‘Unique, why rent when you can buy your own house. Renting is wasted money.’

Unique- so, you own your own house?

‘Yes, I pay £400 PCM on a mortgage.’


A mortgage is a glorified loan. Don’t lecture me about my money.

You don’t own shit until you own every brick, not 34% of it. Outright ownership, legit shit.

So the next time you wanna preach to me about why I rent. My money is my money and every penny is well spent.

Acknowledge this:

My life is not bankrolled by handouts.

My home isn’t funded by an ex.

My home wasn’t gifted to me because I have a baby.

I’ll always earn my way and pay for my life. I don’t need a man or a fucking mortgage – I’m independent.


Apparently, I’m not good enough.

So you push back on my prospects.

We all must live with our choices, until the end of our lives.

I’m not here.

I’m a figment of your imagination.

Even the sweetest moments were lost.

Know that back then…I never thought this was possible.

I envisioned a delusion.

Know that I died that day.

Know that I was buried in a capsule of bullshit.

Know that my last thoughts were of the good times you conjured up.

That Kind of Thought Process

Imagine being hated because your skin colour is beautiful.

The malleable minds of the ignorant launder their uneducated thought processes into the world and believe their demented tales.

They lie, each day.

The energy you place into hatred is sad. I once read an article about the number of hours we spend at work throughout our entire life. They spend more time hating black people.

Your legacy will be as follows:

Born innocent and full of joy and curiosity.

Sadly, taught hatred and spent [insert number of years] antagonising and murdering black people.

The build-up of nonsensical resentment meant that the entire world missed out on progressing.

Unfortunately, in death, they won’t find peace.

We all have a purpose here in our universe and I can tell you with absolute certainty, that our purpose in life is to grow together!

What you do to others will come back to a connection in your life ten-fold. You could spend a lifetime taunting non-whites and lose your wife to cancer. The pain you feel then is nothing compared to the families of all those innocent lives you ruined and ended.

I hope you change your ways and help to heal the world.  

In Other News

The missing snake who was once employed by tellalie.com has been found!

It has been reported that although she remained in a suit. Her head had been removed, with a slow, deep cut to her neck. The killer chopped her tail off and shoved it down her throat, into the cous cous filled cavity, her stomach.

     Her suit was grey with black trim, and a stain of instant coffee on the left lapel. tellalie.com has minimal standards for their kind of employees. Her footwear was open-toe sandals, tan in colour, it was summer after all.

We’ve been advised that the authorities have spoken with a key witness, who stated that she had witnessed the entire murder. We managed to catch up with her when she left the station, and after all that she said:

Interviewer: ‘Thank you for agreeing to speak with us. It is such a tragedy when something so horrific occurs in our community. I understand that you are in shock and processing everything, but could you tell us what happened here?’

Interviewee: ‘Well, what I saw was a snake in a suit have her scaly head sliced off. I mean, she wasn’t the prettiest of snakes and, well. She did work for tellalie.com, but she told LIES!’

Interviewer: ‘What do you mean? Surely you don’t believe that anyone deserves to be treated in such a manner?’

Interviewee: ‘So what you’re saying is, those who tell lies don’t deserve to die?’

Interviewer: ‘Excuse me?’

Interviewee: ‘That fucking bitch ass snake told a fucking lie and has been blessed with death. Yes, she deserved to DIE!’

The interviewer looks nervously into the camera lenses and then over to the Cameraman. Before mouthing ‘Did you have anything to do with this?’

Interviewee: ‘I saw that the killer used a knife they stole from that kitchenware shop on the Highstreet. It was lime green in colour, and I’m sure I spotted remnants of mushroom on the tip of the blade. It was a beautiful death.’

You’ll say this, and you’ll write that. You’ll cry insanity and parade down the anxiety path.

You’ll hiss, and you’ll slither.

You’ll hope, and you’ll craft, you’ll scheme and you’ll plot.

You’ll never cross Unique again, for your status has been updated – ROT!


Hey Sweetie,

See me waving rapidly and grinning like Bean. I’m elated to see you and enjoy spending time with you.

Pardon? No, I would never be so passive aggressive. That status update had nothing to do with you.

Gee, I’m a Creative Writer!

‘Hello I’m Bean!’

I disagree with your thoughts. When I see you, I’m going to park my car in the space you wanted.

No! Never out of malice. Simply because I’m Bean.

Like You Used To

📸: Pixabay

Like You Used To

Those dwellers that dwell in the past, beneath the rock that states, ‘I woz ere 2000.’

Why is it that many can’t see and accept when a person changes? The human can become a better person, refining their current skill set and becoming a better person.

I find it a laborious task explaining to someone that most people, ‘thinkers & doers’ alike are groups of people who progress in life.

What am I babbling on about?

Those conversations I’m brought into whereby one party can’t seem to accept, that another does not operate like that anymore. For instance, I gave up eating meat and consuming dairy a few months ago, till this very day I have people say, ‘Why don’t you eat meat like you used to?’

I also never used to date single fathers; however, a recent encounter changed my mind. But I still get those questions!

Why, oh, why? Don’t you do that like you used to?

Are we trying to stunt the growth of a person, to fit our own perceptions that we build within our mind – to keep our own egos satisfied that another person isn’t doing better? (Gee, a mouthful I know.)

The tedious, familiar feeling I have when I must reply. (Not replying comes across as rude)

Why do some of us have this urge to live stagnant lives? Extract the word ‘live’ and replace it with repeat. Why do some of us have this urge to repeat stagnant lives?

We are on Earth, within a multiverse of universes and yet, SOME of US choose to REPEAT stagnant lives.  Is this a rant? I would say a mini one.

Maybe I’m not transparent enough? Nah!

I believe some people have become too lazy to think before they plough into a conversation, like a person wearing glass slippers on ice. Or a chef preparing vegan food using meat-based cooking utensils. Or saying you care about climate change while discarding your waste into the ocean and buying a bucket of chicken on the way home.

Like you used to!

Will this stop, not unless they think before they speak. But then who am I to make such a statement? I’m just trying to do my bit in a world where people like to repeat stagnant lives.

Well, rant over!

I hope you see how important it is to vent. Bottling up your annoyance, won’t make it age like fine wine. It will fester and become putrid, like comments from trolls beneath a curvy person posting a beautiful image.

Fester away and attract rats with the smell and stale vibes, of a conversation past due – and poorly placed. Boil away like the multiplication of a Gremlin when wet.

Express yourself, don’t repress yourself.

If you need to rant, then rant. Don’t hold onto it and backpack with it to your tomorrow.

Our lives could end like the male Mayfly – all in a day’s action.

How do I feel?

Awesome. Ready to start a new day.