You kissed me and I
loved you. In a way that was real enough.
You needed your
heart repairing.
You held me and I
stitched the fragments back together.
You wanted peace and
quiet
You expressed your
wishes and I let you fall asleep on my thighs.
You had headaches
and they stunned you each time.
You spoke of head
massages and I massaged your mind.
You attempted to
drown yourself.
I raced over and pulled you out of death. I performed first-aid and you choked, between your tears. We sat in silence, until your mind was here and not down there.
Friendships: I learnt that I don’t need years upon years to call someone a friend. I’ve met some fantastic people this year, and I’m happy that they’re in my life.
Discussions: In 2020, I won’t be discussing the following aspects of my life – love, finances and challenges. I found through talking about such topics, it led to people watering down things and entwining their opinions with that they feel should be my actions.
Advice: This links into the above a little, I won’t be taking any advice on the above. This year, I’ve asked for advice, and it’s all been nonsense. I’ve no time for it.
Creativity: This year, I have tapped into a part of my creativity that has allowed me to produce some amazing pieces. (I’m eternally thankful.) I’ve been writing more and I’m both proud and astonished at the short-stories I have created. Some have taken me months to tease out of my mind and translate onto paper.
Reflection: I have a period of reflection every single day. I think about what goals I have completed and plan for the next day. It helps me to relax, as an introvert, I need to use a lot of mental energy, so reflective thinking is beautiful.
Although 2019 will be over in a few hours, I’m not running away from it. I accept it has been a turbulent year for me and with turbulence comes lessons learnt. I’m taking this knowledge into 2020 and building upon it.
Resolutions?
I don’t make resolutions, as goals I set, I start them the day I set them. No point in waiting for New Year’s Eve, life is never guaranteed.
Thank you all for following me on my creative journey, I shall try to post more frequently and read more. I truly appreciate your continuous support.
People have tried on many occasions to dissuade me many times,
both close friends and family.
There have even been times where I have believed, they are right,
and I can’t do exactly what I want. Looking back there were a few occasions
where I gave up on pursuing my passion.
It has taken me years to accept that I can remove those
ceilings from my pathway. Which is up! Like a shooting star I shall rise and
soar, and the world will see and feel me.
YEARS!
I’ve always felt this inherent desire about where my life
will go. I’ve known my purpose in life since I was a young child. My journey is
unique to me – I can’t tell you how to get to where you ultimately want to be.
All I can say is that you should focus on your own pathway and listen to your
heart.
What is working for me may only work for one other person.
Or may not work at all.
I’m a firm believer that we all have a purpose in life – I felt
it a few times during my childhood. It’s only now in my adult life that I’ve
accepted it – I’m unique.
You’re Unique, there is no one else quite like you!
This event is happening now, you must trust your energy.
Believe in our universe and take action with your dreams.
You are a creator.
You are important.
You are Unique.
The barriers around you are all a manifestation of negative
energy.
Dilute that until it fades.
One thing I do more now is I step-up to the fear.
I feared telling someone how I felt about them.
I feared leaving.
I feared applying to study at University.
I feared tasting tofu (I know that’s random.)
Our universe is plentiful.
You must believe in yourself – break down your walls and
build your own table.
Remember: People will do everything and more to ruin you. (Consciously
and subconsciously.)
Success does not depend on your existence, it depends on your
actions – believe in yourself.
Don’t just live, learn how to self-manifest.
You are the key, the major key, the ONLY key to your most
sacred dreams.
How many times have you stated, ‘I’m going to start tomorrow,’
and then pushed back?
What are your habits?
Ultimately, they will form the basis of your manifestation.
Don’t run away from your gift! Embrace it. It loves you!
We are not just here to get by and work.
We are here to live and flourish within this life.
We were created to bless the world with our gifts.
You don’t need to have a huge following or likes. You don’t require
approval from anyone else.
Embrace yourself.
Don’t be numbed by employment – work on your passion each
day.
The world wants to share your gift and draw upon the energy
and inspiration.
I fell in love with a man that
ticked all the boxes.
My list went on forever, about a
meter in length, Time New Roman, font
size 10.
He lived alone, knew how to drive
and earned a decent wage. Our first date was near the beach, and it all began
with a wave – Hey Unique.
I had high expectations, which he
met and surpassed. He was health-conscious, earth-conscious and his positivity
was unmatched.
Did we ever fall in love? No. But
I was sure then he was my happily ever after.
After
I fell in love with a man that
externally was a catch for all.
My list was crippled by my
internal anxiety. I told myself I was never good enough for him.
I made sure I was there.
He drove, cycled, owned his own
apartment, cooked, earned a wealthy wage and was polite.
He made me believe I was never
good enough, by the silence he often bestowed. He used to pick me up so high,
love me and drop me like a bag of plastic tossed into the sea.
As I’m sinking, I see his menacing
glare, but before I’m fully submerged, he would pick me up and embrace me. He
would hold me so tightly, felt like he would never let go.
My expectations bounced from one
end to the other – this man loves me? No. We just fucked like passionate
lovers.
Who Do You Love, Are You Sure?
‘Who do you love, are you sure?’ –
LL Cool J
We love one another, we sometimes
love ourselves.
We’ve loved many others, before
and after tales.
Emotions are draining and
powerful at the same time, emotions are unpredictable, and even then, they’re
all beautiful.
I was sure about before, I was
sure about after, now in my future, I look back, and I’m past that.
I loved him then, and there ever
after. That was at the time, I knew nothing past that.
Currently
I became friends with a fellow
creative, we both adore the art of writing.
Infrequently exploring the
universe together, amidst our surrounding circles of blended passion and lightening.
Our bond is beautiful, and I must tell you so,
I know I love this man and I know, he’ll never know.
‘I wish we met years ago!’
I wish the same things too.
Writing these words right now,
and I only want to correspond with you. ‘I do.’
I’m as sure as my heart beats, I
know my emotion so. I’ll always be here for you and my words you should know.
To build a connection, created
from our starlight, our universe is ours, and forever we shall illuminate.
Last week Tuesday, after a bout of depression (?) I meditated with my crystals and asked the universe to deliver. I thanked our universe for all the gifts that it has provided to me and expressed my gratitude. I believe that we are all connected, in more ways than one. I trust that once we open our minds up, we will be phenomenal together.
We are all connected. Trust in yourself and your ability to be sensational. Encourage positive actions and promote positive energy.Â
Channel negative chi skyward and allow our universe to transform it.
Embrace the feel of the earth beneath your feet, inhale deeply and exhale all the negative feelings you’ve been having. Trust in yourself and ask our universe.
Remember those long conversations with friends. Conversations that make you laugh, cry and almost pass out through lack of air.
Remember when you dream about doing something and those same friends say, ‘that’s impossible! You should just stick to working and work your way up in the company.’
Remember those friends that vanished when you needed their support? When you fell down, into a ditch that was filled with thorns of steel. They looked over the edge and turned their backs – Who wants to be that friend?
I
When I needed you all the most you abandoned me. I called out and I heard a rodent of some kind, gnawing away at the bones you left in your wake.
Sparkle
When it rains glitter on me, I see your eyes beam and shine in my direction. You smile and hit me up with a few plagiarised, overshared text messages. Then comes the invitation to lunch.
‘No thank you.’
Friends – Real friends, are people that stay around. Even though a load shit is dumped on top of me. Whilst I try to climb out of this ditch.
Even now, the only friend – the real friend I have, is Me, Myself & I.
This morning I woke up to face a ghost at the foot of my bed. She was staring at me with such interest and appeared to be intrigued by me. She was small and I say she because she appeared to be wearing a dress and a headband…not that those items make much of a difference in the age. Her eyes were very large (reminded me of The Simpsons) she had a calming vibe about her.
I would like to know if anyone has had a similar experience? Do you believe in super-human/ghosts/spirits visiting us in this life?
How did they make you feel?
Interestingly so, only one friend believed what I had seen. Going with the notion that you are indeed telling the truth – It’s amazing that people no longer accept ‘facts’ as word of mouth. Instead, they demand (not request) demand proof! ‘Where’s the photo?’ then those that are able to produce one are often shot down with questions such as ‘Where’s the video? Who else was there?’
Which, yes I agree! they are valid questions…it’s just that ‘these days’ even when one if presented with factual evidence, one will still doubt and refute the truth.
I ask those refuters of truth, is this because you’re afraid of seeing an aspect of life, through an honest account?
OR do you feel that only God sends spirits/messages to his people and as you deem yourself to be better than the one that is presenting their account, then surely, they must be delusional?
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