The bus was crowded but I boarded as the weather was awful and I needed to get home.
There was no space so I stood near to doorway, the driver shouted for us to move further down the bus, but there was nowhere to for us to go.
I held on tight to the nearest bar and tried to avoid leaning into people when the bus made hard turns. That’s when I felt your coat, sliding across my left arm. Back and forth, once was enough – but then it continued, I looked around and I looked at you, but you did not look at me. The texture I felt had vanished.
You looked ahead in the direction you were facing and that was beyond my presence.
I turned away. The bus swayed and came to a halt, it wasn’t my stop but I had to inch closer to a lady standing beside me. I had no choice but to make room for the other passengers.
The bus continued and I was no closer to home than when my journey started 8 minutes ago. I felt your coat again, sliding up and down my lower back. I was too scared to turn around, so I moved my handbag and for a moment, you stopped.
A minute or two later, you pressed against me and I could feel your…
That night I felt violated on public transport.
That night I wanted to scream, ‘what the fuck are you doing?’ but I lost my voice.
That night my mind was pushing me to push my way through the others and get off at the next stop – but it was dark, and the rain was heavy, and I had no money to get another service.
That night you chose me.
That night you touched me, over and over again.
That moment, I couldn’t even cry, shout, speak, move, I was frozen.