Dear Ex-Boyfriend

Dear Ex-Boyfriend,

Thank you for your most recent correspondence.

I appreciate the time you’ve taken to get in touch and express your emotions, by way of the pen.

I’m doing well since we parted ways. I’m progressing nicely through brighter days.

I’ve missed you at night when we used to talk, cry and sing. I’ve missed our connection, built from deep within.

But let’s not forget your actions, the role you played in this. Let’s pay homage to your actions and how that night, was our very last kiss.

I’m not here to make you feel good about yourself, that responsibility lays with you. I’m not here to massage your consciousness when you hurt me that pain cut through. Remember, you decided to do what you did and you enjoyed your life for a minute thereafter. My name isn’t Dr Unique, I’m not your therapist or your point of laughter.

Thank you, Ex-Boyfriend! For doing what you do best – you were weak as fuck when we met and today you’ve since regressed.

I miss your lips.

I miss making love.

I miss playing with you and more than the above.

The notion that we dated will be forgotten over time. The fact that I once blessed you with love, will remain your biggest regret, not mine.

Rest in peace to every moment we created, the second I realised you’re fake! I eliminated memories backdated.

Faded is your new label.

Faded is your mouth sucking my nipples.

Faded is your access to my life.

Ex-Boyfriend, one thing I must include…having two was too much, excluding number one was awfully rude.

No, I do not wish you well.

I do not wish you good health.

I do not wish you a happy future.

I affirm all the above upon myself.

Ex-Boyfriend,

I hope your soul burns eternally while your heartbeats in this life.

I hope your soul continues to burn through, long after the moment you die.

Love in abundance,

Unique

Blackout

I’ve been tormented by your silence.

Incapacitated by your love.

Lost time over how you’ve treated me.

Scars on my arms and etched into my mind.

I never asked for this. I only wanted to love and be loved.

When you don’t like an action I’ve taken, you impose an order of silence.

I wait anxiously to discover the consequence.

I lay beside you, awake.

You hold me tightly and whisper.

Inside I’m broken.

Inside I’m broken.

Inside I’m broken.

I wake up and you’ve made breakfast.

You’re happy! You kiss me.

I’m confused.

Did you not?

Did we not?

Did I not?

Your body embraces mine on a sunlit balcony.

I want to feel bliss. But fear races through me.

Why am I afraid of you?

Zeus

Your seed zaps around my womb like a bolt of lightning.

I feel your son stretching every few hours. He will be tall like his father, a mighty warrior grows inside of me.

I’ll give you life.

You are my life.

I love you ZEUS

If I die during childbirth, know that every second with you – was worth US

Lightning rain down with bolts of passion. Unique is unique and that’s my last expression.

Homeowners

‘Unique, why rent when you can buy your own house. Renting is wasted money.’

Unique- so, you own your own house?

‘Yes, I pay £400 PCM on a mortgage.’

HOMEOWNERS

A mortgage is a glorified loan. Don’t lecture me about my money.

You don’t own shit until you own every brick, not 34% of it. Outright ownership, legit shit.

So the next time you wanna preach to me about why I rent. My money is my money and every penny is well spent.

Acknowledge this:

My life is not bankrolled by handouts.

My home isn’t funded by an ex.

My home wasn’t gifted to me because I have a baby.

I’ll always earn my way and pay for my life. I don’t need a man or a fucking mortgage – I’m independent.

Day One

Unique: What do you want?

DR: To heal you.

Unique: How will you do that?

DR: Through love, honour and respect.

Unique: How do you know this will work?

DR: I’ve been trying to tell you from day one.

Unique: Can I take both?

DR: Only one. The red pill or the blue one!

Unique: I’ll take the blue. I can’t stand the pain anymore; I hate love and I hate this life too. My heart can’t be fixed and my mind processes too much. I think about the time wasted and how much love I poured into every touch.

DR: Well Unique, I must say, the red pill is most certainly for you. We can’t neglect a mind like yours in this day.

Polyfilla

Polyfilla

‘Commonly used to fill in gaps. Like cracks in walls or gaps made by rats’ – Knowledge Centre

I’m not here to fill in the parts your partner lacks.

You chose that.

You chose that over Unique.

I was disappointed at the time, fast forward I’m now fine.

Above the line is what you’ll see. Below my waist you’ll never kiss.

I don’t exist to prop you up on what ‘your partner lacks.’

Face facts!

You mask the crap that smothers your back. Like the previous one – you allow pathways up your spine and holes in your heart.

I can’t fill either of those aspects.

I’m not a ‘partner-alternative’ when you feel lonely, upset, hurt or in pain.

You insert mind-games.

I’m not defined by my name.

I’m not defined by your one-dimensional perception of my purpose.

I won’t lie down for you to cover up my glow with nonsense.

Polyfilla

A great tool for things with gaps, carved out by rats.

Polyfilla

When did I share what I wanted with you?

What way did you care?

Why did you lie to yourself?

How do I know your motive so well?

Who did you think you were back then?

Polyfilla.

The mixture dries up.

The crumbs fall.

The vacuum sucks it up.

The bag of dust is discarded.

The new look is better. (Ish.)