Tag: Life

Are You Awake?

When I’m alone with my thoughts wishing our world was better, I think about you.

It’s dark in our country at this moment in time and I know you’re at home, eyes open and head down.

I would pray you call, but I remember your faults. And prayer is a conversation with myself.

You beat down my soul and drowned me in your lies. Water puts out fire it’s true, but ice can also burn through flesh.

I picture your tainted bar; you know the one you pissed on with your weaknesses. I recall that leash around your neck, only allowed you to commute to your office, home and wherever the Boss commanded you.

Are you awake?

Of course, you hiss desperation into the air and blow that through to my ears. Then you cry alone under the safety of a user for an employee.

I remember the mornings you beeped into my private space…scattered messages, deeper lies and flattened truths.

Let me tell you, the lies you spawned this time last year have already manifested over what you claim to fly with. When yet another drains your existence, you’ll wish you were sleeping eternally.

In satisfactory memory of the worm that wiggled its way through my fruit bowl.

The Blame Game

At first, they blamed a group of people, because a video went viral and showed someone eating a bat.

Then they blamed a lab for allowing it to break free.

Then a small city was blamed and all the residents were labelled as people saw fit.

Later an entire country was blamed for it causing this.

They once ridiculed the health services and mocked cleaners, spat on bin men and stole from the doorsteps delivery drivers frequented.

Now they cheer them – they clap for our carers because they tell themselves that if I clap on a Thursday at 2000 GMT if I ever get COVID19 the NHS will save me.

Some blame the NHS for treating the sick, commenting, ‘You’re spreading COVID19, as you’re in contact with people who have it.’

Then they blame the government for suggesting we stay inside, stay safe and protect others, to keep everyone alive.

‘The Government have made the virus up!’  I heard a man state as I visited Tesco’s, ‘they wanna keep us quiet so that they can build more 5G towers! Fuck Trump!’

Then 5G towers were burnt to the core, apparently, they spread COVID19.

The blame was placed onto Corona beer, how unfortunate and unjust.

The blame shifted to the elderly, their immunity the lowest.

The blame was placed onto vegans and then taken away. The sales of oat milk shot up tenfold, what more could anyone say?

The blame was actioned on black people who resided in the country COVID19 was born. Videos circulated showing them being banned from the stores and locked out from their temporary homes.

The blame was sprinkled across wet markets over there and there and there. However, they continued the operate even though COVID19 had taken away many lives.

The blame sauntered to news reporters, medical staff, public transportation and lack of sanitation. #WashYourHands the main form of mass communication.

We are a world that enjoys pointing fingers, like the only kid that never stole a cookie from the jar. COVID19 is still present, yet we #Blame others and focus on who to troll next?

SOME PEOPLE SHOW NO SYMPTOMS OF HAVING CORONAVIRUS

We all lose out in the end, COVID19 does not discriminate.

The blame masturbated over social media and climaxed in the eyes of many…

Corona

You’ve stopped drinking Corona beer through fear of catching COVID19, in other words, your ignorant mind has convinced you that COVID19 has been lingering for years upon years around the world, in bottles! That many people have been buying and consuming long before the COVID19 pandemic.

During my daily walk, I see you, I see many of you walking around like no virus exists. I see you standing right next to strangers or walking by them so closely, that you’re inches apart! Only a few inches.

COVID19 is still taking lives away from our Earth.

You’re out wandering around the streets, it’s more than essential travel! How do I know? Because I see you, I’ve seen you like zombies!

COVID19 is still present and raging through our earth.

Yet, you walk aimlessly around in close contact with everyone, not a care in the world.

They may not have used the Nightingale hospital straight away, but it does not take an expert to see that they will be busy in a matter of weeks.

Social distancing markers on the floor but only a small percentage adhere to the rules. I went out this morning to purchase essentials:

  • Sanitary Towels
  • Handwash
  • Drain Cleaner
  • Tissues
  • Hayfever Eyedrops
  • Hayfever tablets

I arrived at the shop at 9 am, opening time. While adhering to social-distancing rules, 3 people came along and casually started browsing in the same box I was standing within – I had been in the shop for about 20 seconds.

I want this to be over as much as everyone else, but not at the cost of even more people dying – additional deaths because ignorant, selfish, detrimental people think that ‘easing lockdown’ is equal to the end of COVID19.

     Coronavirus is roaming around our earth, invading people, choking them by filling their lungs with mucus and unfortunately, ending some lives. All because some of you are ignoring the rules and doing whatever you feel like – the sun is shining, let’s go outside and mingle. Let’s socialise and fuck the 2-metre social-distancing rules, I can stand/walk where the fuck I like.

‘It’s summertime bitches!’

Let’s play Russian Roulette with everyone’s lives!

Don’t worry about dying, we clap for the NHS every Thursday at 20:00.

Object: Whiteboard

You’re not screwed into a wall, as I move you from room to room, infrequently.

I write on you in various colours, mainly blue as blue is my favourite colour.

I often notice scratches left on the wall I once leaned you against, aghast on my face, as a tenant I’m disgraced – in my head that is. I wonder if my landlord will deduct £5 off my deposit for wear and tear?

Almost every time I start I write at the top of you in black ink ‘W/C 3RD MAY 2020 – TODO!’ was the last thing I titled you.

OVERDUE***

Rests below, dutifully so.

I list the number of things I must complete ASAP for my degree. Only, I never complete them on time. I like writing on you.

I enjoy spraying you and rubbing you out!

Lately, you have this unyielding power to inflict emotional pain through me, via the medium of reminding me that I’ve not completed anything on your list. Sometimes, I will move you away, so I don’t have to see you unless I happen to frequent the room you’re situated in.

I cheat. Because I will happily type up a new list and print it off, duplicate it in all three of my diaries…come back next week and do it again.

I apologise.

I promise to spray you down and clean you up, I promise I’ll do that today.

Heat

The heat is nice during the daytime, I can open my windows and enjoy the breeze.

However, you fucking disrespectful cunts smoke weed, and the pungent smell lingers through my windows, into my home.

Then you have the audacity to complain and tweet #WhereisBorris? Where is your fucking manners?

I don’t recall stating I’m happy that you smoke weed outside and encourage it to linger around! Honestly, would you like it if I poured bleach all over your dwellings? Do you like the smell of bleach with a hint of lemon?

I had to close my window, all of them!

I had to sit inside with the ever-increasing heat and the decreasing coverings of clothes from my body.

I dislike your disregard for my need for fresh cool air.

Just because you wish to fill your lungs with shit, does not mean that I share your style of living.

Heat!

When you create a small flame to light the end of your death stick.

Heat!

When its summertime in the United Kingdom and the sun is shining.

Heat!

When I must shut all my windows to prevent your addiction flowing through my space.

Heat!

My temper right now, I’ve had enough.

We Finally Skyped

I’ve never done that before, not properly I’m too shy.

I avoid selfies and video calls and all that jazz.

I’m scared to be judged – about how I look, how I speak how I move.

I can’t quite explain why I trusted you enough to accept your Skype call. However, I’m glad I did.

Thank you!

I believe you’ve added something special to my communication realm.

Friday Fatigue

I woke up at 0400 (GMT) showered, smeared olive oil over my body, dressed and went out.

At 0600 (GMT) I walked through the entrance of a supermarket and purchased the following:

  • VGTRN BURGERS
  • VGTRN BURGERS
  • VGTRN BURGERS
  • BBQ PIZZA
  • BBQ PIZZA
  • FROZEN FRUIT
  • FROZEN FRUIT
  • QUORN BITES
  • ALPRO YOFU
  • ALPRO YOFU
  • FLORA
  • FLORA
  • DRINK
  • DRINK
  • DRINK
  • RAPESEED OIL
  • TINNED FRUIT
  • TINNED FRUIT
  • TINNED FRUIT
  • COCONUT OIL
  • GREEN CHILLIES
  • AIRWICK REFILL
  • AIRWICK FRESH
  • CRUMPETS
  • CIF CREAM
  • SPICY NOODLES
  • SPICY NOODLES
  • SPICY NOODLES
  • POTATO CHIPS
  • POTATO CHIPS
  • GLASS RAMEKIN
  • GLASS RAMEKIN
  • QUORN BURGERS
  • STORK MARG
  • ALPRO YOGURT
  • ALPRO CUSTARD

I packed everything into one grey backpack, a cooler bag and a large eco-friendly bag. I carried everything home, disinfected the fridge and packed everything away.

After I ate the Quorn ‘chicken’ burgers, I remembered I had forgotten to purchase icing sugar. I ventured back out and after 45-minute walk, I ended up at a 4th supermarket – apparently, everyone is baking and they’re all sold out. However, in the 4th store, I found icing sugar.

Another chunk of time elapsed and there I was watching ‘My 600lb Life,’ via YouTube and drifting to sleep.

I woke up a short while ago and saw two missed calls from Mother. Followed by a WhatsApp message about Ozark on Netflix. Currently, I’m typing up a brief account of my day, eyes slowly closing…

Wishes

I wish you did not exist.

I wish we had never kissed.

I wish you didn’t fucking lie.

I wish simple things had never died.

I wish you weren’t a fucking cunt.

I wish your life weren’t a front.

I wish you didn’t lie to me.

I trust no one now and no more I will see.

Bullshit in my view.