet Thai chilli chicken, served on bruschetta.

Main

  • Roast Turkey/Chicken/Lamb/Salmon/Duck/Pig
  • Roast potatoes
  • Various vegetables – Must have sprouts
  • Pan-fried bits of bacon
  • Rice
  • Lashings of gravy
  • Stuffing balls

Pudding

  • Apple-pie
  • Apple Crumble
  • Christmas Pudding
  • Jam Roly-poly
  • Ice cream

A general idea of what some families have on Christmas day

It’s sad. We do so little to help those less fortunate – I’m not knocking your mini donations, a £1 here or a £1 there. ‘Every little helps.’ How much did you say Christmas dinner costs?

Christmas Day, one measly day out of the entire year. I use the term measly because it’s a day where the many are for themselves, and the few go on to suffer…

Bah Humbug!

Indoors overeating and eating, feeling full and still eating. Some people in receipt of gifts and tweeting their disgust, ‘I didn’t ask for this! I wanted that!’

Tis the season to be jolly.

You deserve all your heart desires and more. Let’s not think about the homeless this season. You received £600 worth of gifts. But that’s not enough! You expected more, you’re worth more.

John received a meal and a pair of socks, which was a gift from a charity.  On Boxing Day the 26th of December, most of the nation will be battling their way through the sales. Indulging even more.

There exists a plethora of reasons why I don’t like Christmas, and overindulgence is my primary one. It’s like we are a world of split-personalities. On the one hand, we infrequently feel charitable and donate from time to time. What is £1 compared to £600? Well it’s £1 more than £0

     I wish the month of December weren’t so commercialised. That we helped one another willingly and showed gratitude genuinely. It’s tiresome seeing the fights recorded the day after Christmas.

Our world is being destroyed by our own destructive choices, our indulgence in consumption and our lack of care for others.

“Heal the world

Make it a better place

For you and for me

And the entire human race

There are people dying

If you care enough for the living

Make it a better place

For you and for me”

– Michael Jackson