‘I’m flowing west. To the land of abundance, the space that gives room for unlimited growth. Time is love, and love is an amalgamation of prioritisation. However, my heart likes to speak, and often, I find that the vibrations are the same.’ – Dr Unique
You are there as a suppressant. I listen, I ingest, I digest.
My limbs aren’t getting me out of bed.
My eyes keep filling with tears and releasing streams down my face. My lips part, but my vocal cords are stiff.
My brain is screaming at me. Trapped beneath layers of your lies. Your deceit is fueled by my decline, nourished by my fear of growth. Yet you foolishly compare ‘accomplishments’ to credits you will never earn.
Crow shall not hide away.
Crow will not seal his beak.
Crow will never stand down.
Crow is forever.
Unique will not bend and serve.
Unique shall paint with every hue of blue.
Unique will speak through twisted coherence, and those who disobey will lose inexplicably.
Yes, I will console and consider. However, Crow will fly, and my voice will blend into everything.
I’m frozen with the memory that my writing was admonished for expressing my feelings. I’m cold with the thoughts that I thought you would never behave in this way.
Even knowing my trauma, you opened the curtains and re-enacted one of the worst things anyone has ever done in my life.
He saw I was down, injured by shards of misinterpretation. No! Misrepresentation! The information was ambiguous and clearly indicated a meeting.
I bled out, and he asked, ‘What are you up to?’
Then left me there for 24hrs.
Thankfully, I managed to get help. Miraculously, I survived the night. Regrettably, I sent a text. Notably, it went unanswered. Lazily, one word was sent in response. Secretly, I pondered over my next move.
I’m awake now. I reckon I’ll be okay. My new scars cover old scars, hiding my love for the unknown and perhaps the inconsiderate.
Tears are there, and a great escape is pending, but I push back. Well, step back. This is too much.
No unwanted conversations or snakes burning their eyes out to forget how amazing I am.
The haters never congratulate; the fraudsters mingle and disassociate.
The pig oinks and climaxes over a bucket of fried chicken.
The haters whisper, trying to peddle a false narrative of success.
I remain silent.
No nasal intrusions; investigating lunch. Gone for a moment are the moments of the boring asking the same question, ‘But what next?’ Inside my mind, I hear laughter – my big brown eyes ask silently, ‘Who the fuck are you?’ I smile.
And just like that, sense has prevailed, and the fog has dispersed. You should’ve made it clear, my dear. You should’ve been truthful. 📵 ‘Fuck that liar! Fuck his friends and fuck his bitch.’ – Life Mantra
I walked into an unoccupied room and let the tears flow to a man I don’t have much respect for – a man who has treated me like shit and stepped out of his role into a cloud of ignorance.
I was crying due to a range of emotions festering in my mind. After all, who wants to listen to the negative aspects of your life? Like, I am going through a lot right now, and my head was about to explode. Surprisingly, it helped. Thank you.
Then followed the slurry of colleagues asking more than once, ‘are you okay?’
I had not slept in over 24 hours, and my body felt like shutting down. My eyes flickered shut on the cusp of five-minute intervals, and I struggled to complete my shift. I understand some people have good intentions; however, after I have answered you twice! Why would you ask another three times?
Sometimes, you should read the space and mind your business.
I returned to work on Tuesday after taking one day off sick due to poor mental health.
I had people who don’t usually communicate with me outside of work, sending unsolicited messages—asking questions under the guise of concern.
On Wednesday, one said to me, ‘Are you okay? Because you don’t seem yourself!’
Me: ‘Yes, I’m fine, thanks for asking.’
Idiot: ‘Are you sure? Because you don’t seem yourself!’
Me: ‘I’m fine. Thank you.’
Idiot: ‘Are you sure? You just don’t seem yourself at all. I’m here if you need anything. If you need to talk, I mean, I’m, I’m right, here okay.’
Me: ‘I’m fine. Thank you.’
I mean, a return to work was completed with my Line Manager, So why do others feel they are now competent enough or even wanted in my personal space? Why do they feel entitled to know why I was off work? Even when I’ve politely shut the topic down, they still push for information.
I could not wait to get out and finish my shift. Yes, there are many obvious reasons for being employed. However, self-employment is the true path for me.
Others say they mean well; they’re just looking out for you. But I never ticked a box to say, hey, I accept nosey fake doctors in my life. We’re not even close like that – never have been, never will.
In addition to the above, I would not have returned if I did not feel ready, nor would I disclose my reasons for being off sick. In short, leave me the fuck alone.
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