Author: Unique

I don't write. I create. #EveryHeartbeatCounts

Still

📸: Pixabay

[05:36, 06/01/2020] Unique: Still

Time stands still.

In my mind.

I’ve woken up daily for five months, hoping that everything between us would heal.

Everything.

I’ve checked my phone every night, hoping you’ll be in touch.

(You used to touch my mind all the time)

Today I woke up and accepted our friendship died last year.

I know you said you wanted to remain friends, and I know I wasn’t sure about that. (Felt weird)

I know our friendship no longer exists, like the woolly mammoth it walked out one day to forage for food and never returned.

And I accept that.

I do.

I’m sorry.

I know you wanted more than anything to keep our connection.

It was so pure, real, needed!

‘It was!’

Our bonsai tree requires care and attention. The leaves have long since faded and the roots refuse to absorb the nutrients.

I remember watching a leaf drop, only one.

The next day they had all fallen.

I remember when we were in touch with each other, every day/night.

Then every few days.

Then at least once a week.

Still.

Today I woke up and accepted our friendship faded back in 2019.

The moment that thought was let through the acceptance trial, I cried profusely.

You saved me.

I’ll always feel honoured you found me when you did.

As I write this on the 6th of January 2020, my heart hurts. My tears are fast and constant, that blinking still leaves my vision blurry.

Still

You’ll remain a continuous thought in my mind. I’ll always wonder how you’re doing and I’ll hope that ‘you’re okay.’

Still

It took me months to erase our conversation on WhatsApp. Remember our first exchange and then compare it to our last – I apologise.

I take peace in knowing I was there for you when you needed me.

I relish the comfort in the belief ‘Que Sera!’

The future is not mine to see.

Still

With you, I wanted to see everything.

‘Que Sera’

But whatever will be, will be.

Still

Our universe connected us in ways we never knew existed.

I appreciate the sentiment when you initiate contact and send a message via WhatsApp.

Seeing a video specifically for our conversation is alien.

Hearing a voice note from you, where you state my name is alien.

Although, those lil messages I found sweet.

I still miss our bond from day one.

I’ll never block your number, the conversation will always be open by phone. (I acknowledge ours is borderline extinction)

Our universe advised me not to become so cold.

I know you’ll need me soon.

The ice steals from fear, and my anxiety was losing you.

Still

I woke up this morning and accepted you left back in 2019

I woke up, and my heartfelt heavy with magic.

I have no regrets.

Still

There are people on this earth that completely cut off.

I know that’s not us.

I’m saying wherever you are, wherever I go, you will always have space here.

Still

I’m putting this into the universe because I trust our complexities.

I trust my heart.

I trust my choices.

I believe in my purpose.

I have strength.

I have energy.

I have a healthy mind.

I have scope.

I have insight.

I have unique abilities.

I have my heartbeat.

Until we reconnect

Farewell my forever sweet avocado 🥑

Mrs Pepperdew

📸: Pixabay

Mrs Pepperdew peppered you with spice.

Mrs Pepperdew peppered you how nice?

Mrs Pepperdew flummoxed you each time.

Mrs Pepperdew connected you through rhyme.

Mrs Pepperdew sang to you, with aromatic spices.

Mrs Pepperdew convinced you that you could sing. But Mrs Pepperdew mocked you, as crow swooped in, ripped your tongue out and tossed it into the fire.

It snapped, it crackled, it fizzed, and it banged.

Mrs Pepperdew sang and she sang, and she sang!

Forget Me…Not

📸: Galaxies

Forget my sapphire-blue hair, ruby-red lips and 34DDs.

Forget the calypso of Shea-butter oil, that exudes a sweet aroma from my hair.

Forget how I made you tingle all over, by delivering my honey kisses. When you longed for them, and when you dreamt about them. I always delivered.

Forget the moments of calm I instilled within a whisper.

Me talking you through the ways in which you will get through.

Me holding you tight and keeping you safe.

Me touching your mind in ways you never knew existed.

Me stroking you for hours and hours.

Not the aspects that you conveniently forgot about.

Not the conversations that floated off our tongues and into the universe.

Not the connection that was felt from our first exchange.

Not the star we built, shared and lost.

Forget me…not

I Never Existed

📸: Pixabay

You imagined a saviour.

You found me and I saved you.

You needed comforting.

You called me and I held you.

You desired to be loved.

You kissed me and I loved you. In a way that was real enough.

You needed your heart repairing.

You held me and I stitched the fragments back together.

You wanted peace and quiet

You expressed your wishes and I let you fall asleep on my thighs.

You had headaches and they stunned you each time.

You spoke of head massages and I massaged your mind.

You attempted to drown yourself.

I raced over and pulled you out of death. I performed first-aid and you choked, between your tears. We sat in silence, until your mind was here and not down there.

You abandoned me…like I never existed.

I Died First

📸: Pixabay

‪I died 1st‬

‪I woke, I worried, I wondered, I fed.‬
‪I worried more.‬
‪I pondered.‬
‪I identified. I stressed.‬

‪I tapped, I thought.‬

‪I cried. I cried. I imploded, I scowled. ‬
‪I was vex.‬
‪It was a mess.‬

‪You had lied.‬

‪I dispatched our connect.‬

‪She died 1st.‬

‪#Poetry #CreativeWriting‬

You Can’t See Me

📸: Unsplash

We are two people.‬

‪Separate.‬

When together we form one. (Ish)

Hugs everlasting and memorable.

Warm.

Secure.

Until I got scared and lied to you.

I lied profusely.

I invented stories.

I acted, by reacting to things what I said happened.

I made sure you saw everything.

All I wanted was more of this.

Instead it dwindled.

I transformed into a honey badger and clawed away at your ankles until they snapped and you fell.

I ran away.

I shrunk myself down and grew long black wings. I felt more balanced and well rounded.

I flew through the forest and found you eating wild mushrooms.

I saw bandages holding your ankles blood supply in tact. I shuddered at what I put you through.

I flew on.

And on.

And on.

Until my heart stopped! I fell from the sky disgracefully. Right into an area of quicksand.

You can’t see me.

Bean

Hey Sweetie,

See me waving rapidly and grinning like Bean. I’m elated to see you and enjoy spending time with you.

Pardon? No, I would never be so passive aggressive. That status update had nothing to do with you.

Gee, I’m a Creative Writer!

‘Hello I’m Bean!’

I disagree with your thoughts. When I see you, I’m going to park my car in the space you wanted.

No! Never out of malice. Simply because I’m Bean.

The Delusion

‪The delusion that you truly believe I can be turned down, off, MUTE.‬

‪That my voice won’t visit your moments of quiet tracing your steps back to my den.‬

‪Oh! How awful do my lips look?‬

‪You distort the red.‬

‪I’m burrowed deeply into you. ‬

‪The delusion that you feel I can be placed on a bed of ice. Hoping that you’ll feel me FADE. Frozen in August 2019 where you left us.

My red lips, blue with the frost setting in. Your mind showing my absence.

Only, you hear my whispers.

‘Trust our universe’

‘You are amazing’

‘I believe in you.’

Yes, you heard that didn’t you!

Oh! How delusional that you felt for a moment in time that I was never Unique. I healed you…

You dismissed my powers when you felt the warmth of being cured.

At night you lay awake, wondering if you got things right? Hearing my sweet whispers and hoping (religiously) you’ll hear my voice once again.

Only I don’t exist.

Rappers Wanted!

📸: Dame Unique

If you’re a rapper, I would like to interview you! (About rap music and its influence on our lives!) #SlideIntoMyDMs 🎧 for more info! (Interviews will be confirmed at a later date)

RapMusic

HipHop 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 I’m implore all to #Share

Rappers #UKRappers #USrappers

TagARapper 🔥🎧🔥

What I Learned in 2019

📸: Unsplash
  1. Friendships: I learnt that I don’t need years upon years to call someone a friend. I’ve met some fantastic people this year, and I’m happy that they’re in my life.
  2. Discussions: In 2020, I won’t be discussing the following aspects of my life – love, finances and challenges. I found through talking about such topics, it led to people watering down things and entwining their opinions with that they feel should be my actions.
  3. Advice: This links into the above a little, I won’t be taking any advice on the above. This year, I’ve asked for advice, and it’s all been nonsense. I’ve no time for it.
  4. Time: My time is just that, MINE! Some people have this sense of entitlement as if I owe a debt of time that can be paid back in random instalments. Time is so precious, I know that saying is cliché, but it is true. No longer will I allow my time to be stolen by time thieves, who never seem to grasp that I have no obligation to fulfil their requests.
  5. Creativity: This year, I have tapped into a part of my creativity that has allowed me to produce some amazing pieces. (I’m eternally thankful.) I’ve been writing more and I’m both proud and astonished at the short-stories I have created. Some have taken me months to tease out of my mind and translate onto paper.
  6. Reflection: I have a period of reflection every single day. I think about what goals I have completed and plan for the next day. It helps me to relax, as an introvert, I need to use a lot of mental energy, so reflective thinking is beautiful.

Although 2019 will be over in a few hours, I’m not running away from it. I accept it has been a turbulent year for me and with turbulence comes lessons learnt. I’m taking this knowledge into 2020 and building upon it.

Resolutions?

I don’t make resolutions, as goals I set, I start them the day I set them. No point in waiting for New Year’s Eve, life is never guaranteed.

Thank you all for following me on my creative journey, I shall try to post more frequently and read more. I truly appreciate your continuous support.

Thank you 2019

Unique

xX

Why I Don’t Fuck With You

📸: Bitmoji

Why I don’t fuck with you.

If not for the endless drivel of replayed news and images with no progress. Then most certainly the shit you text me after hours.

You bring nothing new to the table.

You speak about the same things – which would be fine if the conversation weren’t the exact same! It’s like time has frozen and you only know of the same things.

No growth!

I tire of the alerts on my phone that you need me. When I check it’s the same, I already know before I read anything from you.

     ‘Hey, Hun, hows u? xx’

      ‘Nah! I’ve got da flu.’

     ‘Wanna meet for lunch?’

They all start the same, once I reply you complain…

     ‘I never hear from her. Bitch! We were fucking best friends.’

     ‘We should meet for lunch.’

     ‘You, know so and so are still crap!’

Nothing new in your life.

No changes!

But you still complain about your life, how nothing goes right. Right?

Why I Don’t Fuck with You

I’m a person that grows continuously and shall beyond my time. You live in 2014 and remain chained to 2009. I can’t invest time into rubbish.

So, it shall remain here in 2019

Right here.

I’ve no time for those that replay the songs of idol gossip, or the movies of repeat actions, expecting new results.

Yes, you read that right the first time.

I’ve no time for those that replay the songs of idol gossip, or the movies of repeat actions, expecting new results.

You play credits to 2009 all the time. Because that’s all the time, you think about. You eat pork chops and mash, but ‘act’ shocked when the scales confirm that your weight has increased.

Lunch is always pending…

You speak of it, but it never comes into existence.

You’re always overspending, but that’s okay – as others repeat stupid actions by lending you money. You never learn. Well, you refine ‘the art of entitlement.’

Apologies!

I forgot to note your frequent comments, ‘I’m not going back to work, the government owes me money.’  To all those that are on a continuous spiral of nothingness, walking down the spiralling stairwell of nothingness. ‘Enjoy.’

Why I Don’t Fuck with You?

One day I realised that our ships are unequal. You take, take, take. I give, stop and then give more. You beg, beg, beg, and I ponder over what our minds think about one another…

You talk, and the output is stagnant like the plastic that remains at the bottom of our waters. I speak and bend the narrative, only you sway and revert to repetition. Then I’m trapped!

You are YOU, and at one point in my life, I enjoyed the stale attributes of repeated discussions. I enjoyed bitching about so and so and droning on about shit I never did anything to alter.

It’s 2019 as I type this, Christmas Eve to be exact 05:20 to add better vision.

#OnceUponATime

Oh! The Profanity

📸: Pixabay

Oh! The Profanity.

‘What the fuck is this?’

‘Why do you ask?’

‘Why won’t you, fucking answer?’

Amid the midst of it all, I really want to relax and indulge in the warmth of plant-based kisses. Maybe, near a bed of pink roses and ‘Fuck off!’

‘No, you fuck off.’

‘Don’t talk to me, bitch.’

‘Your mom.’

When we paint pictures, they expect them to be pretty. I simply do not give a flying fuck, crawling fuck or a fuck that swims beneath you and bites your leg off.

‘Go fuck yourself!’

I only want to paint the darkness that bleeds out from your lips. What did you say again? Speak up, speak louder! I want your words to drown out the prettiness. Could you slow down and listen to the brush as I paint over your profundities of deplorable actions.

‘For fuck’s sake.’

The sound of your voice is drowned out by the coolness of the water, and the darkness of blood. Squeak no more, squeak no less, rats aren’t the best at swimming.

‘You mother-fucking son of a bitch!’

No worries, we’ve got this. You’re being recorded by many – one hash-tagged your swimsuit as looking cheap and tiresome. But go you.

I want to paint your lips red and then press my lips onto yours, rub my lips into your and blow red kisses. The flow down to the bed of the ocean, where the remains of words past are sprinkled with treasures.

Shells of life once inhabited before – Shells of a soul that once wondered the sands above.

‘Fuck you, fuck your soul, fuck your bones and fuck your words. Fuuuuuuuuuuuck.

I once painted a pretty picture, it had bunnies hopping, birds singing, puppies playing and sweeties raining. Oh! How delightful it is, it was. I poured petrol all over it and set it alight. A lie, your lies, up in flames.

Under the glow of the full moon, we see the scope. You’re viral and vermin. The rats welcome you back in glory.

Praise be.

Praise be.

Fuck me! You’ve created a masterpiece.

A fucking magnificent piece of shit!

Bah! Humbug!

📸: Unsplash

Bah Humbug!

December is the month we indulge and be indulged, overeating roasted flesh and vegetables that accompany the dish.

We like to spend!

We like to spend what we have.

We like to spend what we don’t have.

TREAT YOURSELF!

Scream the lights hung up inside windows of our local ‘Highstreet.’ We hate being told what to do, but we are obedient when those lights tell us what to do.

Bah Humbug!

To the one use only Christmas jumpers – Yes! I know you felt you would get your wear out of it. But you say this every year, and every year you buy a new jumper. Donating £2 no £3 to the Christmas Jumper day charitable event.

Which as some say, ‘every little helps.’

How much did you spend on gifts this year?

Ooh! How much have you spent on food?

Don’t worry, you donated a few cans of chickpeas back in March to your local food bank. That’s alright, someone will benefit from your out of date donation. What did you say you’re having for Christmas dinner again? Ah! Let’s recap.

Starters

  • King prawns roasted in garlic butter laid on a bed of lettuce.
  • Sweet Thai chilli chicken, served on bruschetta.

Main

  • Roast Turkey/Chicken/Lamb/Salmon/Duck/Pig
  • Roast potatoes
  • Various vegetables – Must have sprouts
  • Pan-fried bits of bacon
  • Rice
  • Lashings of gravy
  • Stuffing balls

Pudding

  • Apple-pie
  • Apple Crumble
  • Christmas Pudding
  • Jam Roly-poly
  • Ice cream

A general idea of what some families have on Christmas day

It’s sad. We do so little to help those less fortunate – I’m not knocking your mini donations, a £1 here or a £1 there. ‘Every little helps.’ How much did you say Christmas dinner costs?

Christmas Day, one measly day out of the entire year. I use the term measly because it’s a day where the many are for themselves, and the few go on to suffer…

Bah Humbug!

Indoors overeating and eating, feeling full and still eating. Some people in receipt of gifts and tweeting their disgust, ‘I didn’t ask for this! I wanted that!’

Tis the season to be jolly.

You deserve all your heart desires and more. Let’s not think about the homeless this season. You received £600 worth of gifts. But that’s not enough! You expected more, you’re worth more.

John received a meal and a pair of socks, which was a gift from a charity.  On Boxing Day the 26th of December, most of the nation will be battling their way through the sales. Indulging even more.

There exists a plethora of reasons why I don’t like Christmas, and overindulgence is my primary one. It’s like we are a world of split-personalities. On the one hand, we infrequently feel charitable and donate from time to time. What is £1 compared to £600? Well it’s £1 more than £0

     I wish the month of December weren’t so commercialised. That we helped one another willingly and showed gratitude genuinely. It’s tiresome seeing the fights recorded the day after Christmas.

Our world is being destroyed by our own destructive choices, our indulgence in consumption and our lack of care for others.

“Heal the world

Make it a better place

For you and for me

And the entire human race

There are people dying

If you care enough for the living

Make it a better place

For you and for me”

– Michael Jackson

Like You Used To

📸: Pixabay

Like You Used To

Those dwellers that dwell in the past, beneath the rock that states, ‘I woz ere 2000.’

Why is it that many can’t see and accept when a person changes? The human can become a better person, refining their current skill set and becoming a better person.

I find it a laborious task explaining to someone that most people, ‘thinkers & doers’ alike are groups of people who progress in life.

What am I babbling on about?

Those conversations I’m brought into whereby one party can’t seem to accept, that another does not operate like that anymore. For instance, I gave up eating meat and consuming dairy a few months ago, till this very day I have people say, ‘Why don’t you eat meat like you used to?’

I also never used to date single fathers; however, a recent encounter changed my mind. But I still get those questions!

Why, oh, why? Don’t you do that like you used to?

Are we trying to stunt the growth of a person, to fit our own perceptions that we build within our mind – to keep our own egos satisfied that another person isn’t doing better? (Gee, a mouthful I know.)

The tedious, familiar feeling I have when I must reply. (Not replying comes across as rude)

Why do some of us have this urge to live stagnant lives? Extract the word ‘live’ and replace it with repeat. Why do some of us have this urge to repeat stagnant lives?

We are on Earth, within a multiverse of universes and yet, SOME of US choose to REPEAT stagnant lives.  Is this a rant? I would say a mini one.

Maybe I’m not transparent enough? Nah!

I believe some people have become too lazy to think before they plough into a conversation, like a person wearing glass slippers on ice. Or a chef preparing vegan food using meat-based cooking utensils. Or saying you care about climate change while discarding your waste into the ocean and buying a bucket of chicken on the way home.

Like you used to!

Will this stop, not unless they think before they speak. But then who am I to make such a statement? I’m just trying to do my bit in a world where people like to repeat stagnant lives.

Well, rant over!

I hope you see how important it is to vent. Bottling up your annoyance, won’t make it age like fine wine. It will fester and become putrid, like comments from trolls beneath a curvy person posting a beautiful image.

Fester away and attract rats with the smell and stale vibes, of a conversation past due – and poorly placed. Boil away like the multiplication of a Gremlin when wet.

Express yourself, don’t repress yourself.

If you need to rant, then rant. Don’t hold onto it and backpack with it to your tomorrow.

Our lives could end like the male Mayfly – all in a day’s action.

How do I feel?

Awesome. Ready to start a new day.