Category: Life VS Reality

What I Want

What I want?

I want you to sweeten my days.

I miss what we once shared and had wished profusely that it never went away.

Our visit to that café was an experience I must say.

One that warms my soul on a cold summer’s day.

Over time I’ve wanted to reach out and say, ‘hey!’ But situations occurred and life swept me away.

What I want?

Is to kiss you, forever and forevermore.

I often dream you’ll arrive after midnight, with 3 taps lightly on my door.

Frequencies wrapped me up and tore away unfaithful thoughts. My mind calls them back and my heart always applauds.

I sometimes feel like a fraudulent existing life form, because if I’m honest and if our universe permits, I would freeze us in the eye of a love-storm…What I want?

What I want? Is to never miss you, because you’ll be here within my reach.

I want to hear your voice up close; I miss those long nights – just you and I.

Each second spent with you was both a curse and a blessing. And if I’m honest with all involved, I’ve understood a painful lesson.

What I want?

I want to feel your arms hold me tight, I want to kiss you goodnight and I want to hear you whisper, ‘everything’s going to be alright!’

I never imagined we’ll fall out and have silent fights. Ones where I feel, and I type and I write what’s black and what’s white. Feelings bite through my wrists like I might stop and…

What I want? Is to understand you. I don’t know you. I’ve never met you.

I want to like you.

I want to write with you.

I want to stand height to height with you.

I want to cite life with you.

I want to make delights with you.

I want to spend the night with you.

Who are you exactly? Where on earth did, we meet? How did you find me again? Why did you return?

What I want?

I want to set the world on fire and soar through the night sky.

I want to return to our universe, to be that sapphire blue star and die.

Pussy

You got the pussy

But not the time

My life is fine

She’s not divine

I’ve got the vibe

My mind is mine

You want my time

I’m not inclined

I taste sublime

You’ll always mind

Moments so fine

I’m divine

I have no time

Ooh What A Lovely Pair!

I wake up.

I stretch.

I shower. My scent? Acai-berry yumminess.

I’m dressing.

I examine my outfit, I don’t want to wear layers.

I’m outside, strolling.

Eyes beam across my chest. My chest.

My curves are visible.

It’s true, I removed that additional layer.

My nipples peer out at you. All of you.

Hello!

Hello!

Apparently

Apparently, I’m not good enough.

So you push back on my prospects.

We all must live with our choices, until the end of our lives.

I’m not here.

I’m a figment of your imagination.

Even the sweetest moments were lost.

Know that back then…I never thought this was possible.

I envisioned a delusion.

Know that I died that day.

Know that I was buried in a capsule of bullshit.

Know that my last thoughts were of the good times you conjured up.

One Year

This time last year I was being lied to. I trusted this person and they lied to me. For months…at the final hour, they departed my life.

 Piano Sonata No.14 Beethoven plays as I type.

They then tried to keep hold of aspects. It was a challenging moment, but I managed to free myself from all detrimental scenario(s.)

They tried to keep hold of what they lacked without my presence. 

This time last year I felt these negative vibes – I ignored them in exchange for temporary details.

     Burning red flags presented themselves at every turn. I fanned them away, in favour of something amazing? Like I said, this person had my trust!

This time last year, I danced with deception and flirted with fakery. 

The impact

  • They’ve permanently lost my confidence in their ability, to be honest, and show integrity.
  • I can’t comprehend why I ignored the inferno that roared inches from my body.
  • Our universe will raise them up and at their pinnacle moment of self-actualisation cracks will deepen into graves for their bounty of happiness.
  • I’ll pay my respects with a single hemp seed.

Update

  • private & confidential.
  • My circles are trustworthy.
  • My life is abundant in love.
  • All red flags are acknowledged.

Future Scope

  • We will never see one another again.
  • We will never correspond in any way, shape or form.
  • When the last petal falls and they burn away the facade, I won’t hear the formation of a river from painful tears.

  Legacy

  • They ignited this insatiable thirst. I drink deeply, daily!
  • I’m grateful for the double-edged sword they used to slit gaps in my circulation. I can’t stop the bleed – vampires wait to be fed. They present lies in exchange for life.
  • Private and confidential.

Inside

You never know what people are going through behind the scenes.

Sometimes your thoughts take you down blind roads. You feel warm but you’re scared.

You try reaching out to people you once deemed as trustworthy but they’re focused on their lives – you no longer meet their requirements.

Confidence is broken.

They’ve moved on.

You’re abandoned, you feel your heart beating and you want it to stop!

You want to lay there in bed and understand what you did wrong?

You feel alone.

They’ve gone.

Your fragile heart is broken and your mind full.

Ignored because you’re faulty.

Like drugs, you consume more and fuck up your perspective.

You make comparisons and you conduct a study.

You don’t comprehend the results, because everything points toward your favour.

Only you see red.

You imagine your absence to be peaceful.

Cold Nation

📸 Unsplash

Cold Nation

Walk by the beggars that beg; maybe it’s for drugs? Maybe it’s for alcohol?

We can’t hear them.

News: The government say they have put aside millions of pounds to house the homeless during the coronavirus pandemic.

Viewers – Aww, that’s brilliant.

Walk by beggars who ask you to spare some change. They’re probably spending it on drugs and my money isn’t going to a crackhead.

Let’s get in the queue for McDonald’s, we haven’t had Maccys in weeks! We deserve a treat.

‘Spare some change please Luv?’

Sorry, I only have my card on me.

‘God bless you.’