I’m sending this email as I’ve noticed that you haven’t replied to any of my messages.
Why haven’t you responded?
Are you upset with me?
Have I done something to upset you?
I really hope you do reply! I’ve been wondering if you would like to meet up for lunch? Or maybe we could go for cocktails this weekend. But if you prefer lunch, then I do too.
Can’t wait to hear back from you.
Xo
**Meanwhile
Unique sits on a train heading up north to Edinburgh. She is sipping on Innocent orange juice while reading My Sister the Serial Killer.
Her phone is on flight mode.
Unique is listening to Beethoven, unbothered by life outside her mind.
I loved stroking your belly, I could stroke you forever. I loved kissing your belly, I could kiss you forever. I loved being close to you, our hearts beat on forever.
Now my face imprints on the fresh mound of soil that covers your final spot.
Woman: ‘Don’t worry about it, we’ll cut her throat!’
Man: ‘She’s exaggerating about the facts. I mean, yes I did a little bit of this and a smidgen of that.’
Woman: ‘But it was just a joke?’
Man: ‘Yes. I did do all that she said. But fuck that dramatic bitch! She’s pushed me right over the edge.’
Woman: ‘Don’t worry about it, we’ll cut her throat.’
Man: ‘I want to choke the fucking grass and smash her head into her desk.’
Woman: ‘I’ll support you, either way, do what you feel is best.’
Man: ‘When she returns to work, I’ll break her down. I’ll overwhelm her with tasks, I’ll smash her crown. That pretentious witch believes she knows best. Well, I’ll give her what for, I’ll increase her stress.
Little Ms KnowItAll, informing the powers that be, that I mistreated her!
I!
ME!’
Woman: ‘On that final note, don’t worry about it. We’ll cut her throat.’
You kissed me and I
loved you. In a way that was real enough.
You needed your
heart repairing.
You held me and I
stitched the fragments back together.
You wanted peace and
quiet
You expressed your
wishes and I let you fall asleep on my thighs.
You had headaches
and they stunned you each time.
You spoke of head
massages and I massaged your mind.
You attempted to
drown yourself.
I raced over and pulled you out of death. I performed first-aid and you choked, between your tears. We sat in silence, until your mind was here and not down there.
Friendships: I learnt that I don’t need years upon years to call someone a friend. I’ve met some fantastic people this year, and I’m happy that they’re in my life.
Discussions: In 2020, I won’t be discussing the following aspects of my life – love, finances and challenges. I found through talking about such topics, it led to people watering down things and entwining their opinions with that they feel should be my actions.
Advice: This links into the above a little, I won’t be taking any advice on the above. This year, I’ve asked for advice, and it’s all been nonsense. I’ve no time for it.
Time: My time is just that, MINE! Some people have this sense of entitlement as if I owe a debt of time that can be paid back in random instalments. Time is so precious, I know that saying is cliché, but it is true. No longer will I allow my time to be stolen by time thieves, who never seem to grasp that I have no obligation to fulfil their requests.
Creativity: This year, I have tapped into a part of my creativity that has allowed me to produce some amazing pieces. (I’m eternally thankful.) I’ve been writing more and I’m both proud and astonished at the short-stories I have created. Some have taken me months to tease out of my mind and translate onto paper.
Reflection: I have a period of reflection every single day. I think about what goals I have completed and plan for the next day. It helps me to relax, as an introvert, I need to use a lot of mental energy, so reflective thinking is beautiful.
Although 2019 will be over in a few hours, I’m not running away from it. I accept it has been a turbulent year for me and with turbulence comes lessons learnt. I’m taking this knowledge into 2020 and building upon it.
Resolutions?
I don’t make resolutions, as goals I set, I start them the day I set them. No point in waiting for New Year’s Eve, life is never guaranteed.
Thank you all for following me on my creative journey, I shall try to post more frequently and read more. I truly appreciate your continuous support.
If not for the endless drivel of replayed news and images with no progress. Then most certainly the shit you text me after hours.
You bring nothing new to the table.
You speak about the same things – which would be fine if the conversation weren’t the exact same! It’s like time has frozen and you only know of the same things.
No growth!
I tire of the alerts on my phone that you need me. When I check it’s the same, I already know before I read anything from you.
‘Hey, Hun, hows u? xx’
‘Nah! I’ve got da flu.’
‘Wanna meet for lunch?’
They all start the same, once I reply you complain…
‘I never hear from her. Bitch! We were fucking best friends.’
‘We should meet for lunch.’
‘You, know so and so are still crap!’
Nothing new in your life.
No changes!
But you still complain about your life, how nothing goes right. Right?
Why I Don’t Fuck with You
I’m a person that grows continuously and shall beyond my time. You live in 2014 and remain chained to 2009. I can’t invest time into rubbish.
So, it shall remain here in 2019
Right here.
I’ve no time for those that replay the songs of idol gossip, or the movies of repeat actions, expecting new results.
Yes, you read that right the first time.
I’ve no time for those that replay the songs of idol gossip, or the movies of repeat actions, expecting new results.
You play credits to 2009 all the time. Because that’s all the time, you think about. You eat pork chops and mash, but ‘act’ shocked when the scales confirm that your weight has increased.
Lunch is always pending…
You speak of it, but it never comes into existence.
You’re always overspending, but that’s okay – as others repeat stupid actions by lending you money. You never learn. Well, you refine ‘the art of entitlement.’
Apologies!
I forgot to note your frequent comments, ‘I’m not going back to work, the government owes me money.’ To all those that are on a continuous spiral of nothingness, walking down the spiralling stairwell of nothingness. ‘Enjoy.’
Why I Don’t Fuck with You?
One day I realised that our ships are unequal. You take, take, take. I give, stop and then give more. You beg, beg, beg, and I ponder over what our minds think about one another…
You talk, and the output is stagnant like the plastic that remains at the bottom of our waters. I speak and bend the narrative, only you sway and revert to repetition. Then I’m trapped!
You are YOU, and at one point in my life, I enjoyed the stale attributes of repeated discussions. I enjoyed bitching about so and so and droning on about shit I never did anything to alter.
It’s 2019 as I type this, Christmas Eve to be exact 05:20 to add better vision.
December is the month we indulge and be indulged, overeating roasted flesh and vegetables that accompany the dish.
We like to spend!
We like to spend what we have.
We like to spend what we don’t have.
TREAT YOURSELF!
Scream the lights hung up inside windows of our local ‘Highstreet.’ We hate being told what to do, but we are obedient when those lights tell us what to do.
Bah Humbug!
To the one use only Christmas jumpers – Yes! I know you felt you would get your wear out of it. But you say this every year, and every year you buy a new jumper. Donating £2 no £3 to the Christmas Jumper day charitable event.
Which as some say, ‘every little helps.’
How much did you spend on gifts this year?
Ooh! How much have you spent on food?
Don’t worry, you donated a few cans of chickpeas back in March to your local food bank. That’s alright, someone will benefit from your out of date donation. What did you say you’re having for Christmas dinner again? Ah! Let’s recap.
Starters
King prawns roasted in garlic butter laid on a bed of lettuce.
Sweet Thai chilli chicken, served on bruschetta.
Main
Roast Turkey/Chicken/Lamb/Salmon/Duck/Pig
Roast potatoes
Various vegetables – Must have sprouts
Pan-fried bits of bacon
Rice
Lashings of gravy
Stuffing balls
Pudding
Apple-pie
Apple Crumble
Christmas Pudding
Jam Roly-poly
Ice cream
A general idea of what some families have on Christmas day
It’s sad. We do so little to help those less fortunate – I’m not knocking your mini donations, a £1 here or a £1 there. ‘Every little helps.’ How much did you say Christmas dinner costs?
Christmas Day, one measly day out of the entire year. I use the term measly because it’s a day where the many are for themselves, and the few go on to suffer…
Bah Humbug!
Indoors overeating and eating, feeling full and still eating. Some people in receipt of gifts and tweeting their disgust, ‘I didn’t ask for this! I wanted that!’
Tis the season to be jolly.
You deserve all your heart desires and more. Let’s not think about the homeless this season. You received £600 worth of gifts. But that’s not enough! You expected more, you’re worth more.
John received a meal and a pair of socks, which was a gift from a charity. On Boxing Day the 26th of December, most of the nation will be battling their way through the sales. Indulging even more.
There exists a plethora of reasons why I don’t like Christmas, and overindulgence is my primary one. It’s like we are a world of split-personalities. On the one hand, we infrequently feel charitable and donate from time to time. What is £1 compared to £600? Well it’s £1 more than £0
I wish the month of December weren’t so commercialised. That we helped one another willingly and showed gratitude genuinely. It’s tiresome seeing the fights recorded the day after Christmas.
Our world is being destroyed by our own destructive choices, our indulgence in consumption and our lack of care for others.
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