Category: Life VS Reality

Nightmare Series: CLOWN

I should’ve never swiped right.

Guess you were dragged up from the dregs of societies gutter. Low down where the super-sized rats roam through the shit you spew from your brittle lips.

‘You’re just a puppet show.

A little boy that often sits alone and cries.’ – Mariah Carey

The catalyst for your disruption was that I woke up.

I saw the bits of matted flea covered fur you left around me. I noticed the putrid smell of your shitty words and the horrific sight of your existence.

Go perform like the clown you know best.

Go play dress up and hide the overplayed mess.

Go mimic better men and tell yourself you’re amazing. Self-affirm some nonsense to take attention away from the fact that you’re less than nothing.

A stain in a basement of an abandoned, derelict house. No one truly cares about you.

‘Who’s gonna love you when it all falls down? Who’s gonna love you when your bankroll runs out? Who’s gonna care when the novelty is over?’ – Mariah Carey

‘Not I,’ said Unique

‘Not I,’ said Unique

‘Not I,’ said Unique

Nightmare Series: Pain

Hello.

I’m, I’m Unique.

I’m in pain.

Because you stabbed me.

I’m bleeding out.

Remember our first kiss?

I’ve been feeling pain, trying to hold on.

I’m cold.

I tried. Albeit haphazardly.

But when is it right to wanna end my existence?

The only thing I did wrong was choosing you to rest my heart on.

Let it be known that I truly believed that together we would be phenomenal. Only you don’t think you deserve a woman as amazing as me.

At the fall of my last tear, you turn your back and begin to cry.

Regret is your mindset.

Pain Series: Perplexed

My heart going wild within my chest.

ANXIETY

ANXIETY

ANXIETY

Everything is a mess!

Inhale

Exhale

Inhale

Shake.

There’s no escape.

No escape.

Escape.

I shudder at the endless variations on the next event. I fear failure and a steel tent over my need to communicate.

I feel faint…I…

_we both know what was said during that conversation. Your title holds little weight with outside communication. I don’t know when I don’t know how but I’ll find you in the future.

I’ll open my eyes and gut your soul, placing an end to our contention.

Pain Series: The Stained Glass Heart

At first glance on a bright sunny day, the colours consume you, in awe, some may say.

Through the core of a black woman, radiating pure love.

Incomparable to the rings around her, due to hatred from eyes self-positioned above.

Push through.

Push forward.

Educate all and any along the way.

Allow the strength of your soul to shine through, your stained glass heart, always.

Pain Series: Inactive

There are times I’ve deleted whole conversations, in an attempt to forget the hurt they’ve caused.

Imposed a block on social media, to hide away from emotions exposed.

Laidback and did nothing, to try to forget.

Permeated through bedsheets, fear had me losing sleep.

Inactive is my status, so you experience no notion of my turmoil.

You created this.

You caused this.

You impressed this.

You developed this.

You.

You strangled my words with this.

I lay still as a baby lamb 4 hours after being slaughtered.

Fuck how I feel – it’s all apart of your culture.

Pain Series: Separation

My mind is awesome for the same reasons it’s not.

Memory x Detail x Accuracy

Pain upsets me.

Are my thoughts distorted?

Is this the start of my downfall?

Am I operating on notion?

Pain opens me up, I convulse and I transmit. What/who/when did this pain commit?

Times I’m distraught are the times my rage is caged. It’s all in my head and I hate to say this, but I’ve come close to…

The Pain Series by Dame Unique

Welcome to mid-October!

Over several days I’ll be sharing creative pieces from The Pain Series.

After preparing a post for World Mental Health Day and abandoning it, then preparing a new one. I thought about the times I’ve felt pain in my life and how I’ve dealt with that emotion.

During my time reflecting this weekend, I felt inspired to produce a mini-series on pain. It’s an emotion in life that we are all destined to experience. I can’t tell you how many times, as it will differ for each of us. However, I felt compelled to put PAIN into words and creatively articulate this emotion.

No one in our entire universe is absolved from pain. It forms a vital part of our lives and shapes our behaviour from that moment forward.

To me, pain is painful and sometimes that pain becomes a burden that overstays, long after its point has been made. Some moments in my life came unexpected and it’s true, I’ve cried a hundred times over, to no avail.

This October, I share the pain born from life itself.

Dame Unique

World Mental Health Day

Earlier this evening I had written a blog post that consisted of 1500 words. However, upon reflection, I’ve decided not to post it. This is out of respect for the memory of someone I once knew and held in high regard.

Some of you may know that in 2019 I went through a profound set of changes in my life. A few of which I have touched on lightly through conversations behind the protection of…

During the months of emotional pain that was inflicted on my existence, I felt as though I could not confide in anyone. It has taken months of work to acknowledge what happened, accept that it has happened and to move forward. That this person is no longer in my life and I admit, I have grieved the absence of our connection. However, in some ways, I’ve learned to identify other elements in my life that today I embrace.

If you or anyone you know are going through a difficult time and aren’t sure what to do. Please speak with someone or get in touch with an organisation that specialises in Mental Health.

If you or someone else you know:

  • Has a change in appetite
  • Feeling low.
  • Thinking about death.
  • Withdrawing from family & friends.
  • Change in sleeping habits.
  • Lack of interest in personal hygiene.

Please know that support is out there for you.

  • Mental Health.org
  • Samaritans
  • Childline
  • Rethink Mental Illness
  • Nightline

There is no shame in struggling with your mental health. All of us at one point go through something that impacts on our mental health.

The best thing I can advise is to seek help and know that support is out there for you.

Know that you matter and every heartbeat counts.

Love

Unique

Right Now

Right now I’m drinking from a tiny bottle of wine.

I have a lot on my mind.

People draining me daily, all the time.

My life is a life that is alive only sometimes.

This wine beams through me, deep through the darkness of my mind.

I call out for you! I call out for you.

Where are you? It’s late. Never on time.

Debating on life is a crime unfiltered.

I call out for you. Notifications remain muted.

The bait went stale.

Click. Click.

I’m exhausted, I miss aspects of interactions.

Reactions are volatile.

Because you always overreact – like an over sensitive weak human. Bitterness intact.

I probably shouldn’t be on my blog.

I probably should type out so many subliminals. I do. Oh! I do.

With the tiny bottle of wine, I salute you, you, you and you.

Love me, Love me Not.

The bright hue of Scarlett.

The warm scent of new.

The heavyweight of sorrow.

The belief of love renewed.

The reality of intention and deception.

The thoughts so dark and grey.

The scope of fame and fortune, with clickbait, added each day.

The whores attitude of your attitude towards my existence.

The ego you blow up and in my space, the knife stabbed through to mitigate it.

The blue blocks of builds hiding the levels of coerced promotions.

The white lines of the show you glamorise as actualisation.

The whisky you take straight on a Tuesday afternoon.

The roar from my heart at the sign of a new moon.

The rust from your mindset as it’s set in its ways.

Love me, love me not I don’t care anymore, anyway.

Friends

If you’ve not seen my WhatsApp story updates.

If you can’t see my Instagram.

If you can’t hear my tweets.

If you never receive a card this Christmas.

If your emails file straight to junk.

If your shared media has deleted and expired 30 days after deletion.

If your letters remain unopened or worse, unopened and returned.

If you try to call and can’t ever get through.

We’re not.

We’ll never be.

I’ll never seek.

I’ll never speak.

I’ll never hear.

We’ll never share a friendship again.