My Mind

Your centre of excellence.

Inside

You never know what people are going through behind the scenes.

Sometimes your thoughts take you down blind roads. You feel warm but you’re scared.

You try reaching out to people you once deemed as trustworthy but they’re focused on their lives – you no longer meet their requirements.

Confidence is broken.

They’ve moved on.

You’re abandoned, you feel your heart beating and you want it to stop!

You want to lay there in bed and understand what you did wrong?

You feel alone.

They’ve gone.

Your fragile heart is broken and your mind full.

Ignored because you’re faulty.

Like drugs, you consume more and fuck up your perspective.

You make comparisons and you conduct a study.

You don’t comprehend the results, because everything points toward your favour.

Only you see red.

You imagine your absence to be peaceful.

Can You Show Me?

Can you show me your heart and I’ll show you mine?

I want us to compare love, especially at this time.

Can you show me your mind and I’ll teach you about life?

I want us to compare thoughts, even more so this time.

Can you show me your memories and I’ll tell you my story?

I want us to compare history, although history is history.

Remember

I’ll always love you.

I’m Done

I cry real tears.
You drain me and I try.

You act and I believe the show.

You manipulate and like a newborn lamb, I listen.

I’m done.

Off

Off.

Like cows milk rotting away in an office fridge.

Like stale bread that begins to foam.

Like my line that you keep calling.

For You

I’ll always be here.

I’ll always answer.

I’ll always listen.

I’ll always wait.

I’ll always offer.

I’ll always wonder.

Rat

I hate em’ I hate em’ all.

I’m not your Therapist.

I’m not your mole.

I hate the fact that you drag on my fuckin’ tits!

Fuck off.

Leave me the fuck alone.

I love your hairy belly, but I fuckin’ hate you.

I want you out of my head.

Out of my phone!

My life.

Think twice; think twice.

Secrets are Secret

Photo credit: Unsplash

Have you ever felt so strong that if you were shot, you could take it?

Like right here, right now.

BANG!

Through the centre of my heart, a bullet made from diamond pieced through.

My love for you poured out, crimson in colour, the temperature was the body.

Are you comfortable enough?

My heart is now faulty.

Pain, what pain? I’m too shocked to notice.

Eyes closed I hear your voice, ‘Unique, stay with me, baby.’

Like a baby, I lay helpless.

But I love this shade of red, it suits me.

You always looked impeccable in a suit darling, always.

I feel the warmth of your whisky infused breath, upon my eyebrows.

‘You can’t leave me Unique, we have a whole future together!’

I wonder if you noticed the expiry date when we joined up?

Thinking ‘forever’ never means the definition.

I found that out twenty seconds ago.

Have you ever felt so powerful, that if you were shot at, they would miss?

Rat-ta-ta-tah

(Pop, pop, Pop)

A bullet scrapes by the side of my neck. But you’re alright darling, that’s all that matters.

‘Unique, I love you with all my heart.’

My heart bleeds out, air drifts away from me.

I can’t feel your breathing anymore, I struggle to open my eyes.

I know I’m dying.

Rat-ta-tah!

‘Unique, I’m sorry baby. You know I love you, I do.’

Rah-ta-ta-tah, Rah-ta-ta-tah!

(Pop, pop, pop)

Every time you come around.

I take a few steps back, you make ten strides forward.

I tell you no.

You answer for me.

I lay motionless with a 5cm hole through my heart.

The beats are fading out.

Every time.

You return like the predicted coming of Jesus.

Only you’re here, right now.

BANG!

My brown eyes open the moment the bullet cuts into the skin between my eyebrows.

Breathing

My sun, my moon, my peace.

Everything I did was for you.

My moon, my sun, I sleep.

Everything you did was for you.

Never again will I see, never again will I feel.

Once loved, twice shot.

Twice shot, lovers plot.

11:11

Lovers plot? What’s the essence?

To kill for love, to kill equates to no sense.

No senses are working, I’m sorry.

Time of death.

‘I’m sorry, Unique! Please don’t die. I don’t know what came over me. I never wanted you to leave me. I’m sorry.’

He cradles my body and his tears and hysterics shower me with wasted energy.

‘I, I only wanted you to be mine. I wanted you to love me, just like I love you. Look, I wanted us to get married.’

He picks up the diamond ring from the side of my thigh and pushes it onto my ring finger.

He presses his lips upon mine and somehow ignores the blood that covering my Ruby Woo.

‘I panicked. Please, GOD! Please don’t let her die.’

His phone beeps.

He sends a reply.

He looks at pictures of us taken yesterday.

Plays the video

‘I wish we could spend the rest of our lives together, just us.’

‘I do too, baby girl.’

He phones the police.

Secrets are Secret

Quote: Love

Never Call Me

Photo credit: Unsplash

Online.

24 hours in one day.

Online.

Boing-boing, boing-boing.

Framed that shot, that convo, our hot conversations. My battery died! I’m, well I’m awfully sorry.

Yesterday, we floated amongst the unknown and kissed beneath the stars. We rode through red lights, quickly.

Online.

Boing-boing, boing-boing.

‘Ssh!’

‘Stop it. I thought you cared about me?’

Boing-boing, boing-boing.

MUTE.

Last month we drank marijuana, hey! Rebels in essence and kind. Last month I fell in love with absenteeism, vegetable soup and ghost.

‘I had hope in my mind? I had hope.’

Online.

Nothing.

Online.

Titbits are fed to the dragon every 24 hours.

Oh, my God! You’re here! ‘Hey baby, I’ve missed you. I’ve missed us…I…’

Blue ticks.

Right.

Okay.

Online.

But last week we, well?

No worries.

Online.

Boing-boing, boing-boing.

Silent Mode – But I keep checking.

I had hoped we would remain here, not there or there, definitely not there. But here, in our safe place.

Online

Finally asleep – You take my hand, and we walk through fields of sunflowers. The sun is rising, and our hearts beat in sync. We never talk, you never call me, we speak through our shared universe.

The sunflowers sway around us, the pollen makes me sneeze. It’s you, it’s all, it’s all yours, I fall to my knees.

Bee’s swarm above us, judgement, confliction, negotiation, redemption and reward.

You join me and hold me, kiss my forehead and connect. Deep blue flames burst out of we, for we one of the same.

Flawed, flawless, I care? Do I not? No!

Boing-boing, boing-boing.

That sound louder than before.

The dragon roars, the dragon soars, the dragon waits and sometimes mourns.

The flames burn us, cremated thorough and deep. Our ashes mixed in with earth soil for our love never sleeps. The roots are replenished, and the sun is due to set, every second together we bore no boredom or regrets.

Feel my heart.

Touch my soul.

Lick my…

Do you remember how the wind took us up to the stars? Do you recall how many times, we conversed about going that far?

The overnight guidance and the bond stuck and remain. My heart plays truant, this time and once again.

Online

MUTE

This should prevent the growth continuing, that impending motion of love or something?

I swear, I feel…I can’t lie to you.

I promise forever means forever and ever is equal to two.

My dreams go on for hours and hours I lay in vain, for I want what I want when I want it. But the mind is known for playing games.

Updates!

Yes and no.

I’ve loved you from that moment our hearts coincided with vibrations and said hello!

Online

Boing-boing, boing-boing.

‘I’m here, I’m not. I’m going.’

Mixed emotions, high emotions, so emotional it’s annoying.

The other day I ran away, I found a lake and stepped in. It flowed by the field of sunflowers, our real end, and where true love begins.

I love you.

I Know

I know how to count, so I’m counting.

Addition, subtraction no reaction.

I know how to read so I’m reading, the messages you don’t send so I’m guessing.

I know how to think so I’m assuming, no contact in forms is just ruining.

In comparison to us at the beginning, we’re nothing right now you’re just sinning

Our beginning was flourish with no blots. Now I’m connecting all dots, you’ve just stopped!

Ruining connections, you keep stepping, over my thoughts expressing passive aggression.

Online many times just seeking, I see the signs many times I’ve been peeping.

It’s been a while, so you dial because you creeping.

Bitch claims to be stalled, so you call, shit is seeping.

I know how to connect, so I’ve disconnected. Those callbacks you speak of keep requesting.

My investment can’t invest, so I’m missing. Staring out my rearview is a blessing.

Like Amy I’m Gone Girl, I’m transparent. Everything on the peripheral is apparent.

I wondered if I’m at fault, I’m impatient. But your actions I speak of, I’m just saying. You could do better, but you’re playing.

Emotional intelligence is a blessing, I know this emotion, I’ve faded.

@Dame_Unique