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Welcome to mid-October!
Over several days I’ll be sharing creative pieces from The Pain Series.
After preparing a post for World Mental Health Day and abandoning it, then preparing a new one. I thought about the times I’ve felt pain in my life and how I’ve dealt with that emotion.
During my time reflecting this weekend, I felt inspired to produce a mini-series on pain. It’s an emotion in life that we are all destined to experience. I can’t tell you how many times, as it will differ for each of us. However, I felt compelled to put PAIN into words and creatively articulate this emotion.
No one in our entire universe is absolved from pain. It forms a vital part of our lives and shapes our behaviour from that moment forward.
To me, pain is painful and sometimes that pain becomes a burden that overstays, long after its point has been made. Some moments in my life came unexpected and it’s true, I’ve cried a hundred times over, to no avail.
This October, I share the pain born from life itself.
We were once good friends…
You never know what people are going through behind the scenes.
Sometimes your thoughts take you down blind roads. You feel warm but you’re scared.
You try reaching out to people you once deemed as trustworthy but they’re focused on their lives – you no longer meet their requirements.
Confidence is broken.
They’ve moved on.
You’re abandoned, you feel your heart beating and you want it to stop!
You want to lay there in bed and understand what you did wrong?
You feel alone.
Your fragile heart is broken and your mind full.
Ignored because you’re faulty.
Like drugs, you consume more and fuck up your perspective.
You make comparisons and you conduct a study.
You don’t comprehend the results, because everything points toward your favour.
Only you see red.
You imagine your absence to be peaceful.
I know how to count, so I’m counting.
Addition, subtraction no reaction.
I know how to read so I’m reading, the messages you don’t send so I’m guessing.
I know how to think so I’m assuming, no contact in forms is just ruining.
In comparison to us at the beginning, we’re nothing right now you’re just sinning
Our beginning was flourish with no blots. Now I’m connecting all dots, you’ve just stopped!
Ruining connections, you keep stepping, over my thoughts expressing passive aggression.
Online many times just seeking, I see the signs many times I’ve been peeping.
It’s been a while, so you dial because you creeping.
Bitch claims to be stalled, so you call, shit is seeping.
I know how to connect, so I’ve disconnected. Those callbacks you speak of keep requesting.
My investment can’t invest, so I’m missing. Staring out my rearview is a blessing.
Like Amy I’m Gone Girl, I’m transparent. Everything on the peripheral is apparent.
I wondered if I’m at fault, I’m impatient. But your actions I speak of, I’m just saying. You could do better, but you’re playing.
Emotional intelligence is a blessing, I know this emotion, I’ve faded.