Tag: Life

Who Do You Love, Are You Sure?

Photo credit: Pixabay

Before

I fell in love with a man that ticked all the boxes.

My list went on forever, about a meter in length, Time New Roman, font size 10.

He lived alone, knew how to drive and earned a decent wage. Our first date was near the beach, and it all began with a wave – Hey Unique.

I had high expectations, which he met and surpassed. He was health-conscious, earth-conscious and his positivity was unmatched.

Did we ever fall in love? No. But I was sure then he was my happily ever after.

After

I fell in love with a man that externally was a catch for all.

My list was crippled by my internal anxiety. I told myself I was never good enough for him.

I made sure I was there.

He drove, cycled, owned his own apartment, cooked, earned a wealthy wage and was polite.

He made me believe I was never good enough, by the silence he often bestowed. He used to pick me up so high, love me and drop me like a bag of plastic tossed into the sea.

As I’m sinking, I see his menacing glare, but before I’m fully submerged, he would pick me up and embrace me. He would hold me so tightly, felt like he would never let go.

My expectations bounced from one end to the other – this man loves me? No. We just fucked like passionate lovers.

Who Do You Love, Are You Sure?

‘Who do you love, are you sure?’ – LL Cool J

We love one another, we sometimes love ourselves.

We’ve loved many others, before and after tales.

Emotions are draining and powerful at the same time, emotions are unpredictable, and even then, they’re all beautiful.

I was sure about before, I was sure about after, now in my future, I look back, and I’m past that.

I loved him then, and there ever after. That was at the time, I knew nothing past that.

Currently

I became friends with a fellow creative, we both adore the art of writing.

Infrequently exploring the universe together, amidst our surrounding circles of blended passion and lightening.

 Our bond is beautiful, and I must tell you so, I know I love this man and I know, he’ll never know.

‘I wish we met years ago!’

I wish the same things too.

Writing these words right now, and I only want to correspond with you. ‘I do.’

I’m as sure as my heart beats, I know my emotion so. I’ll always be here for you and my words you should know.

To build a connection, created from our starlight, our universe is ours, and forever we shall illuminate.

Who do I love? You, my love.

Are you sure? Unconditionally.

Who do I love? Blue, I love blue.

Are you sure? Like the depths of the ocean.

Who do I love? You, I love you.

Are you sure? Yes.

Who Do You Love, Are You sure?

I Know

I know how to count, so I’m counting.

Addition, subtraction no reaction.

 

I know how to read so I’m reading, the messages you don’t send so I’m guessing.

I know how to think so I’m assuming, no contact in forms is just ruining.

 

In comparison to us at the beginning, we’re nothing right now you’re just sinning

Our beginning was flourish with no blots. Now I’m connecting all dots, you’ve just stopped!

 

Ruining connections, you keep stepping, over my thoughts expressing passive aggression.

Online many times just seeking, I see the signs many times I’ve been peeping.

It’s been a while, so you dial because you creeping.

Bitch claims to be stalled, so you call, shit is seeping.

 

I know how to connect, so I’ve disconnected. Those callbacks you speak of keep requesting.

My investment can’t invest, so I’m missing. Staring out my rearview is a blessing.

Like Amy I’m Gone Girl, I’m transparent. Everything on the peripheral is apparent.

I wondered if I’m at fault, I’m impatient. But your actions I speak of, I’m just saying. You could do better, but you’re playing.

Emotional intelligence is a blessing, I know this emotion, I’ve faded.

@Dame_Unique

iRead: The Red Shoes by Hans Christian Anderson

‘In the middle of the village lived Old Mother Shoemaker. She took some old scraps of red cloth and did her best to make them into a little pair of shoes. They were a bit clumsy, but well meant, for she intended to give them to the little girl.’ (Hans Christian Anderson)

Very often, I see/hear ‘witness’ others complain about what they have. And not show appreciation for what they’ve got. ‘I need a new phone!’ Although, their current phone was released 8 months ago and purchased via contract 3 months later. ‘I need a new phone.’

Homelessness is very high across the United Kingdom, but what is the definition of United, when we can’t spare some change, but we do produce £79+ for a pair of Jordans. *Although, we already have 4 pairs in excellent condition at home. Home! Our Kingdom…

Gratitude: the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

iRead: The Children of Hameln by Grimm Brothers

‘Now that the citizens had been freed of their plague, they regretted having promised so much money, and, using all kinds of excuses, they refused to pay him. Finally, he went away, bitter and angry.’ (Grimm)

This is an accurate reflection of today’s society, people like to take, take, take and not even display a tit-bit of GRATITUDE.

Do you come across this often? People will contact you when they’re in need. ‘You know, I never like to ask you for anything, and I will pay you back right away.’ They never say, ‘How are you doing Unique?’ Well not unless they ‘need’ something from me.

And when you ask for them to pay back, or you tell them you need help, they vanish like rats being led by the Pied Piper! The thing is, I would instead they were straight up from the jump-off and told me, ‘I can’t pay you back for 6 months. Etc.’ Instead I get the characters from Grimms short story, playing real roles, asking real favours and regretting to pay up afterwards.

‘Life is NOT a rehearsal!’

Our Universe: Ask and I will tell

Last week Tuesday, after a bout of depression (?) I meditated with my crystals and asked the universe to deliver. I thanked our universe for all the gifts that it has provided to me and expressed my gratitude. I believe that we are all connected, in more ways than one. I trust that once we open our minds up, we will be phenomenal together.

We are all connected. Trust in yourself and your ability to be sensational. Encourage positive actions and promote positive energy. 

Channel negative chi skyward and allow our universe to transform it.

Embrace the feel of the earth beneath your feet, inhale deeply and exhale all the negative feelings you’ve been having. Trust in yourself and ask our universe.

I wholeheartedly trust in our universe.

I am intelligent.

I am beautiful.

I am reliable.

I am determined.

I am creative.

I am original.

Dear Universe,

I’m thankful for everything you have done for me.

Unique

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spotless Mind

I was listening to Spotless Mind by Jhene Aiko earlier.

Change is inevitable
Why hold on to what you have to let go of?
Like, did I really break your heart?
Was it all my fault?
If you don’t knock it off
You know like I know where this was headed
I’m a wanderer
I’m a wanderer, baby
I’m a wanderer
I’m a wanderer

 

It made me think about how I sometimes approach parts of my life. I’m naturally analytical and often think about ‘all possible’ outcomes before deciding to take action. And usually, the effect is that I do nothing.

But as the first line highlights, ‘Change is inevitable.’ Meaning no matter what you choose to do in life, Change is inevitable. You can choose whether or not you wish to participate. However, if you don’t join, time goes by, and you miss out on experiences and experience in life.

The next sentence, ‘why hold onto what you have you have to let go of?‘ Infrequently I fear to let go of things, that I have become accustomed to. I often think about ways in which I can hold onto something, just in case the new situation, leads to failure.

However, I’m learning that sometimes you have to just cut things out and walk over to the next. You can’t live your life in fear of living! Be bold, be courageous and live your best life.

Simply put, there is no point in roaming around/online venting about all the negative strands of your life. ‘You know like I know where this was headed.‘

Go out there and be a wanderer, nourish your needs, wants and desires. Irrigate your confidence and cultivate a spotless mind.

Unique

Friends – Real Friends

Remember those long conversations with friends. Conversations that make you laugh, cry and almost pass out through lack of air.

Remember when you dream about doing something and those same friends say, ‘that’s impossible! You should just stick to working and work your way up in the company.’

Remember those friends that vanished when you needed their support? When you fell down, into a ditch that was filled with thorns of steel. They looked over the edge and turned their backs – Who wants to be that friend?

 

I

When I needed you all the most you abandoned me. I called out and I heard a rodent of some kind, gnawing away at the bones you left in your wake.

 

Sparkle

When it rains glitter on me, I see your eyes beam and shine in my direction. You smile and hit me up with a few plagiarised, overshared text messages. Then comes the invitation to lunch.

‘No thank you.’

Friends – Real friends, are people that stay around. Even though a load shit is dumped on top of me. Whilst I try to climb out of this ditch.

Even now, the only friend – the real friend I have, is Me, Myself & I.

Stress & Wonderland

Lately I’ve been so stressed out, panel meeting, work, family life and my personal time…it’s all never ending and often, I forget to take a moment out to breathe and a day off from being a prisoner of time.

It’s all to that I encounter time-thieves! They come along, smiling like the cat from Alice in Wonderland luring me in with ‘it will only take five minutes,’ then stealing 40. I struggle to say no, which is a weakness. When I do say no, it falls upon deaf ears. And tension mounts up and stress rages internally…but I smile with such grace and silence.

Today I treated myself to two new books: Glamorama by Bret Easton Ellis & Gun Machine by Warren Ellis.

Gun Machine was recommended to me by the Sales Associate in Waterstones – I read a few pages and was impressed.

I later returned home and made beef burgers, lettuce, ketchup and a white bread bun, all Marks & Spencer such a delicious collection in my mouth. Now I lay upon my bed, covered in a beach towel and drifting off to wonderland…

Unique

Identify yourselves.

I’m not on “Over-used street” I’m creating my own path. I’m a creator, although I like to admire aspects around me…

Holding my hand out to you…

I want to immerse myself in your mind, adopt new ways of thinking. See visions unheard of.

I’ve broken the expectation. I’m not average.

I’m unique. I’m blessed. I’m in love with life.

Who are you all? How can I dissect your Facebook persona? Help me!

I’m Dominique. I’m black, dark skin at that, I love my tone…I’m in love with the emphasis my skin places upon my life. Who are you all?

I see no gender, no race, no nationality. Define yourself to me? Passport is not a requisite for this request.

My eyes see no religion, faith or spiritual belief.

I see you. Identify yourself.

ID cards! Name, age, DOB. NO. I can’t comprehend the meaning.

Identify yourselves.

I’m Dominique, I’m in love with words.

Who are you? I want to know.

Basics, no thank you. I hear no language.

I’m Dominique, I love to write.

Working eyes see black…so blindfold yourselves…now we all see black. Who are we? I’m number 1 of many. I watch trees grow…slowly.

Everything you own has been eradicated. IDENTIFY YOURSELF!

“I’m alive.”