Tag: Life

I Want You

I want you to picture me overeating and gaining weight rapidly.

I want you to imagine I Smell like bullshit and I don’t try to mask it with pleasantries.

Dream about my life, a life of wasted potential. I am wallowing in a bottomless pit of sadness.

I want you to wish hard that I’m crying and my heart pines for yours.

I want you to believe your actions were inconsequential, but spot on.

About Earlier

📸: Taken by Crow

About Earlier

I went for a run.

Crow stayed near our home.

I went for a scan and was asked to return next week. Apparently, my bladder was not full.

I walked, and I walked, embracing the quieter roads and sounds of nature.

I bought mushrooms, broccoli, onions and rice.

I returned home and baked a banana loaf.

I sniffed the tulips, that rest upon the coffee table. I hate coffee.

Crow snuggled up in the corner of the window, the sunlight making his sapphire blue eyes sparkle like the crystals next to him.

We’re both introverts.

We’re both thriving.

We’re both happy.

Tomorrow, I will continue to read The Dolls Alphabet, and Crow will interrupt every three minutes. I like number three.

Now we sleep.

Rat

I hate em’ I hate em’ all.

I’m not your Therapist.

I’m not your mole.

I hate the fact that you drag on my fuckin’ tits!

Fuck off.

Leave me the fuck alone.

I love your hairy belly, but I fuckin’ hate you.

I want you out of my head.

Out of my phone!

My life.

Think twice; think twice.

Like

In a word of social media

Like acid, you burn through me

Like a guillotine you behead me

Like a throne, you scream entitlement

Like a message, you annoy me

Like memories you stalk me

Like feelings, you pester me

Like a liar, you lie.

Like a user, you surface when you’re in need.

Like this post, you seek attention and validity.

Lockdown

For the past few days, Unique has been indoors; anxiety has her paranoid.

Daily, she sprays disinfectant and prepares vegan food. Moaning at Crow, ‘stay indoors!’

But Crow wants bagels, Crow want’s joy. ‘Stop being a worrier; it’s not a pandemic its all a ploy.

Unique has not eaten much since last Wednesday I’m told, she’s developed an aversion to food – through worrying about the sick, elderly and the homeless. During a shopping trip Wednesday morning, she witnessed people with full trolleys fighting over pasta while elderly customers struggled to navigate through the crowds to get any essentials.

     Unique returned home and saw videos posted online showing selfish people stockpiling on essential items – Who needs so much loo roll? When did the flu cause you to shit more than usual? That’s unusual.

     Unique saw some positive posts via Instagram, showing fishes, swans and dolphins return to clear waters in Venice. Bull-fights have been cancelled, Cheltenham Horse racing cancelled and the consumption of plant-based milk soaring.

Yet, she remains indoors!

Crow lusts after the chances to fly out and explore the supposedly vacant streets. But Unique is down, and she’s his only reason for staying indoors…

*If you care about your friends, family and community you live in. I implore you to stay indoors!

Please follow the government’s advice and stay indoors! Those of you who have to go out for work, buying food, etc., please adhere to social distancing rules.

As Unique climbed into bed, Crow swooped down onto her headboard and whispered – ‘Heal the world, make it a better place, for you and for me and the entire human race. There are people dying if you care enough for the living make it a better place for you and for me’ – Michael Jackson

A Private Thought – by B.

📸: From the files of B

A Private Thought

Sent: ‘I’m happy for you. Unique, I really am.’

Received: ‘Thank you.’

Sent: ‘You deserve everything you need from the universe!’

*I really miss you.

I need you in my life.

I’m kinda happy for you? Well, I don’t want you to be too happy. Because I want you to turn to me when you’re sad, ask me if you can rant.

I want you to need me forever.

I want you to share everything with me.

I know this is terrible when I know you’ve moved on. But I want you Unique, I’m going to remain in your life.

Even when you push me away, I’ll be right here. I’m not going anywhere, you’re too important for me to lose.

I just felt we were?

I miss you.

Tell me anything you like. I wanna know.

Received: ‘I wholeheartedly trust our universe.’

Sent: ‘You deserve everything in life.’

Received: ‘Thank you.’

**You used to tell me everything. You used to say more!

I want you to tell me everything.

I want you to say more.

I can’t accept the ambiguity!

Sent: ‘You know I’ll always be here for you, whenever you need me.’

Received: ‘I’m happy. Thank you.’

**You’ll never know how much I miss you.

B.

Zone

Dedicated to You

Zone

Remember that area that you were not permitted to use.

But you trespassed anyway.

What are the rules to the unruly?

Words spoken, understood, never followed.

Remember that area you were not permitted to use.

But you asked too many questions.

What are words on paper categorised as law?

You heard everything and obeyed nothing.

Look at yourself.

Welcome, Unique!

Open Me

📸: Unique’s email notifications

Open Me

16.01.2020

Hey Unique,

I’m sending this email as I’ve noticed that you haven’t replied to any of my messages.

Why haven’t you responded?

Are you upset with me?

Have I done something to upset you?

I really hope you do reply! I’ve been wondering if you would like to meet up for lunch? Or maybe we could go for cocktails this weekend. But if you prefer lunch, then I do too.

Can’t wait to hear back from you.

Xo

**Meanwhile

Unique sits on a train heading up north to Edinburgh. She is sipping on Innocent orange juice while reading My Sister the Serial Killer.

Her phone is on flight mode.

Unique is listening to Beethoven, unbothered by life outside her mind.